‘I know. He’s coming round mine tonight, though; I said I’d cook. What about you? What about that lad with the tattoos from Tinder?’
‘You mean Denzel? He says he really likes me but then I don’t hear from him in, like, four days. What’s up with that?’
Jade shook her head and took another bite from her sandwich. ‘Terrible. I don’t know how you put up with it. I’m so glad I don’t have to go through that anymore,’ she said between mouthfuls. It was conversations like this that reminded her of how lucky she was to have found Kevin on Match Your DNA, but she was annoyed that he couldn’t live any closer than half the world away in Australia. Before she’d received the email confirming her Match, she’d been in the same position as her workmates, only she liked to think she was more discerning with her men. In reality, she had dated just as many losers, or ‘stopgaps’ as Cosmopolitan branded them.
‘Yeah, you’ve got it easy,’ Lucy said. ‘You’ve found your lad.’
‘But it’s not like he’s on my doorstep, is it?’ Jade replied. ‘I can’t just pop round for dinner and a snog, can I? At least you’re actually interacting with these boys, even if they treat you like shite.’
‘That’s just how men are, though, isn’t it?’ said Shawna. ‘If you’re not one of the millions on that register who’ve been Matched already, then you’ve got to make do with what you can get until Mr Right turns up. If he turns up.’
‘Until then we’re gonna have to put up with a lot of shitbags,’ added Lucy.
‘No, girls, you’re wrong there.’ Jade delighted in telling them what they should do. ‘If us lasses all got our heads together, re-wrote the girl code and agreed to stop letting ourselves be treated like crap, then boys would have no choice but to up their game. Until then, they’re just going to keep carrying on because we let them.’
‘What I don’t get is what’s stopping you from going over to Australia and living happily ever after with Kevin?’ Shawna said. ‘If science reckons he’s the one for you, then what are you doing wasting your life here?’
‘I can’t just drop everything and go.’ Jade shook her head firmly. ‘Do you know how much flights to Australia cost? I’ve only just finished paying off one of my credit cards. Plus I’ve got my flat, my career, my family to think about …’
‘Your flat’s rented, you don’t have a career, you have a job you hate – I know that because we all hate this place – and you see your family once in a blue moon. So when it comes down to it, you don’t have any excuse.’
‘It’s not like you’re taking a bloody huge leap of faith either, is it?’ Lucy continued. ‘You were, literally, made for each other. Tell me what you like about him.’
Jade laughed. There was nothing she disliked about Kevin. Well, except his postcode. ‘He’s funny, he makes me feel good about myself, he’s kind, he has a gorgeous smile …’
‘Have you been sending each other sexy selfies?’
‘Of course not.’ Jade was adamant. ‘I’m not a slag.’ In reality, she’d tried once, but Kevin didn’t seem keen.
‘Christ,’ Lucy laughed. ‘There’s enough naked selfies of me floating around cyberspace to break the Internet.’
Jade agreed and gave one of her raucous laughs that everyone loved her for.
‘Well, if you don’t do that then you sext, right?’ Shawna interrupted.
‘Sext?’
‘Yeah, send each other filthy text messages or talk dirty down the phone to each other? Tell him what you want to do to him when you see him?’
Jade shook her head.
‘What about sexy time on Skype? Or Facetime?’
‘Kevin doesn’t have either.’ Jade had suggested Skyping a couple of times, but he didn’t have a laptop or a smartphone. If she thought her finances were bad, it was nothing compared to Kevin and his little backwater town. It was one of the many things they had in common.
‘Did you say he lived in Australia or 1950?’ Shawna continued. ‘It’s not like you to let a man fob you off.’
‘I don’t need to see him moving around and gurning like a bloody idiot to know how I feel about him.’
Shawna and Lucy’s eyes met and simultaneously nodded.
‘It’s definitely love then,’ said Shawna. ‘Nothing gets past our Miss Jade Sewell, but if he’s as awesome as you say he is, you need to stop wasting time here and get out there and see him.’
‘Or you’ll end up like us,’ giggled Lucy, although Jade could sense something in her tone that resembled a warning. ‘Seriously, Jade, pet, we’ve got slim pickings to choose from here. Every day, another fit lad gets snapped up by his Match. Me and Shawna are like vultures left picking at the bones of what’s been left behind and, believe us, it isn’t canny. It really isn’t. If I had a chance to be with my Match, I’d be on the next plane out of here, not sitting on the floor eating lunch round the back of a service entrance of a hotel.’
‘Yeah, stop making excuses,’ Shawna added.
‘Girls like us don’t do that sort of thing,’ Jade said, taken aback by Lucy’s directness. ‘I can’t leave everything behind and go, just like that. And like I said, a flight to Australia costs an arm and a leg.’
‘How much do you have left on your credit card?’
‘Well, I just finished paying one off …’
‘What’s your card limit?’
‘A couple of grand, I think.’
‘Then whack your holiday on the plastic. What have you got to lose? You need to grow some balls, bonny lass.’
‘Don’t make me get my balls out and slap you round the face with them. It’s just not me to chase a lad round the world.’
Shawna and Lucy glared at her, both of them with their tattooed eyebrows raised as far as the Botox would allow. ‘It’s not chasing him, hunny. He’s already yours.’
‘I can’t,’ repeated Jade, then paused. ‘Can I?’
Chapter 9
NICK
‘I think we should do it,’ Sally muttered, as she lay on her back staring at the exposed beams holding up the bedroom ceiling, illuminated by the street lamp outside.
‘It usually takes you longer than that, but I’m not complaining,’ Nick replied, and he removed his head from between her legs and surfaced from beneath the duvet. His hand moved towards the bedside cabinet where she kept their toys.
‘Not “it” as in sex,’ Sally said, ‘I think we should do the Match Your DNA test.’
Nick manoeuvred himself back to his side of the bed. ‘Way to kill the moment, babe.’
‘Sorry.’
‘Why now? Before Sumaira and Deepak rocked up for dinner and started talking about it, you were adamant we didn’t need to do it.’
‘Oh, baby, I still am,’ she said, her fingers playing with the hairs on his chest as if to reassure him. ‘But like Sumaira says, it’ll give us a bit of added security, just to know. To really know.’
Bloody Sumaira, thought Nick, but he didn’t complain aloud. ‘Are you sure this isn’t your way of telling me you have pre-wedding jitters?’
‘Of course not, silly.’ Sally pulled his head down to kiss it. ‘But you know what I’m like. It’s OK for you; your parents have been together since the Dark Ages, while my mum’s been married three times and my dad is on his fourth wife. They’re both always searching for something they don’t think they have and I really don’t want to be like them; I want to know that, at least biologically, we stand a chance.’
‘What if it turns out our DNA doesn’t Match?’
‘Then we’ll be mindful that maybe we’ll need to put more effort into our relationship. Like John Lennon said, “All You Need Is Love”.’