Charles Putnam was waiting with the doctors at three p.m. when I arrived at his hotel suite. They all looked very grave. Even Putnam looked graver than usual.
“Mr. Victor,” the doctor in charge began, “I’m afraid we have serious news for you. The tests we took last night have all turned out positive.”
“Just what does that mean?” I wanted to know.
“It means that your condition is extraordinary, Mr. Victor.”
“Will you please stop talking in circles,” I told him, annoyed.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Victor. But I don’t know just how to put this. It’s very difficult.”
“Will you please just spit it out!”
“Of course, Mr. Victor,” One of the other doctors interrupted, “bizarre as the circumstances are, you’ve got nothing to worry about. You’re in excellent health.”
“Swell. So if my health is good, just exactly what the hell is the matter with me?”
The three doctors exchanged uncomfortable looks. Yet there was also something in their looks that was excited, almost elated, as if they’d stumbled on some rare microbe and knew that they would go down in the annals of medical history as the discoverers of it. The ambivalence of their feelings about me kept them tongue-tied. Finally, Putnam came to their rescue.
“I think, gentlemen,” he suggested, “that it might be best if you left me alone with Mr. Victor. Although I’m not a doctor, I think it might be best if I broke the news to him. In a way, I’m responsible for this condition.
One of the doctors did a double-take at that statement. He looked ashamed of himself when Putnam shot him a frosty look that said this was no time for appreciating the humor of unintentional innuendoes. The doctor hung his head and followed the other two as they started from the room.
“Wait a minute!” Putnam held up a small cage. “Take this with you.” There was a rabbit inside the cage. One of the doctors took it from him and they tramped out.
“All right, Putnam, now what the devil is this all about?” I asked him when we were alone.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Victor. I’m sorry I ever asked you to help us in this affair. I’m sorry I’m the one who involved you. I’m afraid I have placed you in a most untenable position.”
“Are you going to keep beating around the bush the way they did?” I demanded.
“No. My apologies. But as the doctor observed, this is quite difficult.”
“Why don’t you just say it!”
“Very well. Von Koerner’s weapon scored a direct hit on you, Mr. Victor. And it worked. It had the effect it was supposed to have. Soon that will be obvious to all who look at you.”
“Obvious how? What effect? What’s wrong with me?”
“Mr. Victor.” He took a deep breath. “You are pregnant.”
“I’m what?”
“Pregnant. That’s what Von Koerner’s weapon was designed to do. To make men pregnant. It was designed to incapacitate fighting men by striking at the very core of their masculinity. That little flashlight you saw was only a small model of a mammoth ray gun that was to have been built and aimed at entire countries without their knowing about it. The ray beamed at such countries would not affect women. That’s why a woman was initially assigned to this case, incidentally. But it was designed to effect certain genetic changes in men. These changes were instantaneous upon contact with the ray. And they brought about an equally instantaneous impregnation.”
“I don’t believe it.” I sat there stunned.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Victor. Remember the Cuban corpse in Miami that put us on Von Koerner’s trail? The autopsy disclosed that he was pregnant. That’s how we knew that Von Koerner must have been in the area. He was pregnant when he was killed. He was the only victim —until you.”
“I’m pregnant?” I was still dazed. “Are you sure?”
“That little rabbit doesn’t lie, Mr. Victor.” He said some more words designed to comfort me, but I don’t think I heard them. He assured me that the government would see to it that my necessary confinement would be carried out with the utmost secrecy. He stressed that the leading obstetrician in the country would be assigned to my case. He told me that I had every right to be proud and not ashamed of my impending motherhood—if such it could be called. Finally, he left me alone to absorb the shock of the news.
It was, I admit, quite a shock. I mean, it’s not an easy thing to learn that you’re about to become the world’s first unwed male mother. However, as my mind adjusted to it, I was able to see certain compensations. As the man from O.R.G.Y., this would provide me with a unique opportunity for investigation. I might at first hand consider the answers to such questions as how mothers-to-be sublimate their sex impulses. I might gain insight into the feelings engendered by the body growing gross and clumsy with child. Yes, I would be my own guinea pig, and there was no telling what important data I might accumulate during this nine—month caper.
I’ve managed to maintain that attitude these past months. And now, with my time growing short before the baby is due, I still approach giving birth with equanimity18 . I regret having missed out with Vickie. But aside from that, I have only one other regret:
My only regret is that I have but one child to bear for my country!
Unless, of course, it turns out to be twins.
Notes
[←1 ]
Although many scholars do not consider pornography an art form. Thus they explain the difference as eroticism is an art form while pornography is not, while both deal with sexuality.
[←2 ]
Bromo-Seltzer (acetaminophen, sodium bicarbonate, and citric acid), was a brand of antacid to relieve pain occurring together with heartburn, upset stomach, or acid indigestion. First produced by inventor Isaac E. Emerson's drug company of Baltimore, Maryland, in 1888, Bromo-Seltzer was sold in the United States in the form of effervescent granules which must be mixed with water before ingestion. (Wikipedia 2018)
[←3 ]
Jin Ping Mei — translated into English as The Plum in the Golden Vase or The Golden Lotus — is a Chinese novel of manners composed in vernacular Chinese during the late Ming Dynasty (1368–1644). The author took the pseudonym Lanling Xiaoxiao Sheng "The Scoffing Scholar of Lanling," and his identity is otherwise unknown. The novel circulated in manuscript as early as 1596, and may have undergone revision up to its first printed edition in 1610. The explicit depiction of sexuality garnered the novel a notoriety akin to Fanny Hill and Lolita in English literature.
[←4 ]
The story, ostensibly set during the years 1111–27, centers on Ximen Qing (or His-men Ch’ing), a corrupt social climber and lustful merchant who is wealthy enough to marry six wives and concubines. After Pan Jinlian secretly murders her husband, Ximen Qing takes her as one of his wives. The story follows the domestic sexual struggles of the women within his household as they clamor for prestige and influence amidst the gradual decline of the Ximen clan. Ximen Qing in the end dies from an overdose of aphrodisiacs administered by Jinlian in order to keep him aroused. In the course of the novel, Ximen has 19 sexual partners, including his 6 wives and mistresses. There are 72 detailed sexual episodes.
[←5 ]
The Vietnam War was a conflict that occurred in Vietnam, Laos, and Cambodia from 1 November 1955 to the fall of Saigon on 30 April 1975. It was fought between North Vietnam and the government of South Vietnam. The North Vietnamese army was supported by the Soviet Union, China and other communist allies and the South Vietnamese army was supported by the United States, South Korea, Australia, Thailand and other anti-communist allies. The Viet Cong also known as Front national de libération du Sud-Viêt Nam or FNL (Front National de Libération), aided by the North, fought a guerrilla war against anti-communist forces in the region, while the People's Army of Vietnam, also known as the North Vietnamese Army (NVA), engaged in more conventional warfare, at times committing large units to battle. As the war continued, the military actions of the Viet Cong decreased as the role and engagement of the NVA grew. U.S. and South Vietnamese forces relied on air superiority and overwhelming firepower to conduct search and destroy operations, involving ground forces, artillery, and airstrikes. In the course of the war, the U.S. conducted a large-scale strategic bombing campaign against North Vietnam, with huge civilian casualties. During the course of the Vietnam War a large segment of the American population came to be opposed to U.S. involvement in southeast Asia. Public opinion steadily turned against the war following 1967 and by 1970 only a third of Americans believed that the U.S. were justified in sending troops to fight in Vietnam. Nearly a third of the American population were strongly against the war, a position which lasted through subsequent decades. High-profile opposition to the Vietnam War increasingly turned to mass protests and draft-evasion in an effort to shift U.S. public opinion. Riots (accompanied by flag-burning) broke out at the 1968 Democratic National Convention during protests against the war. After news reports of American military abuses such as the 1968 My Lai Massacre, brought new attention and support to the anti-war movement, some veterans joined Vietnam Veterans Against the War. On 15 October 1969, the Vietnam Moratorium attracted millions of Americans. The fatal shooting of four students at Kent State University in 1970 led to nationwide university protests. Anti-war protests declined with the final withdrawal of troops after the Paris Peace Accords in 1973.