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He laughed then and said, ‘ Sounds good. She keeps calling it a little get-together, but it gets bigger every time I turn around. Pretty soon we’ re going to have to rent the Convention Center.’

After Troy left, I handed Martucci his box of cars back. ‘ Okay, I’ m facing Bigwood on my own,’  I said. ‘ You’ d better be right about this.’

‘ When are you going to accept the fact that I’ m always right?’

TWO HOURS AND three bourbons later, I tottered back into the office. Most everyone had left for the weekend. I stopped by Susan’ s office, getting there as she was about to switch off her lights and leave. ‘ I was worried I was going to miss you!’  she exclaimed. ‘ Sooooooo? How’ d it go?’

‘ Let’ s just say that I astounded even myself.’

I must have slurred, because she smiled. ‘ He talked you into the third drink, huh?’

‘ Yes, not that it matters. I already had him eating out of my hand by that point.’

‘ I’ ll bet you did. Is the job yours?’

‘ He says he’ s restructuring, so the job as it was doesn’ t exist anymore, but he’ s definitely promoting me. He loved the race idea& although’ -I reminded myself to give Martucci a piece of my mind later-’ it took him a while to get what I was talking about. He said he wished he had a visual.’  Fifth-grade science project indeed.

‘ Well, congratulations! I’ d offer to take you out for a celebratory drink, but I’ ve got to pick the kids up-I’ m already running late. You rode the bus in today, didn’ t you? You want a ride home?’

‘ No, thanks.’

‘ You sure? We could do dinner at my house if you don’ t mind Burger King-I promised the boys.’

‘ I’ m sure. All I want to do is go home and veg out. This past week has been insane, and Bob and Charlotte are going to be at my place at nine o’ clock tomorrow to go over a few last-minute things before we see Deedee.’

‘ That’ s right. Oh, June, it’ s so incredible that things are working out this way.’

‘ It’ s not a done deal yet,’  I reminded her. ‘ Deedee still has to say yes.’

‘ She will.’

After promising Susan that I’ d call if I needed anything, I went straight to Martucci’ s office. I was barely in the door when he said, ‘ Hmm, I forgot to warn you that he’ d try to talk you into a third drink.’

Okay, I hadn’ t even spoken yet, so I figured I must really reek of alcohol. ‘ Aren’ t you going to ask how it went?’

‘ With that kittenish smile you’ re giving me? I’ m afraid you’ re about to tell me he made you my boss.’

‘ We’ ll have to see. He’ s moving things around, but I’ m definitely management.’

‘ And you came to say you owe it all to me.’

‘ I did want to say thanks. I’ d give you another hug, but you know how I am once I have a few drinks. I might go after the rattail again.’

With that, he shot me a grin and turned slightly, rubbing the back of his neck. It was neatly trimmed. Not a hairy tadpole in sight.

‘ It’ s gone!’  I cried. ‘ I knew there was something different about you. What made you do it?’

‘ Just decided it was time.’

I didn’ t mention that he was about twenty years off. ‘ Well, it suits you.’

‘ Glad you think so.’

I needed to make a dash for it if I was going to make the five-fifteen bus, but I knew I hadn’ t thanked Martucci for everything yet. I at least owed him that. ‘ By the way,’  I said, feeling shy suddenly. ‘ Thanks for the other night. You could have so easily taken advantage. You were serious, weren’ t you? I mean, that nothing happened?’

He tipped back in his chair. ‘ Doll, if you ever got a piece of me, I don’ t care how much you had to drink-you wouldn’ t forget it.’

Chapter 24

I listened to the message Troy left on my machine five times before I so much as kicked off my shoes.

The first time around, I’ d heard enough to conclude he was canceling. And when he told me at the office that he’ d tried to explain why he’ d left Las Vegas so abruptly, I assumed it’ d be a cheesy excuse along the lines of ‘ Something suddenly came up.’

The last thing I expected was what he actually said.

I hit ‘ play’  again.

‘ Hi, June, this is Troy. I’ ve been trying to call, but you’ re not an easy woman to get on the phone. I hate to leave this in a message, but here goes. I know we talked about my coming to your meeting Friday to help with your race, and I’ d understand if you don’ t want me to. I still plan to be there. Three o’ clock. It’ s in my book. Give me a call if you don’ t want me to show, okay?

‘ And, shoot, how do I say this? You’ re probably wondering why I took off so fast Saturday night. I wanted to make sure you know that it’ s nothing you said or did. It’ s just that& and this is going to sound crazy& but all of a sudden it seemed so wrong that we were sitting there, listening to music, having fun, and making plans, and, with you about to adopt a baby, life was marching forward. I don’ t know why, but it pissed me off. It’ s not rational, but that’ s what it was. I guess my mom cries to deal with stuff. I punch holes through doors and drive too fast and say shitty things to nice girls. So I’ m sorry about that. Anyway, I guess I’ m more messed up about my sister’ s accident than I thought I was. I wish I met you because, I don’ t know, we bumped grocery carts or something. I know I’ m rambling, but I wouldn’ t feel right if I didn’ t let you know that I think you’ re great, and if circumstances were-’

Beep.

My machine cut him off, and even though I hadn’ t correctly filled in the blanks of his message before, I felt I could reliably do so at this point: that if circumstances were different, we could have something together. But they aren’ t. So we can’ t.

I felt strangely at peace with it.

It wasn’ t as if he’ d dumped me at the altar. We hadn’ t-as Troy had once stopped short of saying-so much as kissed/dated/screwed.

So perhaps the real question, I pondered as I finally got around to changing into sweats and slippers and making myself a cup of tea, was not so much why I didn’ t feel emotionally wrenched, but why I’ d had my hopes up in the first place.

Sure, he was cute, but plenty of guys are cute. Heck, now that Martucci lost that disgusting rattail, one could say that even he& Nah. I erased the thought. Martucci would never be cute. Bunnies are cute. He’ d be more likely compared with a creature that might eat bunnies. Anyway, the point was that a pretty face could take a guy only so far in my affections. It had to have been more than that with Troy.

When I’ d run into him at the cemetery those many months ago, I’ d been wallowing in depression. Doing the list had given me purpose. In a convoluted way, I had him to thank for it, even if he had no idea he’ d been the impetus. It was that look he’ d given me when I’ d told him I was going to complete the list for his sister. In a glance, he erased my mundane past. The reflection I saw of myself in Troy’ s eyes was like staring in a funhouse mirror that made me appear braver and bolder than I was. Even if I knew it wasn’ t real, I couldn’ t tear my gaze away from it.

As of tomorrow, however, I wasn’ t going to need the illusion anymore. I was going to make something happen that just a few months ago would have seemed inconceivable. I was going to change the lives of so many people at once. My brother and Charlotte would get the baby they’ d always dreamed of. A baby would have a good home. Deedee would be able to go on with her studies and attend college. And Troy, Kitty, and the entire Jones family would know that the item on the list that most spoke to them about their beloved Marissa-Change someone’ s life-had been completed with such grace.