She eased up to sitting, a few tears still on her cheek.
Caspian lifted his hand and wiped them away. The moment he did he knew he’d gone too far. That simple gesture was more intimate than anything else they’d shared. For a heartbeat neither of them moved. His fingers lingered against her skin as if he was unable to pull away.
Slowly she moved closer, her lips brushing his in the lightest of kisses, yet it was far more intense than anything he’d seen in the memories of the furniture upstairs. The hunger woke, reminding him that it had been a long time since he’d held a woman in his arms. He swept his tongue over her lips and was surprised when her mouth opened and she responded. He immediately wanted more, but knew that was impossible. He couldn’t fall in love with someone he had to keep lying to. It wasn’t fair to Lydia, and he couldn’t go through that heartbreak again. He drew away, missing the taste of her lips.
“Thank you for understanding.” She placed one hand on his thigh, a soft kiss on his cheek, and made no effort to move away, her head resting on his shoulder. “Sorry my family is so messed up.”
Most men were nothing like him. He understood the weight of family secrets; the only difference was he could never talk about his. “Every family has its secrets and skeletons.”
“Even yours?”
“Especially mine.” The heat of her palm on his leg sank into his blood. He didn’t care how odd her family was, he would always win that competition hands down. How much did he dare to tell her and how much would she believe?
She drew back enough to look him in the eye. “Like what?” Her brown eyes were still glittery from the tears. She was trying to find more common ground. Did she realize what she was asking? Could he even come close to telling her the truth?
“If I told you, it wouldn’t be a secret.” He tried to make light of it but knew he’d have to tell her something close to the truth.
She tilted her chin and held his gaze. “That’s not fair; you know all about my scandalous family.”
It was probably a good thing she didn’t know exactly how much he knew. Caspian chewed over the truths he could drag out and in the end went with the safest one. “There’s the pirate in the family tree.”
“So you said.”
And he was going to have to do better. He wanted to do better so she knew more about him. He glanced at her before speaking. “My father isn’t my father.” It was much easier to say than he’d expected. Probably because he’d lived with the knowledge for so long it no longer mattered to him.
Her forehead furrowed. “Your mother had an affair?”
“She did, and to this day I don’t think she’s told my dad about it—my dad who raised me, I mean.”
“But she told you.”
He’d stuck his foot in that one. “When I was older she did. My younger brother had been teasing me about how I looked different from him and saying I was adopted. She promised me that I was loved and wanted, even though I had been an accident, but she also made me promise not to tell.” And he’d never told anyone until today.
“That’s rough.” She gave his thigh a gentle squeeze that went straight to his heart.
“That’s the way things are. If I changed them, I wouldn’t exist. But my brother was right. We both have dark hair but that’s where the similarity ends. My mother told me I have my father’s eyes.”
“Have you met him?”
“No, but I know who he is, and I know it’s better I never meet him.” It was really nice to tell someone. He’d never shared the details with Natalie because he’d been afraid what she’d think, and what she’d say. With Lydia it was different. She knew what it felt like to have a family scandal and she knew that some things were best not discussed in public. However, telling her his father was the Crown Prince of Annwyn, what she would know as heaven, hell, and the afterlife all rolled into one, might be too much.
She raised her eyebrows. “You’re not going to tell me who he is?”
“He’s a powerful man who seduced my mother with sweet-talk. That’s all I need to know. That’s all you need to know.” Telling Lydia anything more would be unwise. Even among fairies most didn’t know who his father was, according to Dylis.
“So when you told me your father was a mechanic you weren’t being entirely truthful.”
“I was.” In his mind he only had one father; the other one had just contributed DNA and magic. “He’s the man who raised me, who taught me to ride a bike, drive a car, and do an oil change. Aside from genetics he’s my father, and I’m sure in his heart he considers me his son.” Caspian stood, bringing Lydia with him.
Their hands linked without thought. He knew the time for walking away before he got in too deep was gone, and he was quite happy to sink if it meant spending more time with Lydia.
She slid easily into his embrace, her head on his shoulder. He wrapped one arm around her waist, the other was still holding her hand. Against his chest she took a few deep breaths as if she wasn’t ready to let him go. Every small movement made his skin crave more. He wanted to feel her hands on him. It wasn’t just talking easily to someone that he missed; it was the skin-to-skin contact. And yet he knew that everything he shared with Lydia was still only a half-formed shadow that wouldn’t become real until she knew the truth. One piece at a time. He’d never been a rip-the-bandage-off-fast kind of person when small steps and caution worked just as well.
For the moment what they’d shared was enough. She knew more about him than anyone.
Dylis peered around the corner, glanced at him, then backed away just as fast.
Lydia looked up at him as if sensing a change. He took that moment to kiss her and pretend that fairies didn’t exist and weren’t trying to mess with his life for the next thirty seconds. Her hand swept over his chest until her fingers brushed the curls at the nape of his neck. As the kiss deepened he let himself fall into the fantasy that everything would be fine. His hand cupped her butt and she moved against him in a way that tempted him to do more than kiss. And he was sure she noticed the hardness that had formed between them.
But she didn’t pull back. Her tongue traced his lip, and danced with his. Her body molded closer.
Then they heard a sharp screech and heavy thump.
“What was that?” Lydia whispered, glancing over her shoulder. Her ears strained, trying to listen for another bump or strange noise.
“The ghost?” he asked.
Lydia shook her head and listened again, but all she could hear was the pounding of her heart. Her pulse had been accelerating before being startled. Caspian had that effect on her. She was glad she had an effect on him. His arm was wrapped around her as if he would protect her, his hand on her butt, but his shoulder was tense beneath her hand. She looked up at him and was caught in his gaze. His eyes were mesmerizing. He lowered his lips to hers once more, but it was just a last taste.
“Want me to have a look?”
She should say yes, but she didn’t want to move. Not when she’d chipped through his defenses and had learned a little bit more about him. And in exchange he’d seen her crumble and unable to cope. She let her fingers trail down his chest, enjoying the hint of muscle beneath his shirt.
“I’ll do it, you… you can get back to cataloguing in the bedroom.” Even as she said it she knew that was the wrong thing. The warmth of the embrace faded and the moment fractured as Caspian released her. As his fingers slid away she caught his hand. “Your secret is safe with me.”
He looked at her and for a moment she had the feeling that what he’d told was just the tip of the iceberg. “I wouldn’t have told you if I didn’t trust you. However, I think I should go and see what’s banging around.”