He stripped off all his clothes and wrapped himself in the only material available, which was the loose covering of a large sofa, and settled down to wait for thirty-five hours. I dream of a small fire-lit room, he thought. And this time the tears came easily.
When Hutchman awoke in the morning he had a pounding headache and a raw sensation in the back of his throat. Each breath he drew was a torrent of icy air ripping through his nasal passages. He sat up painfully and surveyed the room. The fireplace held nothing more than a handful of gray ash, and his clothes were still damp. Trying to suppress his shivering, he gathered up the wrinkled garments and carried them into the kitchen. He lit the oven of the cooker and all four burners, then force-dried his clothes, absorbing as much heat as possible into his body in the process. As he waited he developed a powerful craving for tea. Not the delicate Darjeeling he used to drink with Vicky — but strong, cheap, pensioner’s tea, served hot and sweet. A conviction stole over him that a pot of such tea would cure his headache, soothe his throat, and drive the pains from his joints. He searched the kitchen cupboards, but his unknown landlord had left nothing at all in them.
All right, he thought. If there’s no tea in the house, I’ll go round the corner and buy some.
The idea filled him with a childish, feverish delight. He had sworn not to open the front door until after he had fulfilled his mission in case there were watchers outside, but surely that was being too cautious. If he had been followed this far he would have known about it by now. He dressed quickly, savoring the bonus the new decision had brought him. It would be good to walk into an oldfashioned grocery, just as any other human being could, and smell the hams and the fresh bread. It would be so good to go through the commonplace human actions of buying tea and milk and sugar…
“Stands the church clock at ten to three?” he said aloud, in a stranger’s voice. “And is there honey still for tea?”
He pulled on his grayjacket and was walking to the door when he glimpsed himself in the hall mirror. His hair was matted down across a bearded face which was a death mask of Christ. He was red-eyed, dirty, rumpled, ill — and strange. Above all, he looked strange, a specter which could not fail to draw the attention of a friendly old grocer or anybody else who saw him even for a moment. There could be no question of his leaving the house.
“Is it a party in a parlor?” he demanded, bemusedly, of himself. “…Some sipping punch, some sipping tea; But, as you by their faces see, All silent and all damned!” The walls swayed toward him.
He walked upstairs toward his machine, and was surprised when he fell near the top and had to cling to the banister. I’m ill, he thought. I really am ill. The discovery brought with it a yammering fear that he might not be able to assemble the machine properly, or not be conscious to activate it at the appointed time. He squared his shoulders, went into the rear bedroom, and began to work.
Reality came and went at intervals during the course of the day.
At times his hands seemed to work quite capably by themselves, effortlessly checking the power pack and carrying out the highly precise task of setting up the laser and aligning the optical coupling. Offsetting this was the fact that other parts of the work which he had expected to complete with ease became dismayingly difficult. The aiming tube for the output ray, for example, was controlled by a clockwork motor and a gearing system which kept it pointing in the direction of the moon — the natural reflector Hutchman had chosen to disperse the radiation efficiently across the globe. His hands took care of the basic setting up of this section but when he opened the almanack he had included with the machine to get co-ordinates for the moon’s movements, the figures were near-meaningless jumbles. His concentration on them was marred by bouts of weakness, lapses when he could think of nothing but hot tea, and dreamlike spells when he visited the dappled landscape of the past. Vicky refusing to be consoled after a quarreclass="underline" “When people are angry they sometimes say things they really mean.” Walking with her in Bond Street when on the opposite pavement a woman opened an umbrella, a point of red which blossomed into a circle on one side of Hutchman’s vision, simulating the approach of a missile and causing him to duck instinctively and to understand — for the first time — why umbrellas should not be opened near horses. David falling asleep in his arms, wondering aloud: “Why does a one and a nought mean ten, and two ones mean eleven, instead of a one and a nought meaning eleven and two ones meaning ten?” Vicky scolding him: “Why don’t I believe in Oxfam? Listen, Lucas, when eleven million children die every year there’s no point in raising funds — the entire history of the planet is working against you.” Sipping whisky while the poplars darkened against the sunset…
With the machine assembled, the rest of the day passed more quickly than Hutchman had expected. He moved an armchair into the tiny kitchen and huddled close to the cooker, with his feet actually inside the oven. His feverishness and the gassy fug in the airless room encouraged him to doze, to skip in and out of real time. The dreams were clear, warm poo1s of remembrance in which he drifted at ease over the varicoloured shingles of the past, selecting and examining events as a diver picks up brilliant pebbles and lets them tumble slowly from his grasp. Sometime after midnight the dry pain in his throat dragged him upward into consciousness. He eased it with warm water heated in an old jam jar which had been lying in the corner of the yard, and tried to sleep again.
The obtruding knowledge that there were now less than twelve hours to go made it difficult. There was also the niggling realization that he should leave the vicinity of the cooker and go upstairs to the machine where there was less chance of his being overcome by a surprise attack. But if he went up there, he rationalized, he would be cold and might succumb to the illness which was racking his body. Foetus-folded into the chair, wrapped in stained linen, he tried to visualize the increasing tempo of activities to which he had driven other men.
The search would be at its height, of course, but that was no longer so important because now that he had reached the machine he was going to make it do its work, before the deadline if necessary. More vital was what must be happening at all those secret places across the globe where nuclear arms were stored. Hutchman was suddenly struck by the vastness of his own presumption. He knew absolutely nothing of the practical detail design of H-bombs — supposing that in his theoretician’s sublime ignorance he had not allowed enough time for the warheads to be broken down into sufficiently sub-critical concentrations? Even if he had given ample warning for technicians working in normal circumstances, what would happen in a Polaris submarine cruising below the Arctic icecap? And was it possible that a power which had been considering a nuclear attack against a hostile neighbour would be prompted to act while there was still time?