The commissaire peers over the young man’s shoulder to see where he’s got to. He whispers some instructions. Three policemen suddenly appear. Perhaps they’re going to take us to the cells. I couldn’t care less. No. The commissaire looks me in the eye:
‘Well? Nothing you want to say?’
My father gives a plaintive whimper.
‘Very well, gentlemen, you may go. .’
We walked blindly. I didn’t dare ask him for an explanation. It was on the Place des Ternes, as I stared at the neon sign of the Brasserie Lorraine, that I said in as neutral a tone as possible:
‘Basically, you tried to kill me. .’
He didn’t answer. I was afraid he would take fright, like a bird when you get too close.
‘I don’t hold it against you, you know.’
And nodding towards the terrace of the bar:
‘Why don’t we have a drink? This calls for a celebration!’
This last remark made him smile a little. When we reached the cafe table, he was careful not to sit facing me. His posture was the same as it had been in the police van: his shoulders hunched, his head bowed. I ordered a double bourbon for him, knowing how much he liked it, and a glass of champagne for myself. We raised our glasses. But our hearts weren’t in it. After the unfortunate incident in the métro, I would have liked to set the record straight. It was impossible. He revisited with such inertia that I decided not to insist.
At the other tables, there were lively conversations. People were delighted at the mild weather. They felt relaxed. And happy to be alive. And I was seventeen years old, my father had tried to push me under a train, and no one cared.
We had a last drink on the Avenue Niel, in that strange bar, Petrissan’s. An elderly man staggered in, sat down at our table and started talking to me about Wrangel’s Fleet. From what I could gather, he had served with Wrangel. It must have brought back painful memories, because he started to sob. He didn’t want us to leave. He clung to my arm. Maudlin and excitable, as Russians tend to be after midnight.
The three of us were walking down the street towards the Place des Ternes, my father a few yards ahead, as though ashamed to find himself in such miserable company. He quickened his pace and I saw him disappear into the métro. I thought that I would never see him again. In fact, I was convinced of it.
The old veteran gripped my arm, sobbed on my shoulder. We sat on a bench on the Avenue de Wagram. He was determined to recount in detail about the ‘terrible ordeal’ of the White Army, their flight towards Turkey. Eventually these heroes had washed up in Constantinople, in their ornate uniforms. What a terrible shame! General Baron Wrangel, apparently, was more than six foot six.
You haven’t changed much. Just now, when you came into the Clos-Foucré, you shambled exactly as you did ten years ago. You sat down opposite me and I was about to order you a double bourbon, but I thought it would be out of place. Did you recognise me? It’s impossible to tell with you. What would be the point of shaking your shoulders, bombarding you with questions? I don’t know if you’re worth the interest I take in you.
One day, I suddenly decided to come looking for you. I was in pretty low spirits. It has to be said that things were taking a worrying turn and that there was a stink of disaster in the air. We were living in ‘strange times’. Nothing to hold on to. Then I remembered I had a father. Of course I often thought about ‘the unfortunate incident in the George V métro’, but I didn’t harbour a grudge. There are some people you can forgive anything. Ten years had passed. What had become of you? Maybe you needed me.
I asked tea-room waitresses, barmen and hotel porters. It was Francois, at the Silver Ring, who put me on your trail. You went about — it appeared — with a merry band of night revellers whose leading lights were Messieurs Murraille and Marcheret. If the latter name meant nothing to me, I knew the former by reputation: a hack journalist given to blackmail and bribery. A week later, I watched you all go into a restaurant on the Avenue Kléber. I hope you’ll forgive my curiosity, but I sat at the table next to yours. I was excited at having found you and intended to tap you on the shoulder, but gave up on the idea when I saw your friends. Murraille was sitting on your left and, at a glance, I found his sartorial elegance was suspect. You could see he was trying to ‘cut a dash’. Marcheret was saying to all and sundry that ‘the foie gras was inedible’. And I remember a red-haired woman and a curly-haired blonde, both oozing moral squalor from every pore. And, I am sorry to say, you didn’t exactly look to be at your best. (Was it the Brylcreemed hair, that haunted look?) I felt slightly sick at the sight of you and your ‘friends’. The curly-haired blonde was ostentatiously waving banknotes, the red-haired woman was rudely haranguing the head waiter and Marcheret was making his rude jokes. (I got used to them later.) Murraille spoke of his country house, where it was ‘so pleasant to spend the weekend’. I eventually gathered that this little group went there every week. That you were one of them. I couldn’t resist the idea of joining you in this charming rustic retreat.
And now that we are sitting face to face like china dogs and I can study your great Levantine head at leisure, I AM AFRAID. What are you doing in this village in the Seine-et-Marne with these people? And how exactly did you get to know them? I must really love you to follow you along this treacherous path. And without the slightest acknowledgement from you! Maybe I’m wrong, but your position seems to me to be very precarious. I assume you’re still a stateless person, which is extremely awkward ‘in the times we live in’. I’ve lost my identity papers too, everything except the ‘diploma’ to which you attached so much importance and which means so little today as we experience an unprecedented ‘crisis of values’. Whatever it takes, I will try to stay calm.
Marcheret. He claps you on the back and calls you ‘Chalva, old man’. And to me: ‘Good evening, Monsieur Alexandre, will you have an Americano?’ — and I’m forced to drink this sickly cocktail in case he takes offence. I’d like to know what your business is with this ex-Legionary. A currency racket? The sort of stock market scams you used to make? ‘And two more Americanos!’ he yells at Grève, the maître d’hotel. Then turning to me: ‘Slips down like mother’s milk, doesn’t it?’ I drink it down, terrified. Beneath his joviality, I suspect that he is particularly dangerous. It’s a pity that our relationship, yours and mine, doesn’t extend beyond strict politeness, because otherwise I’d warn you about this guy. And about Murraille. You’re wrong to hang around with such people, ‘papa’. They’ll end up doing you a nasty turn. Will I have the strength to play my role as guardian angel to the bitter end? I don’t get any encouragement from you. I scan your face for a friendly look or gesture (even if you don’t recognize me, you might at least notice me), but nothing disturbs your Ottoman indifference. I ask myself what I’m doing here. All these drinks are ruining my health, for a start. And the pseudo-rustic décor depresses me terribly. Marcheret makes me promise to try a ‘Pink Lady’, whose subtle pleasures he introduced to ‘all his Bouss-Bir friends’. I’m afraid he’s going to start talking about the Legion and his malaria again. But no. He turns to you:
‘Well, have you thought about it, Chalva?’
You answer in an almost inaudible voice:
‘Yes, I’ve thought about it, Guy.’
‘We’ll split it fifty-fifty?’
‘You can count on me, Guy.’