Lulu's mind begins to reel. She is embarrassed; discussing sex with one's parents is never easy. It is just not done in Chinese culture. So she tells her mother they are balloons. "Black balloons? Black is not a lucky color. Why do you have black balloons?" her mother keeps the questions coming.
Lulu cannot tell her mother that this is for girls who have fantasies of black men like her, so she has to make up an answer on the spot. "Mom, that is the most fashionable color. Don't you see that so many young women always love to wear black clothes?"
Her mother murmurs, "I also wonder why they smell like cherry."
Lulu cannot tell her mother that it actually tastes like cherry too. She dodges the question by saying, "Let's go get some red balloons for New Year's Day."
But the worst is yet to come. One day Lulu comes home. Nothing happens during dinner. They watch some TV, then they decide to go to sleep. Once they are in bed, her mother says bluntly and without warning, "Adult movies are not proper for unmarried girls like you."
This is a totally unexpected statement. "What do you mean?" But Lulu can already guess the rest.
Her mother scolds her, "I was putting away the laundry, and I opened the bottom drawer of your bureau. I found a collection of adult movies. Why do you have them? It's not right for you to watch movies like these. Only bad girls do that. You aren't married yet and you have to care about your reputation."
Lulu tells her mother that this is Beijing, not the small town she came from. People can watch anything they like, and it is not considered evil for a single woman to enjoy the privileges of married women. Lulu considers giving her mother some more detailed examples from her own love life but quickly decides against it.
Her mother shuts down and becomes quiet. Both of them toss and turn in the bed. A few hours later, Lulu, who is already half-asleep, receives a nudge from her mother. "Lulu, are you still awake?"
"What?" Lulu asks her mother in the darkness.
Her mother finally reveals the puzzle in her mind. "Lulu, I watched one of those videos. Do foreigners really do that in bed? That is so dirty!"
65 Sun-Tzu on the Art of Love
When her mother lives with her, the most awkward moment for Lulu is not that her mother throws her small sexy underwear away. Nor is it when her mother finds her adult video collection and black condoms.
"It's the moment when Chang calls from the United States and my mother picks up the phone," she tells me when we meet for a late cup of tea.
Chang is Lulu's childhood friend. At that time, Lulu was the best student in sports and academics. Moreover, she was able to speak perfect Mandarin, which was considered a symbol of status. Thus, she was deemed a princess. Chang was her quiet admirer.
By the time Lulu was admitted to the best university in Beijing, Chang had failed his college entrance examination. But he studied hard, joining Lulu in Beijing being his only motivation.
A year later, he got into the English program in the same university Lulu attended.
Since both were in Beijing, Chang thought it would be a good chance to develop their relationship. Lulu had never thought of him in a romantic way. After all, she had defeated him in virtually every arena, including height. Chang was too shy to proclaim his love and Lulu pretended that she didn't know he was enamored of her, so the two acted like normal friends.
After graduation, Lulu worked for Women ' s Friends in Beijing and Chang was hired by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs as an interpreter.
Six years pass.
Chang has become a promising diplomat working in the Chinese embassy in Washington, D.C. He was afraid of being a lonely celibate in the States, so before leaving for Washington, he selected a woman from among the many Chinese girls who dreamed of being the wife of a foreign diplomat. His wife is a traditional Chinese woman, thin, shy, quiet, worshipful of her man.
When Chang calls Lulu from overseas, there is much to catch up on. I imagine he wants to tell her about the beautiful cherry blossoms in Washington, the different ethnic foods along Embassy Row, the art galleries and museums and the charming Georgetown area… but Lulu isn't home. Instead, her mother answers the phone. She has seen Chang grow up. Hearing his voice from the other side of the earth, she almost burst into tears.
"Chang, I knew that you were such a good boy from the very beginning. I knew that you'd be so excellent some day. I always dreamed that you and Lulu would become a pair when you were young. But I didn't want to interfere because I thought kids should make their own choices. Before Lulu's father died, his biggest hope was to have Lulu bring him back a nice boy. Such a simple wish still hasn't come true yet. Chang, my good boy, tell me, what's wrong with our Lulu? Is it that she is not beautiful enoug h? Is she too independent? Is she too old?" Lulu's mother is really laying it on thick.
As her mother is talking, Lulu returns and overhears everything. She doesn't know what Chang's answers are on the other line. But it's clear that all those cold shoulders she gave Chang when they were young are now being returned. Chang finally has his revenge.
She feels a deep sense of defeat. All her previous victories over him, from grades to love, have just become history, with no current value. Henry Kissinger once said that the ultimate aphrodisiac is power. Between them, two friends and two rivals, she is the failure – and she has been betrayed by her own mother. It's a power game, reversed.
By the time she enters the room, her mother has just hung up. Lulu suppresses her rage, but her voice still trembles.
"Mother, even though I'm the lowest of the low, I thought that I still had my pride. But just now, my last shred of pride and privacy has been taken away!"
She later tells me, "Game, set, match, I just lost to Chang 40-Love."
Her mother tries to reassure her. "Totally submitting without pride is a winning strategy in Sun Tzu's Art of War."
Lulu is confused, not sure what an ancient general has to do with twenty-first-century love in Beijing. "What do you mean?"
Her mother smiles like a flower. "Lulu, I just used fake weeping to test him. He still has feelings for you. Can you win him back? I want to be the mother-in-law of a diplomat and see cherry blossoms in Washington, D.C.!"
As I listen to the stories of her mother, I think, Lulu's mother isn't as conservative as she thinks after all.
66 The Delicate Art of Bribery
Lulu lives in company-subsidized housing. Her three-bedroom apartment in Beijing 's upscale San Yuan Qiao neighborhood is worth 700,000 yuan. Recently she found out that the magazine she works for wants to sell the flat to a staffer – and she is being considered.
"I would like to buy it, but I can't afford it," Lulu tells Sukang, her boss.
"Yes you can. We are selling it for just seventy thousand yuan!" he replies.
"Really? Just one-tenth of its market price?"
"Yes," says Sukang winking. "As a perk for an employee."
Buying apartments and selling them cheaply to employees is common practice in China. Both employers and employees get a tax break. But normally it's 10 percent or 20 percent off the market value. Offering a place for one-tenth of the market value is rare indeed. Last year, ugly arguments usually erupted when there was a similar announcement. Four older, married senior editors almost went to war over one apartment offered way below market price. Now it could be her turn.
Sukang tells Lulu there are two other senior editors under consideration. "Who is chosen depends on your performance," Sukang says with a subtle smile. "This is the last time an offer like this will be made. I am your superior and you had better make me happy."
Lulu understands what Sukang means, but she has never been good at sucking up to her boss. She also knows that whoever gets the apartment will receive the equivalent of 640,000 yuan. It's a terrific deal. Later, she hears her competitors have already visited Sukang's home bearing expensive gifts.