“Agreed. But if I were older, would you praise me?”
“I don’t smoke.”
“Because of your health?”
“More than that, I think it’s a waste of time. If it takes about three minutes to smoke one cigarette, then people who smoke a whole pack a day waste one hour out of twenty-four just smoking. They might say they’re actually working while they smoke, but that’s bull. Another reason: in order to smoke, you have to sacrifice a hand. There’s hardly any line of work that benefits from you using one hand instead of both.”
Juri faced me and blew smoke into my face. “Is it any fun thinking that way?”
“It’s not because it’s fun, it’s just that I don’t like wasteful things. Anyway, have you come to a decision?”
Juri put out her cigarette in the ashtray with some care and brought her second cup of coffee to her mouth.
“To put it simply, I was running away from home.”
“Running away?”
“That’s right. I came to hate being in that house, so I ran away. That’s why I can’t get caught by my parents. That’s why I had to climb over the wall.”
“I don’t buy it.”
“Why not?”
“That’s not something you do in such light gear.” Her luggage was just one small handbag.
“You can believe it or not, but don’t get in my way.” She took a second cigarette out of the pack.
I sighed and looked around. I didn’t want anyone to think I was trying to woo a young woman, but I had a mountain of stuff I wanted to get out of her.
“I got it,” I conceded. “I’ll accept that you were running away. But I can’t let you escape from my sight just yet. I’d like to hear the reason why you’re running. If I think it’s not unreasonable for you to run away, I’ll turn a blind eye tonight.”
Juri blew smoke at me. “Why do I need your permission to run away?”
“Because that’s the situation. I suppose you’ll just have to resign yourself to the fact that you were unlucky enough to be witnessed. So tell me.” I motioned with my right palm, leading her on.
Still holding the cigarette between her fingers, she bit the thumb nail on her other hand. Her nails and teeth were also well-maintained, beautiful.
After taking that thumb from her mouth, she side-eyed me.
“It was Mr. Sakuma, right?”
“I’m glad you remembered,” I answered smugly.
“What I’m about to tell you—can you promise me you won’t tell anyone?”
“I want to say I’ll promise, but it’ll depend on what you say.”
“Hmph.” She looked over at me again and stared fixedly. “You’re pretty honest. I thought you’d say you’d promise.”
“It’d be meaningless to make that promise.” It was easy to say I’d promise, but she wasn’t the type of girl to talk if I did.
“I guess there’s no guarantee you’d honor your promise anyway.”
“That’s the way it is. But I can say this. My attitude depends on if I benefit from it. And if I’m not going to, I don’t particularly want to be known as a gossipy guy. Especially not by a favored client’s daughter.”
The corner of Juri’s lips twisted. I couldn’t tell whether she thought I was being unpleasant.
She took several pulls from her cigarette in rapid succession. I decided to watch as she blew gray smoke incessantly.
“You know, I—” Juri started, “I’m not really a Katsuragi.”
“Ah.” I gazed at her profile. This had caught me flat-footed. “Is that right?”
“It might not be accurate to say ‘not really.’ Officially…yeah, I should say officially I’m not his daughter.”
“Either way, it’s still a surprising confession. If it’s true.”
“If you’re not going to believe me, you can forget about it. Because I won’t tell you any more.”
“Hey, hey,” I pleaded with a soothing gesture. “Don’t think it’s unreasonable for me to be surprised. I won’t interrupt you again, so let me hear the rest.”
Juri gave a light snort. Her expression betrayed disdain for a mere gossip-lover. Given the circumstances, I resigned myself to taking that look.
“Did you know Papa married a second time?”
“I’ve heard about that. But wasn’t this almost twenty years ago?”
“Exactly twenty. He divorced his last wife with mutual consent. With his current wife, he has one daughter.”
“It seems unlikely that that daughter is you.”
She wouldn’t call her own mother “his current wife.” But she had also said “last wife.” That suggested she wasn’t the child of the last wife, either.
“I’m actually the child of his last lover.”
She said it so plainly that I couldn’t reply. I blinked with my mouth half-open.
“It might not be right to say that she was his last lover. She might have been his lover before last, or maybe even the one before. Anyway, that guy doesn’t stop.” She smiled with just her lips. Apparently by “that guy” she meant her father.
“Are you saying she’s a lover from Mr. Katsuragi’s earlier marriage?”
“Well, yeah. The divorce seemed to have something to do with it, too. Apparently, his last wife was a high-class lady from a good family, so even though she was dealing with the mighty Katsuragis, she must not have been able to stand it.”
Listening to Juri’s story, I couldn’t help but chuckle. It was a fine joke that Katsutoshi Katsuragi had fumbled his private life.
“Then, why are you, the daughter of a lover, living with the Katsuragis?”
“It’s simple. Because my mom died. Apparently it was leukemia. They say she was really beautiful, and also that beauties die young,” Juri said without any note of sorrow.
“You don’t remember your mom?”
“I feel like I remember her faintly, but…” She shook her head. “I don’t really know. Maybe I don’t remember. Maybe I’ve seen pictures and are mistaking them for memories.”
A coolheaded analysis. “When did the Katsuragis take you in?”
“When I was eight. But my mom died when I was three. During that time, my grandmother took care of me.”
At eight, her personality would have finished developing. I imagined how Juri must have felt being taken away, and felt some sympathy for her. “I wonder why Mr. Katsuragi didn’t try to take you in until you were eight.”
“Who knows. Maybe because of his new wife. His legit daughter had been born by then.”
“In that case, I wonder why he decided to take you in.”
“Because my grandmother fell ill. Someone had to raise me, huh? Papa did recognize me as his own, and he must’ve thought that taking me into his home as his daughter at that point was better than someone else doing it and raising hell.”
Juri put out her cigarette in the ashtray.
“You’ve been at that house since then?”
“In a way.”
“In a way?”
“Think about it. If you suddenly had someone else’s kid come in, even if it’s an eight year old, your new wife and real daughter wouldn’t feel good about it. Even Papa knew that, so they sent me to a boarding school. Up north in Sendai, too.”
“From elementary school?”
“From elementary school to high school. The only times I’d go home were during long vacations. But then, I didn’t feel like going home one bit. I wanted to stay in the dormitories forever. But according to the school rules, unless there were special circumstances, you had to go home. I hated summer vacation and even winter vacation and spring vacation. I thought if we just didn’t have those things I’d be all set. Normal kids get excited when vacation gets closer and lament that it’s over, but I was completely the opposite. How I awaited the end of August.”
Juri was looking at the street through the glass. It was an expression that housed both loneliness and emptiness. She might have gone through her childhood with that face.