Then she had been captured by him, brought to Proxima, questioned… It had been an ordeal simply to keep her sanity, to keep the dreadful actuality of what she had done from exploding in her face.
And then he had saved her. A simple act of mercy – food, water and rest – was followed by her freedom. She had been given a chance to think, to understand, to suppose. She found she could talk to him about her theories and he would listen. She wasn’t sure he believed her, but he would at least listen.
And then she had met Valen. So many questions answered, but so many new questions arising. She had seen the future – or what might become the future. She had seen herself standing over Sheridan’s grave on a devastated Minbar, and she had sworn never to let that happen. Her change had been part of an effort to prevent that future from happening.
And then had come her chrysalis, and her almost fatal premature emergence from it. She remembered little of the immediate few days after the chrysalis had been broken, but she had an image of a part of herself being held prisoner within her own mind, of being hemmed in by steel bars while Shadows crept up on her. She had been freed at last, but now she was just as worried as before. She had her place in destiny marked out – the prophecies said so – but it wasn’t supposed to happen this way. Surely it wasn’t?
She winced as another sharp burst of pain tore up to her eyes from the back of her skull. They were getting more frequent now.
“Delenn?” Sheridan asked. He knelt down beside her. “Are you…?”
All right? She didn’t know. She didn’t understand what was happening to her. She had expected some pain, some… difficulty in her transition, but not this.
But how could she tell him of her pains, when he had so many of his own? She doubted she would ever forget the image of his face after Anna had died. The sight of all innocence and hope fading. She doubted they would ever regain their earlier air of… familiarity. The two of them had grown close – as close as any human and Minbari could get. Now… he still came to talk, he still listened, but there were more uncomfortable gaps in their conversations, as they both wondered what to say that could possibly forestall further pain.
“I am fine,” she whispered. She was not fine. She remembered what Dr. Hobbs and Dr. Kyle had told her.
“I don’t pretend to know anything about the technology that caused this change,” Dr. Hobbs had begun. She was a warm, friendly woman who had actually talked to Delenn. Delenn was still nervous around most humans, and the sight of someone who did not look upon her as a Minbari murderer had given her a brief ray of happiness.
“All I can say is what I’ve discovered, and I’m afraid it is not good.
“Your biology is… very unstable. You’ve said that the process was not complete and that would concur with my data. Your vital systems are very unstable, and heart problems in particular seem likely, as well as more… minor complaints like severe headaches, dizziness, nausea, possibly even loss of memory.”
“I have… been suffering from all of those,” she admitted.
“I guessed as much, and I’m afraid things are only going to get worse. I can prescribe some medicines to treat some of the symptoms, but I’m going to have to be very careful to make sure that whatever I give you won’t cause problems for either part of your shared biology. I also won’t be able to do anything to get at the root of the problem, unless you have some of the technology that caused this, so I can have a look at it…”
“It was confiscated by Mr. Welles,” Delenn replied. “It is on Proxima Three at the moment.”
“Then I’m afraid there isn’t much I can do. My best guess if that you only have a few months before one of your major systems fails completely, and I won’t be able to do much to help.”
“A few months will be all I need. Thank you, Doctor.”
Delenn had tried to hide how scared she was by this, but she was failing, both in hiding it from herself and in hiding it from John. He had not mentioned anything about it to her, however. At least not yet.
“How… much longer until we arrive there?” Delenn asked, trying not to notice how near John was to her. She could look directly into his eyes and notice every item of loss and pain and suffering there… and how much of all that suffering was down to her?
“A few hours, not much more,” he replied. “I… I…” He fell back, sitting on the back of his heels. “I wish I knew what Bester was up to.”
“You do not trust him?”
“I don’t trust anyone, Delenn. No one at all.” Not even me, she thought sadly. And why should he? What have I ever done to make him trust me?
“What did he tell you? What were your… orders?”
“That’s the funniest part of all…”
Bester had not looked happy when Sheridan had gone to see him, as requested. He had smiled however as Sheridan walked in. Sheridan had seen Captain Ben Zayn walk out, and had received a grim, steady expression of patience in return for his careful greeting.
“Ah, Captain Sheridan.” He did not like the sight of Bester smiling. It reminded him of a shark’s smile – that what Bester found happy was not something anyone else would find something to smile about. “How are you taking to the Parmenion?”
“Very well,” Sheridan replied. “It’s a… good ship with a very capable crew.”
“Good. I am glad. It is a pity that you will not have more time to adapt. Captain, the Minbari have launched an offensive on Proxima Three.”
Sheridan breathed out harshly. Well, he knew it was bound to happen eventually. And it wasn’t as if it could have hit him as much of a surprise, but still…
“Will we be taking action?” he asked cautiously. He still wasn’t sure exactly where Bester’s loyalties lay in the conflict. He wouldn’t be surprised if he simply sat the matter out and moved in to pick up the pieces.
“Of course, Captain. This is too important for us to not be involved. I have already given Captain Ben Zayn his orders. He will be taking the Ozymandias to Proxima Three itself. I want you to go to Proxima Seven. That is doubtless where the Minbari will emerge from hyperspace, giving them plenty of time to evaluate the area before striking out for the colony itself.”
Bester paused, and Sheridan looked at him. “And then?”
“I am sorry, Captain?”
“What are my instructions regarding the Minbari? If I’m stuck out in Proxima Seven against an entire Minbari fleet then not even I can do much…”
“Who said anything about fighting the Minbari? Your mission is to… be there.”
“But…”
“You are an intelligent man, Captain. At least I always took you to be one. I am sure your… instincts will guide you in the right direction. You have your instructions, Captain.”
“It didn’t make any sense. It still doesn’t. One minute he was giving me strict instructions to follow his orders, the next he’s telling me to do what I think best. I sometimes wonder if he knows what he’s doing.”
“And what will you be doing?” she asked softly. Delenn hated herself for questioning him like this, but she had to do it. “If the Enemy are waiting there for my people, then who will you fight?”
“I… don’t know. I won’t hurt my people, Delenn. I won’t do that! But… would I hurt them more by letting them be? Letting them… keep walking into the Darkness?”
Delenn reached out and touched his arm gently. “You will make the right decision.” But her thoughts were on something else. On the Council of Nine… on the covenant with Valen, on the prophecies…
If she could convince them of the truth of the prophecies then this could be ended without bloodshed. If she could make the Grey Council see what Valen had meant… who Valen was… then there might be hope. The Grey Council would be there. Sinoval would not pass up this opportunity to lead. He always prided himself on leading from the front. Like a true warrior.