Stiffening her shoulders as if preparing for a blow, she forced herself to turn and face him. "I… I fear I haven't been completely truthful, Geoffrey. There is something I failed to tell you."
"What is it, my dear?"
Her eyes burned. How could she bear to hurt this man? How could she not? She couldn't marry him. Not when she loved Nicholas so desperately…
She had been fooling herself all along. The signs had been so obvious: the joy she felt in Nicholas's presence, her grief at having to part, her terror at the possibility of him dying…
Tonight, with the danger he faced, she had finally been forced to acknowledge the truth. She couldn't lose Nicholas. Even if he died tomorrow, she wanted to be with him for as long as she could.
"Aurora?" Geoffrey prodded when she stood silently.
With effort, she swallowed the ache in her throat. She had no choice. She couldn't let Nicholas go.
"You are bound to hear the truth," she began finally, "but I wanted it to come from me."
"Aurora, please," he said gently, "I hope you will end my suspense."
She nodded, taking a steadying breath. "I told you yesterday that my husband was alive, but… there is more. Nicholas Sabine is here, Geoffrey. In England."
There was a long silence while Geoffrey digested that intelligence. "Your husband is here?" he said slowly.
"Yes. He has been here these past six weeks."
"So long?"
She couldn't read the expression in Geoffrey's blue eyes. Shock? Dismay? Anger?
Despite her vow to control her emotions, Aurora found herself clenching her hands. "Geoffrey, I… I have been with him."
"He forced himself on you?" Definite anger laced his tone as his eyebrows snapped together in a scowl.
"No. He never forced me. I… welcomed him."
"I see." Geoffrey raised a hand to his temple. "Do you mind if I sit down?"
"Yes… no, of course I don't mind…" Aurora took an agitated step toward him. "It was thoughtless of me to keep you standing."
He sank slowly onto the settee. "Why did you not tell me yesterday?" he finally asked.
"I couldn't. I didn't want to hurt you so shortly after you had returned home. I did mean to tell you… soon," Aurora finished lamely.
Compelling herself to meet his gaze, she came to sit beside him. "I hoped to give you time to adjust to being home before you had to learn of it, but… well… there have been complications. The British navy is searching for Nicholas. They came to me a short while ago, demanding to know his whereabouts."
Geoffrey still seemed to be considering the ramifications of her earlier disclosure. "Yesterday you led me to believe you wanted the marriage annulled."
"I thought I did." She took another shaky breath. "After you returned, I asked Nicholas to have our marriage annulled, and he agreed."
"You asked him to sever the marriage?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Why?" She searched Geoffrey's face. His blue eyes were solemn, penetrating.
"I am curious about your reasoning," he said slowly. "Whether you meant to end it for my sake, or because that is what you truly wanted."
Aurora looked down at her clasped hands, struggling to hide the despair welling in her eyes.
"You love him, don't you." It was not a question.
She felt her eyes blurring as she nodded. For weeks now she had fought admitting her love. She had thought she could save herself from heartbreak by pushing Nicholas away. But she knew now that her heart would break if she lost him.
"Yes, I love him." The hot tears behind her burning eyes finally spilled over. "Geoffrey, I am so sorry."
"Aurora… don't cry, please…"
Mutely she shook her head, torn at having to choose between loyalty and love. She had wanted to honor her pledge to marry Geoffrey, yet she knew she couldn't go through with it. She couldn't share her life with this man, no matter how much she cared for him. Not when her heart belonged so completely to Nicholas.
As she fought against her tears, Geoffrey sighed. "What a tangle fate has made of our lives," he murmured, his tone filled with irony. "Aurora… look at me, please…"
With a forefinger, he lifted her chin. "There is no reason for you to end your marriage." His smile was bittersweet. "I am honored you were prepared to sacrifice your future for me, my dear, but I couldn't let you make such a noble gesture. It wouldn't be fair to you, or to me, either. You would be miserable, and I would not be happy, knowing that you have feelings for another man. I want no ghosts in my marriage bed."
She swallowed convulsively, her heart twisting with hurt for him. "Can you ever forgive me?"
"Yes, of course I can forgive you, Aurora. We cannot choose whom we love."
"I do love you, Geoffrey. Just not the way you deserve." She forced herself to meet his gentle eyes. "You deserve true love, Geoffrey. Our betrothal… was always based more on friendship than love, on expedience rather than emotion. We never felt real passion for each other. Not the overpowering kind that starts wars and crumbles empires."
When Geoffrey took her hand, she wiped fiercely at her eyes, trying to regain control of her emotions. To her surprise, though, he no longer seemed troubled.
"I understand what you are trying to say, Aurora. True love is a fire in the heart. It is a joyous, wondrous feeling. A magnificent agony. It's being unable to eat or think or even breathe unless the object of your affection is near. It is not feeling whole without her…"
Taken aback by his quiet admission, Aurora stared at him, wondering how he could describe her own feelings so eloquently. "You sound… as if you speak from experience."
He smiled faintly. "I do. I am afraid I haven't been entirely truthful either, my dear. While I was in France, I fell in love."
Aurora's lips parted, but she remained speechless.
"There was a girl – a young lady – on the farm where I was nursed back to health. Her family was in hiding – aristos who survived the Terror. The eldest daughter… she was so kind, Aurora. I couldn't help loving her."
"Why did you not tell me?"
"For the same reason you didn't tell me about your change of heart. I didn't wish to hurt you. Moreover, as a gentleman, I could not be the one to end our betrothal. It would not have been at all honorable."
Slowly her mouth curved with a misty smile as she felt dawning joy well inside her. "So we were both trying to be noble."
"Evidently. I confess relief to learn that you have given your heart to someone else. It means I can ask Simone to be my wife. Here, dry your eyes so I won't feel quite so much guilt."
Her quiet laughter was muffled by the lawn handkerchief he handed her. Geoffrey's expression, however, remained solemn as she wiped away the dampness on her cheeks.
"If this past year has taught me anything at all, Aurora, it is that no one's future is certain. If you are ever fortunate enough to find true love, you shouldn't risk letting it slip away."
She nodded in fervent agreement, even while chastising herself for coming to that realization so belatedly. If Nicholas died tomorrow, she would be devastated, yet she would rather have even a moment's blazing happiness with him than a lifetime of the dull, gray existence she'd known before coming to love him.
She had never told him of her love. Like Desiree with her prince, she had never disclosed her true feelings until – Sweet heaven, she hoped she was not too late. Aurora drew a sharp breath as her heart experienced a jolt.
"What is it?" Geoffrey asked.
For a moment she hesitated, wondering if she could risk telling Geoffrey what she meant to do. But he had been willing to sacrifice his love for her, possibly mire his family name in scandal just to stand by her, because he wanted her happiness. She could trust him. He wouldn't harm the man she loved. "Nicholas is leaving tonight for America."