Ballard left the house and joined Robards and Dautre at their car.
“Nothing,” Dautre said.
“We checked her cans and the neighbors on all sides,” Robards said. “You want us to do more?”
Ballard looked back at the house. She saw the light behind the living room curtains go out. She knew that some mysteries never get solved.
“No,” she said. “You’re clear.”
The officers moved quickly to their patrol car as though they couldn’t wait to get away from the scene. Ballard didn’t blame them. She got in her own car and sat there for a long moment watching the now-dark house. Finally, she pulled her phone and called the number Cecilia had labeled DAD in her contact list. Ballard had written it down. A man answered the call right away but still seemed startled from sleep.
“Mr. Winter?”
“Yes, who is this?”
“Detective Ballard, Los Angeles Police De—”
“Oh god, oh god, what happened?”
“I’m sorry to tell you, sir, but your daughter, Cecilia, is dead.” There was a long silence, broken only by sounds of the man on the other end of the line beginning to cry.
“Sir, can you tell me where you are? Is there someone you can be with?”
“I told her. I told her this time it felt real.”
“Told Cecilia? What did you tell her?”
“No, my wife. My daughter — our daughter is... was... troubled. She killed herself, didn’t she? Oh my god I just can’t...”
“Yes, I’m afraid she did. You spoke to her earlier tonight?”
“She called me. She said she was going to do it. She’s said it before but this time it felt... is my wife there?”
“She’s at the house. She asked us to leave. Is there a family member or friend I can call to be with her? That’s really why I’m calling. We had to respect her wishes for us to leave but I don’t think she should be alone.”
“I’ll get somebody. I’ll call her sister.”
“Okay, sir.”
There was more whimpering and Ballard let it go for a while before interrupting.
“Where are you, Mr. Winter?”
“Naperville. The company I work for is based here.”
“Where is that, sir?”
“Outside Chicago.”
“I think you need to come home and be with your wife.”
“I am. I’ll book the first flight out.”
“Can you tell me what your daughter said on the phone call?”
“She said she was tired of having no friends and being overweight. We tried different things with her. To help her. But nothing worked. It felt different this time. She seemed so sad. I told Ivy to watch her because I had never heard her so sad before.”
His last few words came out in bursts as he started to cry loudly. “Mr. Winter, you need to be with your wife. I know that won’t happen until tomorrow, but you should call her. Call Ivy. I’ll hang up now and you can call.”
“Okay... I’ll call.”
“This is your cell, right?”
“Uh, yes.”
“So you should have my number on your call log. Call me if there are any questions or there is something I can do.”
“Where is she? Where is my baby?”
“They took her to the coroner’s office. And they will be in touch with you. Good night now, Mr. Winter. I’m sorry for your loss.”
Ballard disconnected and sat unmoving in her car for a long moment. She was torn between accepting that an eleven-year-old girl would take her own life and being suspicious because the mother left her hanging and the father never asked how she had killed herself.
She pulled her phone and hit redial. Winter answered immediately.
“Mr. Winter, I’m sorry to call back,” she said. “Were you talking to your wife?”
“No,” Winter said. “I couldn’t bring myself to call her yet.”
“Is this an iPhone you are on, sir?”
“Uh, yes. Why would you ask that?”
“Because for the report I’m going to have to write, I need to confirm your location. This means I need to contact the Naperville police and have an officer come to your hotel, or you could just text me your contact info and share your location with me. It would save time and you wouldn’t be intruded on by the police up there.”
There was silence for a long beat.
“You really have to do that?” Winter finally asked. “Yes, sir, we do,” Ballard said. “Part of the protocol. All deaths are investigated. If you don’t want to share your location on the phone, just tell me where you are and I’ll have a local officer run by as soon as possible.”
Another silence went by and when Winter spoke, his voice had a coldness to it that was unmistakable.
“I’ll text my contact info and share my location with you,” he said. “Are we done now?”
“Yes, sir,” Ballard said. “Thank you once again for your cooperation and I’m sorry for your loss.”
16
On the way back to the station Ballard detoured down Cahuenga and then over to Cole. She drove slowly by the line of tents, lean-to tarp constructions, and occupied sleeping bags that ran the fence line of the public park. She saw that the spot previously used by the man who had been immolated the night before was already taken by someone with an orange-and-blue tent. She stopped in the street — there was no traffic to worry about impeding — and looked at the blue tarp where she knew the girl named Mandy slept. All seemed quiet. A slight gust of wind flapped the dirty tarp for a moment but soon the scene returned to a still life.
Ballard thought about Mandy and the prospects of her life. She then thought about Cecilia and wondered how she had lost any sort of prospect for happiness. Then Ballard thought about her own desperate beginnings. How did one child retain hope in the darkness and another come to believe it was gone forever?
Her phone buzzed and she answered. It was Lieutenant Washington and she immediately looked at the radio charger to see if she had left her rover behind somewhere. But it was there in its holder. Washington had chosen to call her rather than use the radio.
“L-T?”
“Ballard, where are you?”
“Headed to the house. About three blocks out. What’s up?”
“Dautre and Roberts were just in here. They told me about the girl.”
He had managed to mispronounce Dautre, making it sound more like doubter than daughter, and had missed Robards’s name altogether.
“What about her?” she said.
“I heard it was bad,” Washington said. “You confirm it was suicide?”
“I signed off on it. The parents were kind of hinky. The father is out of town. But I confirmed that. He’s where he said he was. I’ll turn it all over to West Bureau homicide for follow-up.”
“All right, well, I want to get you back here and get BSU out to talk to you three.”
Behavioral Science Unit. It meant psychological counseling. It was the last thing Ballard would want from the department. Half the department already thought she had fabricated sexual harassment allegations against a supervisor. That “unsubstantiated” investigation had resulted in her being forced into BSU sessions for a year. Adding another shrink sheet to her file would bring the other half in line with the popular belief. And that was before you even got to the double standard involving female cops. A male officer asking for counseling was courageous and strong; a female doing the same was just plain weak.
“Fuck that,” Ballard said. “I don’t want it.”
“Ballard, it was a bad scene,” Washington insisted. “I just got the details and it’s a fucking horror show. You gotta talk to somebody.”