I look down at it and the contrast with my Zara biker boots. “Thanks, I think it’s kind of ballerina punk.”
“No, I mean I’m glad you wore a skirt.”
“Why?” I ask and suddenly he’s jerking me into one of the showroom apartments. He takes me right around the corner of a sliding wood door and we’re in one of the bathrooms.
“No,” I tell him, planting my feet firmly. “What did I just tell you?”
“Relax, it’s not what you think,” he says and with one swift motion he grabs me by the hips and hoists me up onto the sink. I squirm even though I’m hidden from most shoppers. If anyone explored this faux apartment and turned the corner, they’d totally see me.
But Bram just hikes up my skirt so it’s bunched around my waist and pushes my underwear aside. The sudden burst of air and exposure makes me freeze, as does the cold faux marble on my ass. He positions himself between my legs, grinning up at me the whole time.
“Seriously, no,” I tell him. “We’ll get caught and kicked out.”
“But what a way to go,” he says and then I feel the tickle of his hair on me and the hot zing of his tongue.
I don’t even know how this is going to work. How can I relax and enjoy this knowing we could be found out at any minute? This isn’t pleasurable at all, this is nerve-wracking, it’s dangerous.
Jesus, this feels good.
I grip his hair in my hands and lean back, my head against the mirror as his tongue and lips get their fill of me.
A moan escapes me but I don’t care. The sound is taken away into the buzz of the store. Just feet away, there are people staring at this apartment, pondering their home furnishings and yet behind a simple piece of removable wall, my pussy is on display for them all to see.
Bram’s not taking his time like he was this morning though. His mouth is hot and fervent and as his tongue snakes in and out of me, I moan again, guttural this time, feeling like a very bad, very wild thing. When he takes his finger and plunges it inside, stroking my G-spot while his lips suck on my clit, I’m a goner.
“Fuck,” I cry out, too loud. But Bram keeps going until my limbs stop shaking. For a few glorious seconds there I think I’m above both time and space—the seventh dimension where Bram-powered orgasms send you.
“Wow,” I manage to say, lifting my head up. I expect to just see Bram but that’s not all I see. While he’s between my legs and staring at me with concern, probably because I look like I’ve just seen a ghost, there’s an elderly couple standing behind him with their mouths hanging open.
The woman shrieks and the man covers her eyes and pulls her aside and out of our view. Bram quickly hops to his feet, bringing me off the counter and making sure I’m covered.
“Oh, shit, oh shit, oh shit,” I swear, adjusting my skirt. I grab onto Bram’s shirt. “What do we do?”
“They look like the types who’ll call security,” he says and even though I’m freaking the fuck out, there’s a hint of amusement in his eyes. I’m not sure I like that. I don’t ever want to encourage this kind of fun again. “I guess we better run?”
I turn around and bang on the fake wall of the bathroom behind us. “Can’t you break through this or we can tunnel our way out? I don’t want to go out there,” I plead.
He grabs my hand and kisses the back of it. “On the count of three, we run. Got it? One, two, three!”
Somehow my legs move and he pulls me forward and we burst out of the fake bathroom and into the fake apartment. There are a few people staring at us, wondering what’s going on, but what’s the most frightening is that the elderly couple are talking to an Ikea worker and pointing right at us.
“Keep going!” Bram yells and my legs keep moving even though the rest of me seems frozen in icy panic and we scamper out of the apartment and down the hall toward the stairs at the very end.
I hear a “Hey!” of someone shouting after us but we don’t dare look or stop. We keep going, taking the stairs two at a time and run right to the daycare.
It hasn’t been an hour but Ava is running around close to the entrance. I call for her, waving frantically while trying to not appear like a crazy lady and Ava is good enough to run right over to us without any coaxing.
“You’re back already?” she asks.
“Honey, we have to go right now. Do you want to run with us? Pretend we are being chased by dinosaurs?”
She nods, always up for any sort of dino-related adventure.
“What kind of dinosaurs?”
“The bad ones.” I grab her hand and the three of us jog out of the store and away from anyone who may want to ban us for life. Of course we end up getting lost in the maze that is the parking lot, but once we find the Mercedes, we hop inside and speed away.
I keep looking back at the yellow and blue building as it gets further away, imagining that angry IKEA workers are chasing after our getaway car with pitchforks and torches. It isn’t until we’re on the freeway that I burst out laughing. I can’t help it. Tears spring to my eyes and I’m just shaking from it all, howling like a lunatic.
Bram looks at me in shock, as if he thinks I’ve lost my mind, but then he breaks into laughter too. Soon Ava is laughing, even though she doesn’t know why. Maybe she hasn’t seen her mom belly laugh in a really long time. Maybe she’s been infected by the strain of lunacy that’s been going on between Bram and I. Maybe she’s just happy her mother looks wild and free.
We laugh all the way back to the apartment.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Nicola
The one thing about sleeping with your best friend’s brother-in-law is that you’re not exactly sure how to approach the subject, or if you should say anything. But because it’s me and it’s Bram, it’s almost impossible not to spill the beans. I’m bursting at the seams to tell someone.
When we got back from Ikea, Bram cooked me an amazing chicken and roasted vegetable dinner that both Ava and I loved and then the three of us spent the evening watching A Bug’s Life. When it was time for Ava to go to bed, well then Bram and I had a fuckfest fest all night. Even though I’d gotten off at Ikea – and finally lived out my secret dream of sex in public – I’d become more turned on for him, all of him, than ever before.
But now it’s the next day and Bram is in meetings and Lisa is coming to look after Ava while I work. If I don’t tell someone, even Steph, what’s been happening for the last forty-eight hours, I’m going to lose my mind.
I don’t know, Steph’s text back to me reads after I’ve begged her to meet. I’m kind of zonked and I had plans with my pajamas and Netflix tonight.
I need to talk to you, I text back. You need to hear about who had sex at IKEA.
There’s a pause.
Then. WTF? Who had sex at IKEA? The store??
Come to the bar tonight and I’ll tell you. And yes the store.
OMG. Was it you? OMG. WAS IT BRAM?
See you tonight.
Fine. Gah, you bitch!!!!!!!! Tell meeeeeeeeeee.
Later.
FUCK.
And that’s how I convinced Steph to come hang out with me while I did my shift at the Lion. Fortunately it was a slow night but not slow enough to be sent home, so Steph sat at the bar and I eased my way into telling her the big news.
“Just spill the beans already,” she says, pounding back beer number two. So much for wanting to stay at home and watch Netflix.
“All right,” I say and I can feel myself blushing.
“Wait,” Steph says, holding up her palm. “I already know. I already know. Look at your face. You’re a giant tomato! It will always give you away.”