Lulu feels more at ease on the other end of the line. "After all, everybody else is doing it. What the heck? It's karma perhaps. I was wronged and now I'm getting paid back."
A few days later, I hook her up with a Hollywood-based Chinese film agent named Doug who is looking for cross-cultural projects.
We meet at Factory 798.
"The story line is great. A Chinese man is dumped in France by his Chinese wife and then he goes back to China and becomes a womanizer who takes revenge on Chinese women. You have done a great job exploring the psyche of Chinese women who abandon their Chinese husbands after moving to the West and the sense of defeat that Chinese men have in the West. But your story is not sad enough!" Doug tells this to Lulu as soon as we sit down, showing his American impatience.
"What do you mean?" Lulu asks.
Doug continues. "From Hollywood 's perspective, if a movie is about China and it is not about kung fu, it needs to have some cultural flavor. The sad cultural and political situations in other countries often make American audiences feel guilty about their own comfortable lifestyle. As long as you can pull on Americans' heartstrings, it will sell. So I suggest that you add in more about the low status of Chinese women. It's best to include the topics of prostitution and foot binding."
"But my story is a modern-day story. How can I write about foot binding? It's no longer practiced in China?"
Doug laughs. "What about creating an older woman whose feet were bound – the male character's grandmother or great-grandmother, for example. The whole point is to show how backward China was. "
"What about prostitution? Why is it needed?" Lulu asks.
"Nowadays, even a Nobel laureate says that prostitutes inspire him. You see, many Western men come to Asia to get cheap sex. So create an intriguing Chinese prostitute."
Lulu's anger is quite visible as she gets to her feet. "Doug, Richard Mason wrote The World of Suzie Wong fifty years ago. You Hollywood dream merchants need to update your collections."
Lulu then gives me a broad wink as she says, "Let's go, girl. We have to meet Beibei at the opium den."
The two of us giggle as we walk off arm in arm.
79 The Ups and Downs of Female Friendship
People say that making friends becomes more difficult as we grow older. Friendship between women is tricky. Women can be compassionate, sympathetic, and giving, but at the same time, we can be catty, jealous, and moody. At a certain point in our lives, we all crave friendship to some degree. When it comes to friends, there have never been too many.
Beibei, CC, Lulu, and I are four girlfriends who have been confidantes for some time. We talk, listen, and help one another. One reason that we get along so well, according to Beibei, is that we come from similar family, financial, and educational backgrounds.
But lately, I have a burning desire to make friends outside of my own clique – even among people who are opposite to me. I don't know why. Perhaps friendship also has a seven-year-itch cycle.
Twenty-something May May, one of my interviewees who works as a secretary at a foreign enterprise, wants to be my friend.
We start to hang out.
May May likes to talk about herself. Being a journalist, I enjoy being a good listener. May May thinks she is fashionable and likes to criticize me from time to time.
"Your clothes make you look fat," she comments out of nowhere.
"Your hair is wrong. Short hair doesn't go well with your facial structure."
At first, I take it as constructive criticism. After all, I'm tired of the superficial, meaningless compliments of Americans. But I soon find out that every time May May scolds me, she adds, "You should look like me." The latter part annoys me sometimes.
Nevertheless, I want to test my limit. Although I don't think of May May as gorgeous, I never object when May May becomes self-indulgent. But there was one time that I felt very awkward. As we are having dinner, she tells me, "Niuniu, can we switch seats? That weird guy has been staring at me since we walked in. I don't know why this type of thing always happens to me."
I agree. As I sit in May May's seat, I notice a man who is looking this way. But it is so obvious that he is looking at the clock on the wall. No doubt, May May is a narcissist. But, I think, who is not? Every young woman is a bit like that. If I want to make friends with her, I should look at her positive side.
But apparently, May May is not only narcissistic but also competitive. If I wear a Bebe T-shirt to dinner, next time May May wears the same T-shirt in a different color. If I carry a new cell phone, May May will make sure to bring a newer model next time. Once I take May May to the Rose Garden, where she has never been before. A few weeks later, she brings me back to the Rose Garden. "You should thank me for taking you to this in place," she says, as if doing me a favor.
"Wait a minute. I was the one who took you here," I think, but I check myself. What's the point? After a cup of English tea, I leave the bar. After I get home, I call my friend Lulu right away, recounting the story.
"May May is typical of the one-child generation," says Lulu. "Their problem is that they want to be number one. They see everyone as rivals, not friends. They've lost their ability to keep friends."
80 The New Chinese Woman
Human beings have their own rules for games. It doesn't matter what culture we are living in, there are certain rules we all observe. For example, we should not sleep with our bosses. We should not sleep with our girlfriends' boyfriends. And we should not sleep with married men, in their bedrooms or anyplace else.
China has been a conformist society for too long. Perhaps that explains why the new generations want to be different. They defy conformity by breaking the rules and testing the limits. But sometimes, they challenge the rules set not only by Chinese standards but by Western standards as well.
May May is such a rule-breaker. She doesn't believe in the existence of limits. She has many hobbies, one of which is sleeping with middle-aged M.B.A.s – men who are married but available.
She tells me about her theory in a hot-pot restaurant called the Imperial Mama. "Young men are like grapes and middle-aged men are like wine. Their bellies may grow bigger, and the number of hairs on their heads may become fewer, but they are more attractive; they make me feel intoxicated."
"Why is that?" I ask. I come from a different school of thought. As a woman who is reaching her thirties, I become more and more interested in younger men, the so-called boy toys.
"Middle-aged men tend to be more generous in bed than younger men, who often don't want to control their desires. Middle-aged men tend to be more successful financially. They can buy you expensive gifts, whereas young boys can only send you flowers or a box of chocolates. Since middle-aged men have been around, and they have more status and more networks, they can help you with your career. They also understand women and know very well how to please us." May May speaks as if she is giving a lecture at a university.
I say, "Well, what you say might explain why you love middle-aged men, but it doesn't explain why you always go out with the married ones."
May May laughs. "Don't you think that middle-aged M.B.A.s are a more desirable group than those who are still single?"
"That can be true in China." I nod.
May May continues with a smile. "Our parents' generation is the generation of obedience. I like to live on the edge. I like to sleep with married men because the thrill of stealing makes the sex even more exciting! It's so cool to do it in their own bedrooms during the day when their wives are at work."