‘Of course it does. It’s exactly how I felt. I wouldn’t say I forgot about Martin when I was at work, but somehow the job made life bearable. Whereas whatever I did outside work, I just felt unbearably sad.’
Pearson reached for the bottle of burgundy and topped up their glasses. ‘It’s funny, when people talk about addictions, they don’t usually think of work.’
‘I don’t know about that – why else do they talk about workaholics?’
‘That’s true. But for both of us, it seems that work isn’t an addiction; it is more a necessary escape.’ He reached forward and twitched the sheet for the main sail and the boat slowly adjusted.
‘Don’t get me wrong,’ he said, leaning back on the bench. ‘I love my job; it’s obvious to me that you love yours, too. But it’s just that because of our… situations, we don’t like doing anything else that gives us too much time to think. And I feel guilty about enjoying anything.’
‘Me too.’ She stared down at her glass. ‘Yet I’ve started to realise I’d like to feel I was living life again.’
Pearson nodded but said nothing; he seemed deep in thought. Then he turned to Liz, and said, ‘I will if you will.’
‘Will what?’ she asked, curious.
‘Try living again. It’s about time. Only I can’t do it on my own.’ He paused. ‘Maybe you can’t either.’
‘No, I can’t.’ She looked towards the shore, which they were approaching alarmingly fast. ‘Though you may want to alter direction a bit, before we run aground.’
Pearson looked up, then quickly reached for the rudder behind him and steered The Rubicon safely away from the shoals.
Liz said with a small laugh. ‘First obstacle successfully tackled by the two of us.’
‘There may be more to come,’ said Pearson.
‘I’m sure there will be,’ said Liz confidently. ‘It would be nice to tackle those together, too.’
A NOTE ON THE AUTHOR
DAME STELLA RIMINGTON joined the Security Service (MI5) in 1968. During her career she worked in all the main fields of the Service: counter-subversion, counter-espionage and counter-terrorism. She was appointed Director General in 1992, the first woman to hold the post. She has written her autobiography and ten Liz Carlyle novels. She lives in London and Norfolk.
BY THE SAME AUTHOR
At Risk
Secret Asset
Illegal Action
Dead Line
Present Danger
Rip Tide
The Geneva Trap
Close Call
Breaking Cover
Open Secret: The Autobiography of the Former Director-General of MI5
Also available by Stella Rimington
A new Cold War is coming, and Liz Carlyle is about to find herself on very thin ice
Recovering from a gruelling terrorist investigation, Liz Carlyle has been posted to MI5’s counter-espionage desk. Her bosses hope the change of scene will give her some breathing space, but they haven’t counted on Putin’s increased aggression towards the West. Soon Liz is on the hunt for a Russian spy who threatens to plunge Britain back into the fraught days of the Cold War.
Meanwhile, MI6 has hired Jasminder Kapoor, a controversial young civil rights lawyer, to explain issues of privacy and security to the public. But in this world of shadowy motives and secret identities, Jasminder must be extra-careful about whom she can trust…
‘A wealth of persuasive detail, obviously drawn from first-hand experience’ Marie Claire
A Russian agent. A deadly secret. The embers of the Cold War are about to about to reignite…
It all began by accident. Geneva, 2012. When a Russian spy approaches MI6 with vital information about an imminent cyber attack, he refuses to talk to anyone but Liz Carlyle of MI5. But who is he, and what is his connection to Liz? At a US Air Force base in Nevada, officers watch in horror as one of their unmanned drones plummets out of the sky, and panic spreads through the British and American Intelligence services, Is this a Russian plot to disable the West”s defences? Or is the threat coming from elsewhere?
As Liz and her team hunt for a mole inside the MOD, the trail leads them from Geneva, to Marseilles and into a labyrinth of international intrigue, in a race against time to stop the Cold War heating up once again…
‘She bids to join the ranks of such secret agent authors as Somerset Maugham, Graham Greene and John le Carré’ Wall Street Journal
The most dangerous threats are those closest to home
In a Middle Eastern souk, CIA agent Miles Brook haven was attacked. At the time he was infiltrating rebel groups in the area. No one was certain if his cover had been blown or if the act was just an arbitrary attack on Westerners. Months later, the incident remains a mystery.
Now Liz Carlyle and MI5 have been charged with the task of watching the international under-the-counter arms trade: a trade that has been booming in the wake of the Arab Spring. As the clock counts down, Liz finds herself on a manhunt through Paris and Berlin, and into her own long-forgotten past. A past buried so deep that she never thought it would resurface…
‘This is something rare: the spy novel that prizes authenticity over fabrication that is true to the character and spirit of intelligence work’ Mail on Sunday
To catch an enemy with nothing to lose, Liz Carlyle must venture into dangerous waters
When pirates attack a cargo ship off the Somalian coast and one of them is found to be a British-born Pakistani, alarm bells start ringing at London’s Thames House. MI5 Intelligence Officer Liz Carlyle is brought in to establish how and why a young British Muslim could go missing from his well-to-do family in Birmingham and end up onboard a pirate skiff in the Indian Ocean, armed with a Kalashnikov.
After an undercover operative connected to the case turns up dead in the shipping office of an NGO in Athens it looks like piracy may be the least of the Service’s problems. Liz and her team must unravel the connections between Pakistan, Greece and Somalia, relying on their wits – and the judicious use of force – to get to the truth.