“Fire someone,” I suggest.
“Bram,” Linden warns. “Don’t get all embroiled in someone else’s business. You have your own to attend to, brother.”
“Well, Jenny isn’t exactly working out,” James admits. “I mean, she’s efficient and dependable but the more she works here, the more she thinks men are responsible for the doom of civilization. I can’t have a conversation with her unless some weird sector of feminism is brought up.”
“She does work here though,” Linden points out. “You can’t really blame her.”
“Like I said, fire her,” I say.
“I’ll give it time,” James says. “I hate to sound like a douche, but I just don’t know how reliable single moms can be.”
For some reason the comment makes my veins feel black and poisonous, like squid ink.
“She’s reliable,” I tell him, my voice stern. “I’m her damn landlord, I know she is.”
He gives me a look, the look that doesn’t take me seriously whatsoever. I should be used to that. “She doesn’t pay you rent. So you can’t really compare. Look, I like Nicola and I think she’s great, but what if something happens to her kid. We all know she’s sick. She could have a problem and then Nicola would have to up and leave.”
“Well, if you’re going to look at it that way, Jen Jen or whatever her name is, could have a flat tire on the way to work, or get food poisoning, or hell, just play hooky for a day. Anyone could. Having a damn kid doesn’t make you any less dependable. Don’t you think she needs this fucking job?”
“Easy brother,” Linden says, putting his hand on my shoulder. “Just finish your ego drink and relax. James is just speculating. He’ll help Nicola as much as he can, right James?”
James nods, looking a bit weirded out, like he thought I was going to punch him or something. “Definitely. I’ll help.” Then he backs away and disappears around the other side of the bar.
“Scares easy, doesn’t he?” I ask Linden.
“Does he ever,” he says with a sigh, then finishes the rest of his Anchor Steam. He gives me a discerning look. “What are you really doing here?”
I shrug and take a sip of my drink, pretending my mouth isn’t on fire. I have a sudden notion of cooling it off with an ice cube and then my mind wanders over to Nicola, wondering if she’d squirm if poured the spicy drink over her breasts then rubbed my ice cold tongue on them after.
“Oh, I see,” Linden says and I immediately snap my attention to him.
“What?”
He jerks his chin down the bar at Nicola. “You’re here for her.”
“I guess I want to see if she’ll eventually pay me rent.”
A slow smile spreads across my brother’s face and he shakes his head in disbelief. “No you don’t. You’d let her live there forever rent free, I reckon.”
“Is that so?” I challenge but I’m afraid he might be right.
“Whatever happened to my brother who moved out West, wanting to invest his money and make a name for himself, step out from under our parent’s shadow?”
“I’m still him, you half-wit,” I tell him, hating that he’s got the power to get under my skin sometimes. It doesn’t help that both of us can bring the other down with the mere mention of our mum and dad. “There’s nothing wrong with trying to be a good Samaritan. You were the one always harping on me about being a selfish lout, doing nothing with myself. Now I am doing something and one of those things happens to be a good deed.”
“Oh, there’s nothing wrong with the deed. I want Nicola helped out as much as the next person, especially for Steph’s sake. Those two are pretty close, even more so since we got hitched. I guess having babies or getting married brings you into the next step of the maturity club. But you can’t pretend you don’t have ulterior motives.” He jabs his finger in my face. “You can’t pass this all like you’re interested in charity. You’re losing money here, brother.”
The funny thing is I am interested in charity but there’s no use in telling my brother that. He doesn’t listen to me anyway. No matter how much you change, some people will always view you as you were at a certain time of your life. I don’t think Linden will ever stop thinking of me as the philandering git he knew growing up. I don’t think I’ll ever stop thinking of him as the annoying little shit who used to steal my stuff, the same one I used to give atomic wedgies to in the playground. And no matter how much our mother tries to cut down on her drinking and the icy shell of her exterior, no matter how hard our father pretends to be proud of us, we can’t help but view them as themselves when we were most vulnerable.
“Be that as it may,” I try and explain. I sigh. It’s hopeless. “She’s got a nice rack.” I give up and drink my burning elixir.
But Linden is watching me closely. “Is that all?”
I nod and start to cough. He slides his water over and I gulp half of it down. “Thanks,” I say, wiping my lips with the bar napkin. “And yes, that’s all. Would you expect anything more from me?”
“I guess not,” he says. He twists around in his stool and nods at the front door. “Hey, check it.”
I glance over my shoulder. A stunning blonde with arse-length hair and a glossy smile comes in the door. She’s dressed to impress in a gold strapless top that shows off just enough cleavage and tight-as-fuck jeans.
“She looks like your type,” Linden says.
“Are you trying to distract me?” I ask him wryly.
His eyes turn serious. “I told you before, Nicola is a no-go for you. Steph will absolutely murder me if you two hook-up. I will never hear the end of it and she’ll go on and on about ruining our dynamics. It’s always about the dynamics. She keeps quoting Friends, when Ross and Rachel broke up and changed everything for everyone else. Drives me bloody bonkers.”
“I am not bloody Ross,” I tell him defensively. “Joey, maybe.”
“Fine, but you get what I mean. She’s concerned about everyone being nice and getting along and you know if you shag Nicola, that’s just going to end poorly. Not only for her, but for yourself. How charitable are you going to be when she sets your whole apartment building on fire, huh?”
I can’t help but smile. “You think I’d affect her that badly, huh?”
“Oh, you’re useless,” Linden says and snaps his fingers for James. “Barkeep, I need another one.”
I sit there with Linden, shooting the shit for a wee bit, until Nicola comes on down the bar to us.
“Brave enough for another one?” she asks. Do my ears detect a flirty tone?
I can feel Linden get up from beside me, which brings me an ounce of relief. Last thing I want is for him to watch over everything I say to her.
“If you’re serving, I’m drinking,” I tell her with a wink. “It was…Bramtastic.”
Her eyes seek the ceiling.
“You are unbelievable,” she says. “Maybe I’ll add less sweet this time, though I swear I didn’t add any cheese.”
“I’ll be whatever you want me to be.”
She sighs and starts to make the drink. I make a mental note of the ingredients – Patrón tequila, lime juice, triple sec, hot pepper infused liqueur, a splash of orange juice and a wee hit of the brine from a jar of pickled banana peppers. Ah, so that was the secret ingredient.
While she’s piling up the garnishes on the end of a cocktail sword, she shoots me a look I haven’t seen before, not on her face anyway. It’s sort of pleading and puppy dog-ish. I like it. It makes me feel like she wants something from me for once instead of me always trying to give her something.
“So,” she says, her voice unsure. She hands me the drink. “So,” she starts again, “this drink is on the house.”
“And why is that?”
“Because I need a favor.”
My eyes widen. “You? You’re asking for a favor? From me?”
She seems to shut down before me. I quickly reach out and put my hand on hers, giving her soft skin a squeeze. She feels absolutely radiant to touch and I don’t want to let go.