‘They’re just cowards,’ Janet had said, her bright eyes like sparks because she was so angry. ‘Parasites feeding off other people’s grief.’
Annie had asked Sam if he’d like to come with her to Sittingwell, but he’d decided against it. ‘Best not to crowd her right at the start. She won’t want a welcome party or a lot of fuss.’ Annie had almost said, ‘I’d like you there. I don’t want to face her on my own. Please come with me.’ But she’d never been very good at making demands of Sam. She was too passive. Perhaps that was a mistake and he’d realize more that she loved him, and depended on him, if she asked more of him.
At last it was time to go inside. A cheerful officer said Lizzie was just with the governor and wouldn’t be long. ‘How are you planning to celebrate? A big Sunday lunch?’
Annie smiled and said her husband would be in the kitchen now, preparing something special. Then she thought of the woman Lizzie had scarred with the bottle in the bar in Kimmerston. She hadn’t appeared in court, because Lizzie had pleaded guilty. Annie didn’t suppose that woman would be celebrating today, if she’d been told that Lizzie was being released. Her family wouldn’t be sitting down to a celebratory Sunday meal.
Then suddenly Lizzie appeared, as if from nowhere, walking down the corridor towards Annie and it was just as she’d imagined. Except that, as she got closer, Lizzie’s face didn’t light up. It was closed and blank, as it had always been. She just nodded at Annie, called goodbye to the officer at the desk and walked out of the big arched door ahead of her mother.
The weather had changed overnight, and when they emerged into the garden there was a sudden rainstorm that caught them unawares and sent them running for the car. Annie found herself giggling – the result of tension, and because she thought they must look ridiculous. She was still dressed for the heatwave in a light chiffon frock and sandals. She imagined the women watching from the long windows. Lizzie joined in with the laughter and for a moment they stood together on the gravel, their faces turned to the rain, not moving. Then Annie found her keys and they tumbled into the car, both of them drenched.
Annie drove for a while without speaking. She knew she made Lizzie feel hemmed in; it would probably be best to stay cool and keep an emotional distance. She wished she could ask Lizzie what she wanted from her mother, but Lizzie hated those in-depth conversations. They’d tried family therapy once, and Lizzie had taken the piss throughout. So Annie drove out of the gate into the road without a word. Lizzie glanced back at the prison as they pulled away and then stared in front of her.
Another burst of rain spattered the windscreen.
‘Have they found the killer yet?’ The question from Lizzie came suddenly, but Annie had the impression it had been on her mind from the moment she left the prison.
‘No.’ Annie paused. ‘There’s been another death in the valley. Did you hear about that?’ She thought there must have been rumours. Shirley Hewarth would have been a regular visitor at the prison. Surely the officers would have talked.
‘No.’ Lizzie turned to face her mother. They were stopped at traffic lights and Annie glanced back. Her daughter looked very pale in the strange thundery light. ‘Who?’
‘Shirley Hewarth, the woman who came to visit you.’
A silence, broken by the swish of windscreen wipers, regular as a metronome.
No response from Lizzie. Her face was quite blank and closed again.
‘She seemed a lovely woman,’ Annie said. Then: ‘I was there when Janet O’Kane found her body. She screamed. We were in the Lucas house, and we all ran out to look.’
‘She was killed in the valley?’ Now there was a reaction from Lizzie. Shock and something else. Anxiety?
‘I suppose so. Or her body was dumped there. The police have been nosing around, but they don’t tell us anything.’ The rain stopped as suddenly as it had started and the wipers squeaked on the dry windscreen. Annie shot another quick glance towards her daughter. ‘Where shall we go? Straight home or to Kimmerston? We could have coffee.’ She realized the last thing she wanted was to go straight back to the valley. ‘Dad’s doing a special meal, but he was planning it for later this evening. We know you don’t like to eat early. And you need new clothes. We left most of your old ones in the flat. What about heading into Newcastle for the shops?’ She stopped abruptly, hearing an edge of desperation in her voice.
There was another long silence before Lizzie answered. ‘Let’s go home. I’ve got used to eating early in the prison. And besides, I could murder a proper cup of tea.’
They were driving up the lane towards home when they passed the detective’s Land Rover coming the other way. Annie hoped they hadn’t been in their house bothering Sam again. He’d be tense enough about Lizzie coming home. Anxious about saying the wrong thing and not giving her proper support.
‘Whose car’s that?’ Lizzie had just looked up as they squeezed past, the Land Rover almost in the ditch.
‘They’re part of the police team.’
When they opened the door Sam was already in the hall. He must have heard the car. There was a moment of hesitation, then he opened his arms and Lizzie ran towards him. It was all better than Annie could have expected. After all, Lizzie hadn’t seen her father for several months and she wasn’t one for being held. Never had been. At the back of Annie’s mind there was a niggle. It can’t be this easy. Lizzie has conned us before. Why should I trust her this time? She thought they’d been hurt so many times before that it was sensible to limit her expectations. But she wanted to enjoy this moment too. Lizzie sober and clean, and home from prison. Lizzie being normal.
They’d got the room ready for her. Flowers in a jam jar on the windowsill. A new duvet cover on the bed. A small TV. Everything bright and clean. There was an arched window, formed from part of the old barn door, and the room was full of the sulphurous light.
‘Is this okay?’ Annie stood at the door and showed Lizzie in.
‘It’s lovely!’ Lizzie stood at the window and looked down at the river. ‘Where did you find Shirley?’
‘You can’t see the footpath from here.’ Annie was pleased about that. ‘The other houses must be in the way.’
‘I might go out for a walk later,’ Lizzie said. ‘That’s something else I’ve been looking forward to. The freedom to go wherever I like. Clean air.’
‘Not on your own!’ Annie realized, as soon as the words were out of her mouth, that they sounded controlling and bossy. Not at all how she’d hoped to be with her daughter. Not this time. She took a deep breath. ‘There’s a killer out there. I just want you to be safe.’
Lizzie turned from the window and stared at her. ‘If I stay indoors I might as well be in prison.’
‘Of course. I understand. You’re a grown-up and you have to make your own decisions. Take responsibility for yourself.’ A pause. ‘But let Dad come with you. At least for the first time this afternoon. He’d love to be asked. Otherwise I’ll spend all the time you’re out worrying about you.’
Lizzie gave a sudden smile. ‘Oh, Mum, you do try so hard.’
‘I’m sorry. I can never quite get it right.’
They stood for a moment, separate and apart, looking down at the valley.