I snapped that Manny hadn’t been lying — something that I was by no means sure of, much as I wanted to be. Kay shrugged that of course I knew more about my business than she did. So who was responsible for the shooting, if Manny was not?
“I thought she was the only one you and Sergeant Claggett suspected. Of giving you such a bad time, I mean. I guess you did say that her uncle might be involved, but you really didn’t seem to believe it.”
“Didn’t and don’t,” I said curtly. “That was just a far-out possibility.”
“Well, just don’t you worry your sweet tinted-gray head about it,” said Kay. “I imagine that Miss Aloe just forgot that she’d ordered someone to take a shot at you. I’ll bet that now she remembers doing it, she’s just as sorry as she can be.”
I said something that sounded like “ship” but wasn’t. Kay said brightly that she’d just thought of another explanation for the shooting. Manny had ordered it, and then ordered it canceled. But the gunman had forgotten the cancellation.
“That’s probably what happened, Britt, don’t you think so? Of course, you’d think a professional gunman would be a little more careful, but, oh well, that’s life.”
“That’s life,” I said, “and this is my hand. And if you don’t stop needling me, dammit…!”
“I’m sorry, darling. It just about had to be an accident, didn’t it? A stray bullet from a hunter’s gun.”
“Well…” I hesitated.
“Right,” said Kay. “So there’s no reason to tell Sergeant Claggett that you were ever outside the house. He’d just get all upset and mad, and maybe take me away from you, and, oh boy,” sighed Kay. “Am I glad to get that settled! Let’s go to the bathroom, shall we?”
We went to the bathroom.
We got out of our clothes and washed, and helped each other wash, and Kay carefully removed the adhesive strip and examined my head wound.
“Mmm-hmm. It doesn’t look so bad, Britt. How does it feel?”
“No problem. A very slight itching and stinging occasionally.”
“Well, we’ll leave it unbandaged for the time being. Let the air get to it. Have you felt any more faintness?”
“Nope. Not the faintest.”
She lowered the toilet seat, and told me to sit down on it. I did, and she took my pulse while resting a palm on my forehead. Then—
The bathroom suddenly began to shake. There was a sudden ominous creaking and cracking, slowly mounting in volume.
Kay pitched sideways, and her mouth opened to scream. I laughed, grabbed her, and pulled her down on my lap.
“It’s all right,” I said, “don’t be afraid. I’ve been through the same thing a dozen times. There’s a lot of shaking and trembling, and some of the damnedest racket you ever heard, but…
I tightened my grip on her, for the shaking was already pretty violent. And the noise was so bad that I was virtually yelling at her.
The house was “settling,” I explained. Something it had done sporadically for decades. The phenomenon was due to aging and exceptionally heavy building materials, and, possibly, to deep subterranean springs which lay beneath the structure. But frightening as it was to anyone unaccustomed to it, there was absolutely no danger. In a few minutes it would all be over.
The few minutes were actually more than ten. Kay sat with her arms wound around my neck, hanging on so tightly at times that I was almost strangled. It was not a bad way to go, though, if one had to, being hugged to death by a girl who was not only very pretty but also very naked. And I held her nakedness to mine, as enthusiastically as she held mine to hers.
It was so pleasant, in fact, that neither of us was in any hurry to let go even after the noise and the trembling had ceased.
I patted her on the flank and said she wiggled very good. She whispered naughtily in my ear — something which I shall not repeat — and then she blushed violently. And I even blushed a little myself.
I was trying to think of some suitable or, rather, unsuitable reply, when she let out a startled gasp.
“Oh, my God, Britt” — she pointed a trembling finger — “I-look!”
I looked. And laughed. “It’s all right,” I said, giving her another flank spank. “It always does that.”
“В-but the doorknob turned! It’s still turning.”
“I know. I imagine every other doorknob in the place is doing the same thing. As I understand it, the house undergoes a kind of winding-up during the settling process. Then when the tension is relieved, there’s a general relaxing or unwinding, and you see such things as doors flying open or their knobs turning.”
Kay said, Whew, brushing imaginary perspiration from her brow.
“It scared me to death, Britt! Really!”
“No, it didn’t, Kay,” I said. “Really!”
“Well, I sure wouldn’t want to be alone when it happened. You see the knob turn, and — How do you know someone’s not there?”
“Very simply,” I said. “If someone’s there, he just opens the door and comes in.”
The door opened, and Sergeant Claggett came in.
He stood frozen in his tracks for a moment, blinking at us incredulously. Then he said, “Excuse me!” retreating across the threshold with a hasty back-step.
“Excuse me for not getting up,” I said.
“I want to see you downstairs, Britt!” He spoke with his head turned. “Immediately, understand?”
“Of course,” I said. “Just as soon as I get something in — on.”
“And you, too.” He addressed Kay without looking at her. “I want to see you, too, Officer Nolton!”
I suppose I should have seen the truth from the start. Almost any fool would have, I am sure, so that should have qualified me for seeing it I hadn’t because I am a plain, garden variety of fool, not the devious kind. I am a worshipper at the shrine of laissez faire, a devotee of the status quo. I accept things as they are, for what they are, without proof or documentation. I ask no more than a quid pro quo. And failing to get a fair exchange, I will normally accept the less that is offered. In a word, I am about as undevious as one can be. And having no talent nor liking for deception, I am easily deceived. As per the present instance.
Claggett wanted me to have round-the-clock protection. Which is not easily managed by a mere detective sergeant in an undermanned, tightly budgeted police department. He didn’t want me to know that I had such protection, believing that I would inadvertently reveal it where it was best not revealed. So the cop he planted on me was also a nurse, someone whose presence in the house would be taken for granted. And since she was a nurse, he could have her wages paid by PXA’s insurers, thus quieting any objections from the PD.
Naive as I was, I would still ask myself why a nurse would take such a potentially dangerous job. Claggett had provided the answer by making it appear that there was something wrong with her, or that there could be something wrong with her. That not only satisfied my curiosity as to why she was taking the job, but it would also — he hoped — make me wary of her. I would shy away from any personal involvement with her, and she would not be distracted from her duties as a cop.
Well, the deception had worked fine, up to a point. A cop had been planted on me, and I had no idea that she was a cop. Doubts about her good intentions had been planted in my mind, and I did my damnedest to hold her in distance. Why then had I wound up in bed with her? How could she have been so outrageously derelict in her duty?
Claggett swore savagely that it was too damned much for him.