When Caroline was in such a mood, Louisa knew it was best to say as little as possible, but the truth was, Louisa did not agree with anything Caroline had said. The supposed plot sounded preposterous, and as for Mr. Darcy’s dislike of Miss Elizabeth, that was not what she had seen at all.
For her part, the evening had stirred memories that were both sweet and painful as she recalled the early days of her courtship with Mr. Hurst. They had passed notes in secret and had exchanged looks and talked in generalities only they understood, and it had been such an exciting time in her life. And because it had happened to her, she recognized it in others. She was less sure of the depth of Miss Elizabeth’s regard for Mr. Darcy, but as for the master of Pemberley, he had totally failed in his attempt to hide his love for the nobody from Meryton.
Chapter 34
On the carriage ride back to the inn, Lizzy would have preferred silence to conversation so she might go over in her mind the events of the evening. She wanted to preserve forever the memory of having dined on the finest china in an elegant dining room of the softest green with candlelight reflecting off a crystal chandelier that had been custom made for Lady Anne Darcy in Venice. That experience alone would have been a golden memory, but to know that Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy wanted her to be the mistress of Pemberley, the most beautiful home she had ever been in, quite overwhelmed her. Her awe at her surroundings brought on a rare experience for Lizzy: a loss for words.
“That certainly was an interesting evening,” Mr. Gardiner began as the driver started down the gravel drive.
“How so, my dear?” his wife asked, yawning, a little surprised that her husband was taking the lead in the conversation. He usually had very little to say about social gatherings.
“Well, let me begin with the Hursts. I would not say they dislike each other. It is more on the order of a total lack of interest, which is not difficult to understand on Mrs. Hurst’s part. Once he realized we were not to play cards, Mr. Hurst had no interest in anything other than the wine. If it had not been for the occasional grunt or belch, I would have thought he had fallen asleep.
“In contrast to Mr. Hurst, I found Miss de Bourgh to be delightful, and she gave no indication that she lived shut off from the world in an ivory tower in Kent. She was well informed as to politics and literature and the adventures or misadventures, as she called them, of the Prince of Wales. As for the young Miss Darcy, I was more than a little impressed with her finesse in conversing with Miss Bingley, who seemed to be out of sorts during the meal. Despite her mood, it did not prevent Miss Bingley from expressing her opinion on just about everything, and the interesting thing was, her opinion changed from room to room. She did not like Scotland in the dining room but wanted to visit the country while in the music room, nor did she like the color yellow until Miss Darcy pointed out that the drawing room was yellow, and then she liked it.
“I felt that I had done my duty with so difficult a companion, so when we went into the music room, I sat where I would not bear the responsibility of carrying the conversation. But I could still hear her. She was unhappy with her sister’s selection of a ballad, the lowest form of song to her mind, and one that anyone with a modicum of talent could play or sing. Oh, sorry, Lizzy. I thought you performed beautifully.”
“Please do not apologize, Uncle. It is no secret that Miss Bingley does not like me. She believes I promoted a union between her brother and Jane, which I did, and considering the social chasm separating the Bingley and Bennet families, she was offended because I had presumed too much.”
“Well, that is good for a laugh,” Mr. Gardiner said. “Mr. Bingley’s father began life as a blacksmith, but grew wealthy as a result of a smelting process he and his father had invented. Mr. Bingley was telling me, with great amusement I might add, that he remembered his father’s fingers being permanently blackened because he was always at the forge doing experiments. He also said venturers would come from London to see demonstrations of the process, and Old Grandpa would deliberately chew and spit tobacco so that they would keep their distance. Bingley’s father sired a brood of nine, and after he had made his fortune, he packed the whole lot of them off to be educated, girls and boys alike, which is why Miss Bingley is so knowledgeable, although it does not explain Mrs. Hurst.
“The eldest son, George, went to Oxford, and apparently is a financial genius. He took a modest fortune and turned it into an empire, which is what pays for the house in town and the clothes and the horses. Well, it obviously pays for everything for the three youngest Bingleys and possibly the other five as well. Mr. Bingley added that his father never traveled farther south than York, was unchurched, and unlike his daughter, had no social pretensions whatsoever.”
By that time, they had arrived at the inn, and both Gardiners immediately retired and left Lizzy alone with her thoughts. As soon as she was under the covers, her mind returned to Mr. Darcy, and she went over every minute, every word, every gesture they had shared. The previous day, her aunt had asked if she loved Mr. Darcy, and she had answered that she did not know. That was no longer the case. When he had said that the beauty of Pemberley needed to be shared, he had looked right into her eyes, and it was then that she knew the answer. Yes, she was in love, and now that she had surrendered to her true feelings, she realized that she was truly and deeply in love with Mr. Darcy. And with that realization came wisdom. She better understood why he had fought against his own feelings. It was a humbling experience to trust one’s heart to another, but by shedding his reserve, he had revealed the caring and loving man beneath.
And with all she had seen and heard and tasted, it was how she felt when Mr. Darcy took her by the hand and had escorted her to the music room that she wanted to commit to memory. In those few short minutes, she felt the physical side of being in love, and she had wanted him to take her in his arms and to kiss her. And that was what was on her mind while singing the ballad. Had he noticed that the verses were out of order? If he had, did he realize it was the effect he had on her that was the cause of her error? Elizabeth fell asleep wondering if tomorrow during their ride to the Peak there would be some time, even a few seconds would suffice, when she would feel his touch once again.
While Elizabeth was thinking of embraces and kisses, Darcy was trying very hard to put them out of his mind. During the time Lizzy was confusing verses, he was picturing the two of them making love in different rooms in the house. To avoid complete embarrassment, he had wisely decided to wear trousers instead of breeches, but this could not go on much longer or he would explode. There was a time in the distant past when he would have been able to exercise the droit de seigneur. As lord of the manor, he would have demanded that the Bingleys leave Pemberley immediately and that the Gardiners return to London without their niece, but with Anne and Georgie. And then they would make love until hunger finally drove them to seek nourishment.
This was reminiscent of his time with Christina Caxton when they had made love across the breadth of France. At the time, he was a young man of twenty-one, and it was a delight he had never before experienced. But since assuming guardianship of his sister, he had exercised an abundance of caution in everything he did, but he was a man and not a monk. So he had discreetly sought companionship and relief with the widowed Mrs. Conway, until his idiot cousin, Lord Fitzwilliam, had revealed to The Insider that he had remained with the lady until dawn. The irony was he had stayed so late so that he might share with her that he had fallen in love, and as a result, their time together had come to an end. He thought so highly of his friend that he did not want her to learn of it from anyone else. As always, she was gracious and asked about Elizabeth. As the daughter of a coal exporter from Bristol, she was surprised but pleased when she learned that the lady he hoped to make his wife was the daughter of a gentleman farmer.