Two more vampires came through the door, walking onto the carpet in normal fashion. The woman was the petite brunette we’d seen earlier at the El Pingüino lounge. A padded-shoulder leather motorcycle jacket covered her torso, giving her a muscular, intimidating appearance. The man was older and thin. His close-cropped gray hair started from a well-defined widow’s peak.
Bob welcomed him. “Andre. Sorry I couldn’t tell you more over the phone. We just got here ourselves.”
They made introductions among us all. Andre spoke in a heavy accent. Carmen, the vampire woman, unzipped her jacket and displayed the cleavage within her leather halter-top. Dan Sky-Pony, the vampire on the ceiling, let his cowboy boots swing down and he hung for an instant by his fingertips before dropping to the floor. He paced around the female chalice and caressed her head as he licked his lips.
Bob picked up Ziggy’s head and pushed the upper lip back to reveal holes in the jaw where the incisors had been pried out. “Vânätori de vampir. This was a ritual killing, and they’ve taken his fangs as proof.”
Andre stroked his face in a gesture I’d describe as nervous. His eyes flitted from side to side as if looking for something the rest of us hadn’t seen.
“You okay, Andre?” Bob asked. “You look…”
Scared, I thought.
“I’m fine,” Andre blurted. He coughed to mask a glint of embarrassment. Vampires aren’t supposed to show fear.
Dan stood over the body. “I can’t figure how this happened. Ziggy hasn’t lived this long by being careless.”
“I’m not so sure,” I interrupted. “Remember how he scoffed when you first brought up the question of the vampire hunters. I think maybe he did get careless.”
“Or maybe it was someone trying to make it look like vampire hunters,” Wendy said.
“What do we know about these vânätori?” Carmen asked.
“Very little, unfortunately,” Bob answered.
“So what do we do?” Sky-Pony asked.
Bob took Ziggy’s head and cradled it under his arm like a basketball. “Learn more. Stay alert.”
Carmen pointed to the corpse as if it were a heap of misplaced trash. “What about that?”
“The usual means of disposal. Solar immolation.” Bob studied the layout of the den. A large bay window faced east across an open yard. “This place is perfect.”
He told the chalices, “Find a tarp or a shower curtain.” Bob dragged his shoe through the flaked vampire blood on the carpet. “And a vacuum cleaner.”
The female chalice returned with a shower curtain, a plastic one of yellow and blue stripes. The male chalice found a Hoover upright in the closet.
We pulled Ziggy’s corpse to the middle of the curtain, which we then dragged against the wall. Bob had the female chalice strip the body. He ordered the male chalice to vacuum the dried blood and clean the wall.
“We’ll spackle and paint the holes later.”
Carmen took Ziggy’s Tag Heuer watch and wallet. Wendy bundled the clothes and shoved them into a plastic garbage bag.
Using the shower curtain, we dragged the corpse to the middle of the room and arranged the body so the feet pointed toward the bay window. Bob set the head upright by the neck.
As a final touch, Wendy bent over and adjusted the scrotum and penis. “Wouldn’t want Ziggy to be uncomfortable.”
Carmen and Sky-Pony shared a pack of cigarettes and lit up. She tapped her toe and exhaled a jet of smoke. “So we have to wait here till morning?”
“Patience. When morning comes, we’ll divide the spoils.” Bob tipped his head toward the chalices. “You’ll enjoy it.”
Bob and Andre rummaged in the kitchen, collecting food for an impromptu wake. Bob cooked steaks, hash browns, and corn on the cob. Like every modern vampire, Ziggy kept jars of animal blood in his refrigerator. Sky-Pony and Carmen went to the bar on the opposite side of the den. One of them found the stereo and played jazz. Carmen made drinks. Andre took a paring knife and sliced the arm of the female chalice and ordered her go to every one of us and offer blood as if she were dispensing gravy. I declined the offer.
We lounged in the den, ate dinner, and sipped drinks. Andre chuckled as he recited vampire anecdotes in his bad English, much of which Bob had to translate.
Wendy and I shared Manhattans. With the rye whiskey seeping into our bloodstreams, she and I set our plates aside on the coffee table. She kicked off her shoes and, before I could protest, climbed into my lap and rested her head on my shoulder. Wendy’s body settled against mine. She didn’t weigh much, a hundred pounds maybe. Her green aura softened and pulsated in tempo to the low purr coming from her throat.
Where our auras overlapped, my orange and her green took on an iridescent shine, something I’d never witnessed. Then again, I’d never had a dryad sit on my lap.
Wendy didn’t ask to impose on me. She simply assumed that I wanted her close. Which I did. Problem was, I didn’t want to admit my desire to her…or myself.
Wendy wove her fingers into mine and snuggled against my neck. My aura grew brighter and other things stirred. Sky-Pony tapped Carmen on the knee and then pointed to me.
Was I the first vampire ever to feel embarrassment? We were fearsome killers, rapacious as wolves, and yet at this moment, I, Felix the vampire, felt as awkward as a schoolboy at a dance.
Wendy whispered into my ear. “I can slide off you. Just say the word.”
I didn’t.
After a moment, she brushed her lips against my cheek. “I knew you wouldn’t.”
Bob turned on the TV by the bar and switched to the Weather Channel. Sunrise was to be 6:27.
The other vampires searched Ziggy’s room and brought out a tray of Dermablend and sunblock, which we gooped on. At 6:00 A.M. we put on our sunglasses.
Carmen opened the blinds on the bay window. We vampires tucked ourselves into the shadows of the den. The dawn sky lightened, turning from black to purple, and now to blue. The rays of the sun peeked over the roof of the house on the other side of the yard. The sunbeam splashed against the wall. Minute by minute, the beam widened and scrolled down toward Ziggy.
When the sunbeam touched Ziggy’s head, his skin wrinkled and smoldered. The stench of burning, rancid meat smacked us like a wave. The sun’s rays lapped down Ziggy’s body like a ravenous tongue of fire. His flesh turned black. Smoke curled against the ceiling.
The smoke detector went off. Centuries of death held at bay reclaimed Ziggy’s corpse. His charred body collapsed into a pile of ash. Carmen closed the blinds. We took off our sunglasses. Sky-Pony crawled up the wall and yanked out the smoke detector’s battery to silence the wail. The chalices started to cry again.
“How do we explain Ziggy’s disappearance?” I asked.
Bob replied, “The Araneum will arrange it that he died of ‘natural causes’ while vacationing in Panama. We’ll appoint someone to take care of his estate. Now to clean this mess.”
We lifted the shower curtain by the corners and carefully poured the ash into a garbage bag.
“What would happen if we added water?” Carmen joked. “Would we get instant vampire?”
“Yuck,” Sky-Pony said. “I don’t even like instant coffee.”
A garbage bag filled with ash and another bag stuffed with his clothes, this was all that was left of Ziggy.
“You vampires aren’t very sentimental,” Wendy said.
“I doubt Hallmark makes a card for this,” Bob replied.
Carmen stepped behind the female chalice. “Now that we’ve finished our janitorial duties, time for the vampire initiation. As reward for your loyalty, welcome to the ranks of the damned.”