‘What does that matter? You wouldn’t willingly make love to me.’
‘Who says?’ she said, in a steady voice. And at the same time, she thought: would I? Could I? God, I sound like Barbra Streisand. But then she looked intently at his beautiful face and thought: I could, as a matter of fact. Plenty of women have lovers who are amputees or very special people. Even Prince Randian the Human Torso was married and had four children.
‘You would try to kill me,’ said Brother Albrecht.
‘What?’
‘You would try to make my blood boil, the same way you made my harlequin’s blood boil. That’s what you’re here for, isn’t it? You don’t find me alluring at all. But you would be prepared to make love to me, just to slide those long fingernails of yours into my skin. Aber Sie konnten mich nicht töten. Ich bin nicht der selbe wie Sie. Ich nicht sogar komme von der Welt von Träumen.’
‘What did you say? I don’t understand Krautish.’
‘I said that you cannot kill me, Xyrena. I am not the same as you. I am not even from the world of dreams. I was sent here by God as a punishment, but I ended up being punished far more harshly than I ever imagined possible. I can never forgive that.’
Xyrena said, ‘I wasn’t going to kill you, anyway. You’re too beautiful to kill.
For the first time, she saw uncertainty in Brother Albrecht’s eyes.
‘We’ve tried all of our best weapons,’ she said. ‘Dom Magator even fired his Absence Gun at you, which is supposed to stop you having ever existed. But I thought, maybe you do have a heart, underneath all of that rage and all of that cruelty and all of those tattoos.
‘And then I saw your face as close as this, and I thought, in spite of everything, maybe this man needs only one thing to change him back to what he once was. You were a man of God once. You were a lover once. You could be those again, if you could find somebody to love you for who you are.’
Brother Albrecht said, ‘You’re lying to me, Xyrena. You’re trying to deceive me. You could never love me.’
She rested the palm of her hand between his legs, and squeezed him very gently, and looked intently into his eyes. ‘I could — and if you want me to, I will. But I need to see the true Brother Albrecht. I need to see you for who you really are. I need to see what you’ve been denying for eight hundred years.’
‘I can’t. I’ve hurt and mutilated too many hundreds of people, all in the name of my own anger. Look at this circus! Look at these freaks! Look at these clowns! Nobody could forgive me for all this!’
‘Me,’ said Xyrena. ‘I can. If you’re not the same as me, and you don’t come from the world of dreams, then show me who you really are.’
Brother Albrecht’s nostrils flared with passion and lust. ‘I can’t! It’s impossible! I can’t!’
‘Then I’ll go, shall I?’ said Xyrena. ‘I’ll let you take your circus through to the waking world, and cause even more havoc, and even more pain, and even more killings. I just wonder what your Lisbeth would have said had she ever known what you would do.’
She turned away from him. All of the hundreds of people in the big top were standing silently, staring at her — even Mago Verde and the ringmaster.
‘What have you done, you slut?’ said Mago Verde, his voice quaking. ‘What have you done?’
‘I’ve tried the only weapon against Brother Albrecht that I thought might work.’ said Xyrena. ‘Now why don’t you get on with your sacrifice, you ghoul?’
‘What have you done?’ he screamed. ‘What have you fucking done?’
Xyrena gradually became aware that the faces of the people who were staring at her were becoming more and more brightly illuminated. She could see reflections in the visors of the Night Warriors’ helmets, and on Jekkalon and Jemexxa’s black and silver suits. Within a few seconds, the whole interior of the big top was lit up so intensely that by comparison the chandeliers looked dim.
She turned around. Behind her, a tall figure of a man was standing, but a man so dazzling that she had to shield her eyes with her hand. Although she was almost blinded, she recognized his face. It was Brother Albrecht, as beautiful as ever, but now the wild flowers had blown from his hair and he was crowned instead with scintillating sparks, rather like the crown that she herself was wearing.
He was wearing a golden robe that matched her golden cloak, and his arms were spread wide. His arms were whole again, and his legs had been restored, and the demonic tattoos had all been bleached from his body. Now Xyrena was sure what he was.
The whole of the big top was filled with a high singing sound that was barely audible to human ears, and every chandelier was jangling with its resonance.
Dom Magator stepped forward and put his arm around Xyrena’s waist. ‘You did it,’ he said. ‘I don’t know how you did it, but you did it.’
‘I told him I could love him, that’s all. Don’t you understand? He’s an angel. That’s why the Absence Gun didn’t work on him. He was never born in the same way that you and me were born. You can’t reverse something that never happened. But give him love — that’s something different. God didn’t love him any more. He lost the woman he loved. That’s why he was always so vengeful.’
Brother Albrecht reached out his hand. ‘Are you prepared to come with me, Xyrena, and love me?’
‘Where?’ asked Xyrena, but she already knew the answer to that.
Dom Magator said, ‘I can’t ask you to do this, Rhodajane. You can’t sacrifice yourself for the rest of us.’
Xyrena looked at him and smiled. ‘Yes, I can. And how much of a sacrifice are we talking about? Heaven has to be better than Cleveland.’
Zebenjo’Yyx came up to her now and held her tight. ‘You had the best weapon of all of us, all the time, didn’t you, sweet cheeks, and Springer knew that. You was the only one among us who could bring this full circle.’
Jekkalon and Jemexxa hugged her, too. ‘Thank you, Rhodajane. We’re never going to forget you, ever.’
‘What about the circus?’ screamed Mago Verde. ‘Albrecht, you treacherous bastard! What about the circus? What about me?’
Brother Albrecht raised both arms. Shafts of bright light radiated from his outstretched hands like a brilliant sunrise. ‘The circus is over,’ he said. ‘The tents are struck. The dreamer awakes.’
He took hold of Xyrena’s hand and drew her toward him. He put his arms around her, and kissed her, and then they slowly streamed upward toward the roof of the tent, more like a shining golden fountain than two people embracing each other.
The roof of the tent opened up like the petals of a huge black flower. Brother Albrecht and Xyrena rose up into the purple sky, and with a last scintillating glitter they were gone.
There was a moment’s silence. Then, with a soft thunderous sound, the big top started to collapse. The audience screamed and panicked and rushed for the exits, but even as they struggled to escape they began to disappear. Brother Albrecht’s dream was over and they were waking up, too.
Tonnes of black canvas dropped on top of the stage, drowning the clowns and the freaks and the circus hands like a huge black tidal wave. Jekkalon tried to battle against it, shouting out, ‘Mom! Mom! Mom — where are you? Mom!’ Dom Magator grabbed his arm and shouted, ‘It’s too late, Jekkalon! It’s all over! There’s nothing you can do!’
‘But that’s our mom!’
‘She died, Jekkalon. She died a long time ago. We need to get out of here before Mickey Veralnik wakes up.’