Toscanini noticed two of the ship’s officers standing at either end of the deck, scanning the skies with binoculars. They were keeping watch for German warplanes, he realised, which might appear at any moment, spewing bullets and bombs. He felt sick. Grasping his cane, he stumbled down the companionway.
In their cabin that evening, Masha and Rachel Morgenstern were exchanging confidences as they prepared for dinner. There was much about one another that they did not as yet know, but they wanted very much to be friends, intimate with each other.
‘Have you ever been in love?’ Masha asked Rachel shyly.
‘I can see from your face that you have, my dear cousin.’
Disconcerted, Masha turned her back quickly on Rachel. ‘Can you fasten my hooks?’
Rachel smiled to herself ironically as she obliged her cousin. ‘Who is it? Some nice, serious young man selected by Rabbi Moskovitz?’
‘Not exactly.’
Rachel could see the skin at the back of Masha’s neck flushing pink among the soft curls. ‘Not exactly? What, exactly? Don’t keep me in suspense.’
When Masha turned, the flush had spread all across her pretty face. ‘It’s not much of a story.’
‘I am breathless with anticipation,’ Rachel replied. ‘I must know everything.’
Masha sat on the bunk, laughing awkwardly. ‘You’ll be very disappointed then, because it all came to nothing. I’m too ashamed to even tell you.’
‘Do you want me to resort to Gestapo methods?’
Masha clasped her hands in her lap. ‘Well, then. When I was seventeen, I had a beau.’
‘I knew it! Proceed.’
‘He was a young man called Rudi Hufnagel. He was in the Navy, in the Ubootwaffe. He came to see me every weekend in Berlin.’
Rachel raised her eyebrows. ‘A Gentile?’
‘An Aryan.’
‘What did your parents say?’
‘At first they were all against it. But Rudi was so polite, so charming – and so glamorous in his uniform! He had been all over the world, even to America. I think they fell in love with him quite as deeply as I did.’
‘He must indeed have been a seductive fellow,’ Rachel said dryly.
‘Oh, no, you have the wrong idea completely. He was absolutely honourable.’
‘He didn’t take you to bed?’
‘How can you ask me such a thing?’ Masha demanded indignantly.
‘Well, it has been known,’ Rachel said, ‘from time to time in human history.’
‘That was not the case with us!’
‘Not even a stolen kiss?’
Masha’s stiff expression softened. ‘Of course there were kisses.’
‘And cuddles?’
‘And cuddles,’ Masha conceded.
Rachel sat next to her younger cousin. ‘Now we’re getting to it. How far did you go?’
‘Really, Rachel, you ask the most dreadful questions!’
‘Oh, come on. You can tell me. I’m not the rabbi.’
Masha’s face was flushed, her eyes shining. Rachel thought she had seldom seen a prettier young woman. ‘There was one evening…’
‘Yes?’
‘Rudi got us a box at the opera,’ Masha said softly. ‘Just the two of us, in the dark, hidden by the velvet curtain, and the music so lovely. And—’
‘And?’
Her voice was almost inaudible. ‘He put his hands—’
‘Where did he put his hands?’ Rachel enquired, eagerly leaning forward.
‘He put his hands everywhere,’ Masha whispered.
‘Good boy,’ Rachel said, half-closing her eyes as though inhaling some fine perfume. ‘Did he know what he was doing?’
‘Of course.’
‘Those Navy men are always reliable.’
‘Oh, Rachel, it was divine!’ Masha exclaimed. Her reticence had gone completely. ‘I’ve never known such feelings!’
‘Better than listening to Stravinsky’s Rite of Spring?’
‘Quite, quite different,’ she said firmly. ‘He took me to heaven.’
‘So it didn’t feel like the electric chair?’
‘If you laugh at me, I shan’t say another word.’
‘Forgive me. I know I am on sacred ground.’ Rachel was smiling, but tenderly. ‘However, you can’t tell me that after such a divine night at the opera you never repeated the experiment?’
‘Perhaps once or twice,’ Masha admitted, lowering her eyes. ‘You must understand that I fancied myself very much in love.’
‘It sounds like more than just fancy,’ Rachel said gently.
‘The difficulty was in finding places,’ Masha confided.
‘It always is. But you managed?’
‘We went out together every weekend, to the Zoo or to the Ku-Damm, sometimes to concerts or plays. If we got the chance, we would kiss and hold each other and—’
‘And do what lovers do.’
‘Yes. When my friends saw me on his arm I felt I would burst with pride. The Navy dress uniform is very smart, you know. Dark blue, with gold buttons—’
‘Very uncomfortable at the wrong moment, I’m sure.’
‘—the gold silk eagle on the breast, the braid on the cuffs—’
‘Never mind the uniform. Stick with what was inside.’
‘We told each other we would get married when he got his Captain’s sword.’
‘Despite the race laws?’
‘Despite everything. The race laws weren’t being strictly enforced yet. It was 1936. Rudi was sure we would get permission to marry because he was a submarine officer. We were floating on champagne. Two silly fools with stars in our eyes.’
‘What happened?’
‘It was silly, at first. We started to notice that there were two men always following us around the town. Not just once or twice, but everywhere we went. Rudi was amused. He called them the Two Eggs because they were so alike. He liked to mock them, pretending to make their life easier by saying in a loud voice, “Come on, Masha, let’s go and have a cocktail at the Kempinski.” Or, “Let’s go and see the new American picture at the Universum.” And then, sure enough, we would find them there when we arrived. He thought it was funny.’
Rachel watched Masha’s face. ‘Weren’t you afraid?’
‘I don’t think I was, because Rudi took it as a joke. He said they were civilians and he wasn’t afraid of any civilian. And I always felt so safe with him. I didn’t think anything could happen to us. We just carried on as usual. We didn’t try to hide anything. Rudi was very gallant. He always took my arm in public. He let everyone know that we were together, that he was proud of me.’
‘That was perhaps not very prudent of him.’
‘Perhaps not. But we were not in a mood to be prudent. We didn’t think we were doing anything wrong.’ Masha’s face changed. ‘And then one day the police came to our house and hammered on the door and ordered me to present myself at the station for questioning.’ She was silent for a moment. ‘I suppose I knew in that moment that it was all over, but I was too infatuated to accept it at first. I went down to the station with my head held high. They kept me waiting for hours, sitting on a hard chair. I could hear things happening in the cells below – beatings, men calling out for mercy. It was horrible. At last an officer came to see me. His head shaved almost to the crown, a black leather coat. You know the type.’
‘I know the type,’ Rachel said briefly.
‘He had a thick folder full of our movements, going back weeks. The Two Eggs had written down every single detail. He demanded to know if we had been to this place together, and that place, and the other place, on and on. I said I didn’t deny any of it. He asked if I were not Jewish. I said that of course I was. He asked why Rudi would associate with a Jewish girl when there were so many Aryan girls to be had. I laughed in his face and answered that if all Aryan girls were blonde and pretty, the way they were supposed to be, then I presumed Rudi would have chosen one of them.’