“I just want to be friends.” I spoke hurriedly into the phone, feeling slightly panicked. What if she decided not to come to dinner? I hadn’t considered that possibility.
“I don’t think you know what you want.” She paused. “There’s nothing wrong with that. I just don’t know that I can be the person that helps you figure it out.”
“There’s nothing to figure out.” I gripped the phone tightly. “Please come to dinner. It will be fun.”
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
“No! Of course not.” I shook my head vehemently and then stopped when I realized she couldn’t see me.
“Did you break up with her or did she break up with you?”
“It was mutual.” My voice was pained as I spoke. I didn’t want to relive the memories of my time in Palm Bonita with her.
“Do you still care about her?” She paused. “Stupid question. I can already tell that you do.”
“What?” I frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“It’s okay if you think I’m crazy and intense.” She spoke into the phone hurriedly. “I suppose I am a little bit. Along with being a bitch and slightly neurotic. And a game show fiend. But I can’t get into a relationship or dating situation with someone who is caught up with their ex.”
“I just called to ask you for dinner.” I couldn’t stop myself from laughing. “Not to get married.”
“I guess it would be nice to make some new friends,” she said slowly. “If you’re sure you don’t mind having a friend who could be in the loony bin.”
“You’ll fit right in.” I smiled, suddenly happy that we were back on track. “Can you make it tonight?”
“Tonight?” She sounded surprised. “I’m not sure.”
“Please?” I closed my eyes and pictured her face. “It would be nice to see you again,” I said honestly.
“Well, since you ask that nicely,” she laughed, “I’d love to.”
“Great. Shall I pick you up?”
“I can make my way to you. Where do you live?”
“Los Feliz.”
“Oh, fancy.”
“What about you?”
“Los Feliz as well.”
“Oh, well, I guess you’re fancy, too.”
“I’m not sure you could call the apartment complex I live in fancy. Maybe a fancy dump.”
“Well, I live with my brother, and so while his place isn’t a dump, I can’t claim it as my own.”
“I look forward to seeing it.”
“I look forward to seeing you.” I almost whispered into the phone, lightheaded. I was amazed that I was really enjoying the conversation and was anxious to see her again. I hadn’t thought that I could feel so into someone new with the other worries in my mind. A part of me was ashamed that I was allowing light and happiness into my life while Skylar was still stuck in the dark. I shook my head to stop the sad thoughts from creeping in and taking over.
“Well, if you’re a good boy, you may even get a goodnight kiss,” she teased me happily.
“Then I’ll have to be very good.”
“Noah?” Zane opened the front door and stared at me on the phone. “I thought I heard someone outside. You okay?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “I’ll be right in. I’m on the phone.”
He looked at me with an almost accusatory stare and I suddenly realized that he thought I was on the phone with Mom. “A new friend of mine is coming over to dinner tonight. We’re just making plans,” I explained to him, and the wariness in his eyes faded.
“Oh, okay.” He stepped back. “I’ll be in the kitchen.”
“See you in a minute.” I waited for him to go back in before continuing. “Sorry about that, Robin, my brother came outside.”
“That’s okay. I should get going anyway. Text me your address and what time to be there and I’ll see you later tonight.”
“Sounds good.”
“Shall I bring anything?”
“Just yourself.”
I stood outside for a few minutes after we got off the phone to gather my thoughts. I had initially called Robin to soothe Lucky’s fears and worries, but I was genuinely excited for her to come to dinner. More excited than I should be, but I wasn’t really surprised. I had been attracted to her the first time I’d seen her. And now that I was getting to know her, I was even more drawn to her. I liked her honesty and wit. I liked the way she challenged me and wasn’t afraid to say what she felt. She didn’t seem like she was a girl who was into games. What you saw was what you got. And she seemed like a good person. My heart thudded as I thought about Robin and the feelings that were already developing in me. I was scared. I had been wrong once before. I had allowed sex to manipulate my mind and now I was paying the ultimate price. “They’re not the same.” I muttered to myself. I didn’t want to compare them, but I was already doubting my instincts. What did I really know about Robin? Was I allowing sex to guide me again? I had gotten it wrong before. Very wrong. And now I didn’t know what to think. As I stood there, I thought back to the moment in Palm Bonita when I had realized that maybe she was the bad news she had been warning me about all along.
“You coming?” She’d grabbed my hand and pulled me into the small room besides her. “I don’t think this is a good idea.” I mumbled but followed her in. “Let’s go.” I watched as she went through the drawers and pulled out items of clothing and stuffed them into her bag. “Let’s go.” I said louder this time, hoping she sensed my displeasure and the urgency with which I wanted to leave. “This isn’t cool.”
“You thought it was cool when you thought we were going to have sex in here.” She rolled her eyes at me. “So you’re fine with having sex in a stranger’s house, but not borrowing stuff?”
“You’re not borrowing anything. You’re stealing.” I grabbed her arm and pulled her toward me. “I thought it would be kind of kinky to make love in a stranger’s house, I admit it. But it was a bad idea. Let’s go.”
“Hold on, let me see what she has in the closet first.” She pulled away from me, and her voice was harsh. “I heard she had a Chanel handbag in here somewhere.” She threw clothes on the ground and then I heard her take a sharp breath as she stuffed something in her bag. “Louis Vuitton will do.” She turned towards me with a seductive glance. “Now, if you want to get laid, I’m all yours.” I watched her in horror and lust as she pulled her top off and then pulled her bra off as she walked towards me. “Take me, Noah.”
“No, no. I can’t.” I resisted the urge to grab her and bend her over.
“You know you want to.” She pressed her lips against mine aggressively and I pulled away in distaste.
“No. Let’s go.”
“Fuck me, asshole, or I’ll tell Mr. and Mrs. Smith that you broke in.”
“What?” I looked at her in disbelief.
“I’m joking.” She stepped back and slipped her shirt back on. “Let’s go.” And then we walked out of the back door, just as easily as we had entered. “What do you want to do now?”
“I think I’m just going to go home.” I walked away from her without looking her in the eyes. I felt disgusted with myself, and I couldn’t stop the churning feeling of horror that was seeping into my veins. What we had done hadn’t been sexy or fun. It had been invasive and creepy. Who was I becoming? This wasn’t who I was. But now I was starting to wonder who she was.
“Noah,” she called after me and I turned to look at her slowly, trying to ignore the mixed feelings that rushed through me at her face. “Remember what I said before.” She looked at me coldly as she held a finger up to her lips. I turned away from her and walked away quickly with my heart pounding. I didn’t know what to think or say but all of a sudden I wanted to be anywhere but in Palm Bonita. That night I had insomnia and all I could think of was how disappointed Zane would be with me. And so I went to my stash of cash and slipped $5,000 in an envelope and left it in the Smith’s mailbox. Giving them the cash helped to assuage some of my guilt, but I still felt uneasy. That was the day that I realized that she had an evil side. And I was scared that I had gotten her all wrong.