“What about my back?” I murmured, lost in the trance of where his tongue was going to go next.
He shoved my back against the mattress, pulling my arms above my head before he crawled on top of me, straddling my hips. “I’m sorry that it might be sore in the morning.”
John leaned over, crushing his lips against mine, not in an apology, but with an urgent fervor. His grip stayed on my wrists, keeping them above my head while his tongue teased mine. I closed my eyes and a soft moan escaped my lips. I wriggled my wrists, wanting to move them along the curves of his body pressed against me.
He moved his lips to my ear, whispering, “I’m sorry, Red, you’re not going to move those hands. Let John Boy do the work.”
His mouth trailed down my jawline, leaving feather light kisses in its wake, until his lips where at my neck. His tongue flicked against my skin, sending a shiver below my belly button. I bucked my hips up to meet his and could feel the bulge forming underneath his jeans. No more awkward moments this time. He wanted me just as bad as I wanted him.
But then of course my phone had to vibrate, loudly, from where my purse lay beside me. John popped his head up and I opened my eyes slowly. “Red, are you sure you don’t need to get that?”
I shook my head feverishly. “No, it’s fine.”
“Are you sure? It’s been ringing a lot.”
I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him closer. “I’m positive.”
An all out grin spread across his face and then quickly disappeared into my lips. He tasted like peppermint with a hint of alcohol. He either mouth washed before I got there or was just downing peppermint schnapps. Either way, I wasn’t complaining. His teeth nibbled at my bottom lip before he ran his tongue across it. Each tantalizing move made my body quiver. His lips teased mine, bringing me to the brink of eruption.
Then my phone vibrated again. Dammit. He released the kiss, pulling back like a suction cup. I opened my eyes to be met with his, staring widely at me. “I think you should probably get that.”
He released my wrists and I groaned, turning to the side and pulling my phone out of my purse where it fell beside me. I had quite a few missed calls from a number I didn’t recognize and the same one was calling again. I unlocked my phone and slid it up to my ear. “Hello?” I couldn’t hide the annoyance in my voice.
John sat up, moving his legs until he sat beside me. I slowly leaned up as well, resting my back against the headboard.
“Hello, is this Melanie Wilder?”
“Speaking.”
“This is Dr. Monroe, from Student Health Services. I’m sorry for the late call, but I’ve been trying to get in touch with you for awhile.”
Dr. Monroe? The one that did my exam? Why the hell would she be calling me after hours on a Wednesday?
“It’s all right. Um, did I forget something?”
“No.” Her voice held a tinge of sadness. “This isn’t a call I usually make, but we received your test results and there was some moderate dysplasia that I think we need to look further into.”
“Dysplasia?” I raised my eyebrows, staring down at John’s striped comforter.
“Yes. The lab found some cancerous cells on your cervix. HPV happens to a lot of women your age, and it’s usually mild, but we still think that you should get it checked out with a doctor here in Central. I’m going to send a recommendation to Dr. Rodriguez and you should be able to get an appointment with her this week.”
Cancer? Doctors? My throat seized and my mouth felt like it had completely dried up. “I-I-I Cancer?” I felt tears pricking my eyes, but they wouldn’t come. I wouldn’t let them. John’s hand was on mine as soon as the words escaped my mouth. His other arm was around me, rubbing his fingertips up and down my arm.
“It may just be pre-cancerous, which means it would just be a simple procedure, but I still think you should see Dr. Rodriguez. She has a practice off of East Street. I’ll email all of her information to your student account.”
“Oh-o-okay.” My voice failed me. Everything came out as shaky as my body. I felt like I was going to crumble. The only thing keeping me up was John’s arms.
“Everything is going to be fine, Melanie. Dr. Rodriguez sees these types of things every day and she’ll take good care of you.”
“Okay.” I didn’t know what else to say. My heart was pounding so loud that I swore it beat out of my chest. People my age just didn’t get cancer. They didn’t get late night phone calls from too friendly doctors that said the news like they were reading their grocery lists. This couldn’t be real.
“Are you going to be all right?” Her voice sounded too cheery. Too nice for the words she was saying.
“Yes.”
“Okay, then. I’ll get this emailed out to you right away and make sure to call Dr. Rodriguez in the morning.”
“Okay.”
“Goodbye, Melanie.” Her voice stayed even. Like she didn’t just deliver a death sentence to a nineteen year old girl.
“Bye.”
The phone slipped from my fingertips and on to a pile of John’s clothes. Slowly I turned toward him and saw his blue eyes brimming with concern. “Are you okay?”
“I-I.I...” I felt a single tear fall down my cheek and then another. “I have cancer.”
The tears flowed freely as John let out a deep breath, pulling me to his chest and wrapping his arms tight around me. My tears soaked through his t-shirt and I couldn’t stop them. All my energy poured out of me and my breathing came out in short gasps. “Student health called and,” I hiccupped my words. “They want me to go to a specialist, but I don’t have a car to get there and I don’t know who this lady is.” I hiccupped. “And I don’t know what dysplasia is or how the hell I got it. I don’t know what to do.” I cried. I cried until it felt like I didn’t have any breath left in me. I wanted to cry the cancer out of my failing body.
John rubbed my back, kissing the top of my head. “I’m not going to lie to you and say that it’s going to be okay because that’s not what you want to hear.”
I sniffled into his chest.
“But I will say that I’m here for you and I’ll do whatever you need. Do you want me to call Monica to come get you?”
I shook my head, letting out another cry. “No! That’s the last thing I want. I don’t want anybody to know about this.” Including him. Including the guy I just wanted to screw and instead I was slobbering all over him.
“Okay.” He nodded into my hair. “Then I’ll be here for you. I have a car and I can take you to your appointment.”
I shook my head, pulling back to look at him. My running makeup was stinging my eyes and I could barely make out his face. “You don’t have to do that. I’m not a charity case. I’ll take the bus or something.”
John put his hand to my face, wiping away a few tears with his thumb. “I don’t think of you as a charity case. I want to do it. I’m here for you, Melanie.”
I let out a deep breath. “Okay. Just this one time. Then I’ll find my own way there.”
“Okay.” He nodded. His face stayed still as a statue, but his eyes looked like they were on the verge of tears themselves. John pulled me against his chest and hugged me, running his fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes, listening to the beat of his heart against my cheek. His beating, healthy heart.
I didn’t know what my next step was. I knew I would need to call my mom and sister and make the appointment. But in that moment I couldn’t move. I couldn’t think about anything, so I just fell asleep in John’s arms because that seemed to be the only thing left to do.
Chapter 7
I woke up in a fog. My mind was a jumbled mess from talking to the doctor and when I opened my eyes, there was a cloud of steam right in my face. That steam came in from an open door where John stood in nothing but a towel.