“She wasn’t?” Lucky prodded after a long silence.
“No.” I shook my head.
“How so?” Lucky’s eyes were wide.
“For one, she was married.” I saw Lucky’s mouth drop open and Zane gave me an amused look. “She wasn’t living with the husband or anything. She was actually in Palm Bonita because she wanted to get away from him.”
“That’s not so bad, then.” Lucky gave me an encouraging look. “If you thought she was going to get divorced.”
“I didn’t even know she was married until the end.” I shrugged. “Though all the signs were there.”
“Is that why you broke up?” Lucky asked again and then bit her lip. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to imply that …”
“You don’t have to be sorry for anything.” I gave her a reassuring smile. “But no, that’s not why we broke up. I realized she wasn’t the person I thought she was.”
“Because she lied to you about being married?”
“No. You would think that would be it, right?” I chortled to myself, not believing that I was actually talking about everything.
“So what was it?” Zane’s voice was impatient and I held back a laugh. Trust my brother to want to get to the meaty part of the story right away.
“There was this girl, another girl in town. Well, she and I became friendly. More than friendly, and I developed feelings for her.” I paused, not sure how to continue with the story. “Well, the girl I was dating didn’t like that. And she treated the new girl badly.” I knew that I was being vague, but for some reason I didn’t want to tell them everything about our relationship. It was too close to home and too painful.
“So you cheated on your girlfriend?” Lucky looked at me in disappointment.
“He can’t cheat if she’s married.” Zane gave her a look and I felt a surge of love toward him for sticking up for me.
“I didn’t cheat.” I said emphatically. “In fact, we continued dating. I thought I could convince her to treat the other girl better. But it backfired. And I found out that I had ruined everything.” I closed my eyes as I thought about the bleakness in Skylar’s eyes as she realized that I wasn’t going to be her savior. That no matter how much I wanted to be the one to save her from her life, I couldn’t. I think both of our hearts broke that day. And there was nothing either one of us could do to change the facts. It was harder for her to accept because she still had faith and believed in miracles. But I knew that there wasn’t going to be a miracle; there would be no parting of the Red Sea. I was no Moses.
“Are you okay, Noah?” Lucky’s voice sounded worried, and I opened my eyes slowly. I stared at the two of them on the couch, snuggled into each other’s arms, and I envied them. I envied how perfect their life was and how lucky they were to have found each other. How simple everything had been for them. It was what I thought my life was going to be like.
“I can still remember the day that I realized I loved Skylar.” I talked without making eye contact with either of them. “We’d gone to the park and she wanted to go to the swings, and of course she wanted me to actually swing as well. I’d laughed, of course, because there were a bunch of little kids and I felt like a creep taking over one of the swings, but the joy on her face dissipated any feelings of worry or concern. Of course, I only stayed on the swing for a few minutes since I still felt slightly self-conscious. A grown man swinging on a swing in the middle of the day is not cute.”
“It sounds pretty adorable to me.” Lucky grinned and I smiled back at her before I continued talking.
“So, I decided to push her, so that she could go higher and higher. And she started laughing in delight. And she let go of the handles and put her hands in the air and she squealed out that she felt like she was flying. And I laughed and told her that I wished that I could fly. And she looked back at me and said, ‘Every time I’m with you, I feel like I’m flying.’”
I stopped talking as my throat grew dry. I could still picture the open joy and honesty in her eyes as she grinned at me, a purely happy smile full of love and trust. “And I told her that every time I was with her, I felt like I could fly.” I stopped talking as emotions overtook me. “It was a perfect moment and I realized that love can hit you in the most unexpected ways.”
“If you still love Skylar, maybe you can try and date her still.” Lucky sounded hopeful.
“What?” I looked at her in confusion. “I don’t think you understand. Skylar is—”
“Don’t push him, Lucky.” Zane interrupted me. “He obviously wants to move on from what went down in Palm Bonita. I’m not trying to be rude, but it seems to me like that relationship was a rollercoaster ride and a bumpy one at that.”
“But true love only comes around once in a lifetime.” Lucky glared at him and shifted away from him in her seat.
“Says who?” Zane shook his head. “He’s obviously trying to move on. Maybe you should—”
“I’m still here, guys.” I cleared my throat, not wanting to talk about it anymore. I didn’t have the energy to explain to them that they had misunderstood what I was saying. “But, yeah, the point of telling you guys all that is to explain why I’m still a bit emotional about everything. Especially getting Skylar’s call.”
“Do you still want to have the dinner tonight? With Robin?” Lucky jumped up and walked over to me. “You can cancel and blame it on me if you want.”
“No.” I jumped up. “I still want her to come over. You guys are right. I need to move on. I need to refocus.”
“Yeah, please do. I want some answers sometime this year.” Zane stared at me as he walked over to Lucky and rubbed her shoulder. She glared at him and he gave her an apologetic smile; within a few seconds they were holding hands.
“Give it a rest, Zane.” Lucky sighed.
“I’m trying.” He sighed as well, and I looked over at them both with a rueful smile.
“You guys are lucky to have each other. Always remember that.”
“You hear that, Lucky?” Zane grinned at her and pulled her into his arms. “You’re lucky to have me.” He kissed her forehead as she rolled her eyes at him. “But really I’m the fortunate one. I’m the real winner. I found you, somehow tricked you into falling in love with me, and now you’re stuck with me forever.”
“Oh, boy.” She shuddered and laughed as he smacked her bottom.
“You’re my forever love and I’m never letting go of you.”
“Not even when I shower?” She grinned at him and wiggled her eyebrows and he slid his hand up her back.
“Especially not when you shower.” He grinned at her before leaning down to kiss her on the lips. I stood there watching them, still slightly shocked to see my previously cold and emotionless brother acting like some sort of Romeo.
“Sorry, Noah.” Lucky pulled away from Zane’s embrace with a flush. “Zane just gets carried away.”
“I guess I know how the babies happened.” I laughed and she blushed even redder.
“Noah!” Zane winked at me, as he faked a disapproving voice.
“Sorry.” I winked back at him and stretched. “I’m going to leave you two lovebirds alone and go upstairs.” I left the room and tried to ignore the empty pit of despair in my stomach. I brightened up at the thought of Robin joining us for dinner. A part of me was buzzing with excitement as I thought about getting to know her better. But then I thought of Skylar and her phone call and all excitement left me. Instead I was filled with guilt and concern and I wasn’t sure if those feelings would ever leave me.
“Dinner was wonderful. Thank you, Lucky.” Robin licked her lips, and we all laughed at her obvious enjoyment of the food. “I haven’t had a good meal in a long while.”