I can feel Steph and Kayla exchanging a look behind my back.
Later in the car as we drive down Van Ness, Kayla taps me on the shoulder from the backseat. “Why do you think he’s a jackass?”
I blow a piece of hair that came loose from my bun. “Because…he’s a manwhore.”
“That doesn’t make him a jackass. That makes him fun.”
Which makes me “no fun,” I think, remembering what he’d said to me at the wedding.
“I just don’t trust guys like that,” I tell her after a moment.
“But you’re not dating him,” she says. “So you don’t have to worry about that, do you?”
I shake my head. “You’re right. I don’t.” And really, I shouldn’t. But that night plays over and over in my head, the sweet feel of his lips, the sharp sting of rejection. It probably doesn’t help that the last man I kissed, the last person who turned me on and made me feeling something, instead of nothing, was Bram.
Once you go Bram, you won’t give a damn. But I did.
“Why all the questions Kayla?” Steph asks, her tone cautious as she eyes her in the rearview mirror.
“I can ask questions,” Kayla says.
“Mmm hmm. But you’ve got that look in your eyes.”
“What look? I’m Asian, you racist.”
“Shut up,” Steph says. “You know the look. The one you get when you find your next lay.”
Oh? I turn in my seat and look at Kayla. Yup, she’s got that look.
“Are you interested in Bram?” I ask her. Kayla had broken off her engagement with her ex-boyfriend a couple of years ago and now was always perpetually single but not for lack of trying. Any hot bod and she’s all over it. She even had a fling with Linden for a few weeks back in the day when Steph and him were just good friends. I’m not sure how Steph dealt with that but she doesn’t hold a grudge like I do.
Kayla shrugs casually but I can see right through her. “I don’t know. He’s just really hot, that’s all. And he’s got money. And he’s got that bad boy appeal but like the ante is upped because he’s a man, not a boy. I mean, now that’s a man. Like if you hooked up, he’d probably ruin your vagina for everyone after.”
I scrunch up my nose. “Way to be classy.”
“Yeah, Kayla, that’s my brother-in-law you’re talking about,” Steph admonishes her.
“So,” she says. “You’re not blood relatives. You told me you thought his brother was hot.”
“I did. But he’s not Linden.”
Kayla rolls her eyes and flops back into her seat. “Of course he’s not Linden. How dare anyone be even close to Linden?” she says mockingly. “You know, Steph, just because you’re married doesn’t make you blind.”
“Sure, but I don’t try and think of Bram as hot. Still, you’re right. He is. And if you don’t mind being played, then go right ahead and have your fun,” she says. “But don’t come crying to me if it doesn’t work out and don’t you dare fuck anything up with the nice relationship everyone has at the moment. You know you’ve done that once before,” she adds under her breath.
Ah, so Steph hasn’t forgotten the whole Linden and Kayla hookup.
Kayla grows quiet. We drive for a bit then she says, “Fine. I guess one McGregor brother was enough for me.”
I snap my head back at her and find Kayla grinning wickedly. Steph’s hands are growing white on the steering wheel. I feel like we’re seconds away from a catfight and I start wondering what I’ll do to try and break them apart. I’ve got strong arms from lifting Ava and booster seats.
But Kayla bursts out laughing and smacks Steph on the shoulder. “I’m fucking kidding! Jeez, can’t we joke about the past anymore?”
Steph gives her a dirty look. “Things change when you get married.”
“And that’s why I cancelled my wedding,” Kayla says. “I wasn’t ready for that. But you and Linden are. And don’t worry, I’m not going to go near Bram.” She looks at me. “He’s all yours.”
“Mine?” First of all, Bram isn’t anything of mine except for a landlord now, and second of all…I dunno. I don’t exactly appreciate being told I can have something as if I wouldn’t have had a chance with Bram if Kayla went after him.
I can feel Steph’s eyes dart between me and the road. “Nuh uh,” Steph says. “Nicola needs a nice guy. And while Bram is generous – I mean, he’s really stepped up his game lately as we all know – he’d chew her up and spit her out.”
“Might be fun to be chewed up, though,” Kayla says.
I wish that thought hadn’t already crossed my mind.
Finally we arrive at the apartment building and everything is so surreal. I realize it has in no way sunk in that I’ve moved to this place. I mean, the building isn’t anything special. It’s two stories with bump-out windows typical of the city and this pinkish taupe color that Bram says he’s going to have painted cobalt blue in a few weeks. But even though it’s on the old side, it’s clean and renovated. The small lobby has art deco-style tiles. There are no bars on the doors. People have doormats outside their doors and there are vivid watercolor paintings of the city in the halls.
My apartment is even better. It’s on the second floor and it’s a two-bedroom. Both of the bedrooms are barely big enough for a bed, but still, it means Ava can have her own space, something I know would make her really excited. I can’t wait until later tonight when my mom drops her off and she gets to see the place. We hadn’t had the time to check it out until now.
The kitchen is darling as well with white subway tiles and gleaming appliances and a window over the sink that looks down into the palm trees in the backyard that runs the length of the property. The city skyline stretches in the background, from the Transamerica Pyramid to the Top of the Mark. There are hardwood floors in all room and crown moldings on the walls. It’s absolutely gorgeous and perfectly me.
However, the moving in and unpacking seems to take longer than moving out, maybe because now that I’m here I am so damn excited that I can’t wait to start decorating and get everything in its perfect place. My furniture looks kind of shabby, and no longer in that chic way, so maybe when I get some money I can head up to IKEA as well.
Everyone is exhausted after the move and I wish I could buy them beer and pizza but Kayla is shunning carbs at the moment and Steph won’t let me spend my money. Bram disappears into his apartment – right next door, the corner unit – and comes out with a bottle of champagne and a six-pack. We all pull up a box and sit around, talking, drinking and stretching our aching muscles.
Eventually, Steph and Linden are the last to leave. It’s just me and Bram in my apartment now, which I guess is his apartment, and it’s at least another hour until my mom and Ava get here.
“So,” he says, folding his arms across his wide chest and standing, his legs askance. He surveys the living room, which is a disaster zone of boxes and furniture. “This is going to be your home.”
“Until I get back on my feet,” I quickly remind him as I lean back against the kitchen counter.
“Well, I was under the impression that you’d pay rent as soon as you get on your feet. Doesn’t mean you have to leave. I mean, you like it here, don’t you?”
“I just got here.”
He eyes me suspiciously. “You’re having a hard time with this, aren’t you?”
“What?” I ask, hoping my face looks surprised.
He gestures to the room. “This whole arrangement. I really wish you’d learn to trust me.”
“I do trust you,” I say, then correct myself. “I think. But I barely know you.”
He takes a few steps forward and I find myself inching up against the counter. There’s a heated look in his eyes that makes me worried. “Well, don’t worry, sweetheart, you’re going to get to know me pretty well, whether you like it or not. We’re neighbors now, above anything else. You need a cup of sugar for your baking, come knock on my door. You need a roll of toilet paper, come knock on my door. You get caught up with some knob in the heat of the moment and you need a condom, come knock on my door. I have plenty.” He squints at me. “You do have sex, don’t you?”