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My father, Dr. Chen, is a devout Christian. He became a naturalized American citizen thirty years ago. After moving back to China, he takes part in the unofficial church service held by foreign nationals every year. He never fails to attend the service, and diligently sings all the Christmas hymns too.

A second way Chinese yuppies celebrate the Yuletide is to attend some Christmas parties in a foreign hotel, preferably five-star. If you manage to show up at such a party, it means that you have connections. These parties are often sponsored by big multinational corporations or prestigious international organizations. An invitation proves you travel in the elite circle. Beibei and her husband, Chairman Hua, are invited to such parties every year. Because they sleep in separate beds, it is no surprise that they go to these parties separately as well.

A third way: Cuo yidun, have a feast. The most desirable places for such feasts are the revolving restaurants atop the Great Wall Sheraton and the Citic building, at T.G.I. Friday's in Sanlitun, or at the Hard Rock Cafe. Taking your family or your friends to those places means you have a sense of fashion as well as some money.

Fourth: Exchange gifts that are beautifully wrapped.

Gifts are a big deal for the Chinese. They can be very picky about gifts. Often you try to please, but you end up insulting them. I know this very well. Six months before I headed back to China from the United States, I got nervous. I was going to celebrate my first Christmas holiday in Beijing as an adult. Everybody I knew in China expected me to bring nice gifts from the States. What gifts could please my parents and grandparents and demonstrate my filial piety? I called my friend Lulu from Berkeley for advice. After all, Lulu knows everything about new fads in China.

"Chinese nowadays are obsessed with tonics. Kids want to outsmart other kids. Twenty-somethings are trying to beat stress. Middle-aged women want to postpone their menopause; middle-aged men want to be as vigorous as they were when they were eighteen. Seniors want to stop aging. It's all about yangsheng, cultivating your body. So I would recommend American ginseng. Korean gingseng's nature is hot and American gingseng's nature is cool. Chinese prefer the American one. Also, Deep Ocean fish oil is a surefire winner." Lulu gave me the complete rundown.

Before I could find out where to buy Deep Ocean fish oil, Lulu e-mailed me again, "The new fashionable tonic is lecithin. It's good for high blood pressure. Forget about fish oil – it's totally passe now."

Four weeks later, I got another e-mail from her. "Apparently, even people like me can be outdated in this fast-changing world. Lecithin is not cool anymore. People are talking about the powder of crab shells, and ginkgo biloba. They are good for the brain. Everybody tries to get this stuff from the United States. I'm told the prices here are triple the prices in the States."

I had waited for a month. Receiving no new updates from Lulu, I bought these tonics made in the U.S.A., though Americans don't seem to care about them as much as the Chinese.

I'm not a fan of tonics – they are for older people. I wish to buy cooler stuff for friends. So I e-mailed Lulu again. "What about CDs, DVDs?"

"Don't mention CDs or DVDs. We have everything here on the streets. Remember, don't buy anything that says 'Made in China.' Find things saying 'Made in the U.S.A. ' or 'Made in France.' " Lulu would have gone on for much longer if I had the time to listen…

I drove to shopping malls. From shoes, bags, and toys to jackets and blouses, almost everything I saw is made in China. No wonder people say that China has become the workshop of the world. I was frustrated. Lulu hinted in her e-maiclass="underline" "Owning foreign perfume or having a small collection of foreign perfume is fashionable nowadays. But remember, brand names are important."

I eventually decided to buy cosmetics from Gucci, Yves Saint Laurent, and Estée Lauder, and returned to Beijing with a suitcase of tonics and perfumes.

My mother Mei is thrilled to see me. On Christmas Eve, she holds a big dinner party at her million-dollar house in Riviera Villa near the Airport Road to celebrate Christmas as well as my homecoming. My whole family comes: my stepfather Big John and his children, my half-sisters, Dad and my stepmother Jean Fang, my grandparents, Nanny Momo, Nanny Momo's family, and my friends Lulu and Beibei.

Mom has prepared Chinese dumplings and American turkey. I'm so lucky to have a great cook as my mother. With her cooking skill she won my father's heart many years ago when they first met in California. I distribute my gifts after the gourmet meal, as everybody picks their teeth or burps. Old relatives get tonics; young friends get a bottle of perfume. Everybody is happy.

I have learned that Nanny Momo has become a rock 'n' roll granny ever since she reached sixty. She likes to listen to disco music, learn English, go to pop concerts, go bowling with her grandkids. To please an old lady with a young heart, I give Nanny Momo both tonics and a big bottle of Estée Lauder eau de toilette.

Momo shows much more interest in Estée Lauder than the tonics. She wears her reading glasses and reads the English on the bottle of natural spray carefully. She points her finger at the words "eau de toilette," "This word, 'toilet,' means bathroom. I learned it last week from my English teacher." She says excitedly, "See, Americans are so rich. They put such beautiful bottles and nice-smelling water in their bathroom, I wonder what their living rooms and bedrooms smell like!"

POPULAR PHRASES

CHIHEWANLE: Eat, drink, play, and be merry.

SHENGDAN: Christmas. More of an excuse to eat and spend time with family than anything having to do with Christianity or Jesus.

QINGREN JIE: Lovers' Day – Valentine's Day.

KAN RENAO: Enjoy the scene.

CUO YIDUN: Have a feast.

YANGSHENG: Cultivate one's body to keep its balance and health.

SANLITUN: A neighborhood in Beijing that offers many entertainment places like cafe shops, restaurants, and bars; a place where young people love to hang out.

5 Royal Desire

Since settling in Beijing, I've found that making friends is effortless here. With a cell phone in my pocket, I receive phone calls and invitations to parties and dinners almost every day. But the friends I've made are mainly single girls like me. Meeting men of quality is so much more difficult than meeting women of quality in Beijing. But after getting out of a messy relationship back in the States, I am in no hurry to enter another one.

My new best friend besides Lulu and Beibei is CC. Like me, CC is also a returnee who has lived quite a long time overseas. Many Chinese think of her as a Chinese royal-to-be.

It's true that communism is supposed to advocate egalitarianism. It's true that the last emperor of the Manchu dynasty was driven out of the Forbidden City at the beginning of the twentieth century and ever since China has been a republic. It's also true that the Chinese desire for royalty has never died out. A privileged minority can always enjoy royal treatment. Some political scholars describe Mao as a royal peasant. If you turn on Chinese TV, any channel, you will be bombarded by endless soap operas that depict life inside the imperial palace, mainly stories about the Manchu royal families. Princess Pearl (Huanzhu Gege), Emperor Kangxi, Emperor Qianlong Going South Uncovered, the Empire of Kangxi, and so on. Books about ancient emperors sell millions of copies. An author named The River of February who specializes in royal families is now the richest author in China. It seems that people just can't get enough emperor stories.