Words that even then were spinning in the air with horrible, alarming clarity. “I love you. Oh God, I love you.” The echoing shouts of completion from Bram and Ry hardly drowned out her damning confession.
Chapter Fourteen
Her heart thundering, she rolled off Bram the second Ry dismounted. She started to jump off the bed, but Bram’s fingers cuffed her wrist, stalling her short.
“Lace, look at me.”
Despite every internal defense mechanism warning her not to do it, she obeyed his soft command. His eyes held an overflow of tenderness. “Don’t be freaked out because of what you admitted. We love you too. Have for a long time.”
His unexpected words hammered into her. Pulse speeding out of control, she jerked her gaze to Ry, who was watching her with an expression identical to Bram’s. “What?”
“That’s right, baby. We’ve been madly, hopelessly in love with you for going on damn near fifteen years.”
“But…” The panic bells began tolling in her head. “You never said anything. Never so much as hinted…” Her eyes narrowed. “You were going to let me marry Dan.” And look where that had gotten her. Further proof that love was only a heartache she couldn’t afford.
Ry and Bram both grimaced, but it was Bram who ultimately addressed her accusation. “If we’d known what a cheating prick he was, we would never have let you go out with him in the first place.”
She plunked her hands on her hips. “Let me go out with him?”
Bram’s cheeks reddened. “Shit, that didn’t come out right.”
Ry scooted off the mattress and walked toward her. “What Bram’s trying to say is that we wanted you to be happy. Obviously Dan didn’t feel the same way. But we can change all that now. You, Bram and I, we can forge our happiness together.”
Like a taunting ghost that’d been waiting for the perfect moment to feed her insecurities, Olivia’s voice popped inside Lacey’s head. You know why Dan left, don’t you? Because you’re boring. A goody-goody who doesn’t know the first thing about how to please a man. Or keep him happy. Or should we say keep him period?
Ry moved to hug her, but she stumbled out of his reach and hurried down the hallway. She could hear him and Bram following after her, but she forced herself not to look at them as she stopped in the entryway and tugged on her jeans.
“Baby, what are you doing?”
She pulled on her sweater, despising the way her fingers shook. “Going home.”
“Why?”
“Because I can’t be here right now.” Not when the walls were closing in on her and she felt like she was seconds away from throwing up.
Before she could stop him, Bram stepped in front of the door, blocking her exit. “Whatever’s scaring you, Lace, don’t listen to it. We’re here for you.” He cupped her face, forcing her to meet the sincerity in his gaze. “Always.”
“Please, I—I just need to be by myself for a while.”
Ry’s hands settled on her shoulders. “Don’t shut us out, baby. Not now. Not after everything we’ve been through.”
She swallowed, the agitation sticking in her throat. “I told you this would end up being a mistake.”
A flash of pain flickered in Bram’s eyes. “Don’t say that. Loving each other isn’t a mistake.”
“It will be when this doesn’t work out. And how can it? For God’s sake, Bram, there are three of us in this equation. Not exactly the norm.”
“We’ll figure it out. Hell, it’s not like this place isn’t big enough for all of us.”
She gaped at him. His Adam’s apple bobbed. “Or…we can move into your place. I’m not averse to selling my house. And Ry’s lease is almost up on his condo.”
Danger. Danger. Danger. This was how it all started. Talk of a future that would ultimately crumble into shattered illusions. She’d been down this road before and recognized a devastating oncoming collision when she saw one. “No one is moving anywhere.” Jerking out of Bram’s and Ry’s grasps, she bent and swiped her purse from where it’d landed earlier. Straightening, she sent Bram a resolute stare while inside she trembled. “Don’t make me beg you to step away from the door.”
Bram’s face fell. “Lace—”
“Let her go.”
Bram glanced at Ry in surprise. Taking advantage of his distraction, she scooted under the arm he had braced on the doorframe and reached for the knob.
Ry’s voice wrapped around her with tenderness. “Baby, we love you. Just remember that.”
She stumbled out the door. Halfway to her car, she realized why she was shivering spastically. She’d left her coat back in the house. Not even chilled bones would convince her to risk repeating the painful scene she’d just left. Stomach lurching, she jumped in her Pathfinder and somehow worked her shaking fingers enough to fumble the key into the ignition and steer the vehicle out of the driveway.
The real miracle was keeping down her breakfast until she made it home to her bathroom.
Chapter Fifteen
Sitting through a second grade Christmas pageant with a heavy heart and an awful sickness churning in her stomach wasn’t exactly Lacey’s idea of a good time. Unfortunately, she didn’t have much choice but to grin and bear it since she’d promised her aunt Eliza weeks ago that she wouldn’t miss Jamie’s big debut as one of Santa’s elves. Being a single parent, Eliza counted on all the family support she could get. And with Lacey’s parents already down in Florida, Lacey was pretty much all Eliza and Jamie had. She couldn’t let them down.
Somehow she managed to smile and clap when her niece and the rest of the eight year olds took their bows before giggling and scurrying toward the auditorium wings of Hofferton’s Elementary School. Clutching her purse like a lifeline, Lacey turned toward her aunt with a smile that she prayed didn’t look half as pained as it felt. “Well, give Jamie a big kiss for me and tell her I think we have a star in the making.”
Aunt Eliza’s lips hitched into a frown. “I thought you were joining us for dinner.”
“Thanks, but if you don’t mind, I think I’ll skip it this time. All the hours I’ve been putting in at the restaurant have really tuckered me out the past few days.” That and trying to cope with the turmoil inside her heart.
“But, hon, it’s the holidays. Plus I know how much Jamie would love getting to have her most favoritest person in the whole world brag on her performance.”
The woman was a freaking pro at wheedling people into going along with her plans. Lacey sighed softly. “All right, count me in.”
“Fantastic!” Eliza hugged Lacey tight, enveloping her in a gardenia-scented cloud. The strong potency of her aunt’s perfume increased Lacey’s queasiness.
“I’ll follow you guys. Where do you want to go?”
“Well, I did promise Jamie she could have one of those Shirley Temples that your bartender George makes special for her.”
Great. As if seeing Ry and Bram twelve hours a day and dodging their pleas to come back wasn’t enough to deal with, now she’d have to face them with family looking on and pretend that her world wasn’t spinning out of control. “Sounds like a plan, then. I’ll meet you there in a few.”
After giving her aunt a kiss, she ducked out of the auditorium and hurried across the school parking lot to her car. Once inside the cold vehicle, she pressed her forehead against the steering wheel and gulped past the misery congealing in her windpipe.
How the hell had everything turned so wrong?
She’d known giving in to her desire for her two best friends would backfire on her. It was only supposed to be a fun, sexy affair. That she could handle. Love, on the other hand, was something she couldn’t afford to give away. Just thinking about it tightened the ball of tension riding against her sternum.