The smart thing after leaving Rafe would have been to kill him. No one else but Blue Rim and her siblings knew how she’d come to be. Erin’s ‘childhood’ had rushed by her in a blur of animated lessons and chemically stimulated cell development. After a year, she’d advanced to the physical level she currently maintained, that of a healthy, mature female.
The next three years had been spent in constant training. Perhaps that was why Canunn had insisted that she, Anin and Ryen forge close ties. Despite some common genetic factors, none of them were truly siblings. Yet that closeness—the love—between them all had made their constant tests bearable.
Love.
Erin sighed and sank to the ground, feeling astonishingly close to tears, not because of what she’d lost in her youth, but because of what she feared she might lose now. Rafe knew she was an unnatural thing. A Creation. He probably hated her now, and she wouldn’t be surprised to learn he’d summoned an Ari to take care of her. A Mardu assassination squad, the Ari could conceivably terminate her, with no one the wiser of her disappearance. Blue Rim might not be happy about her loss, but they’d deny all knowledge of her if Rafe made known the fact that he’d ordered a Creation killed.
Depressed, Erin wondered if she and Rafe might have continued their association if she hadn’t confessed her ugly truth. She knew she’d given him pleasure. That dreamy state of repletion they shared had been as close to descriptions of a heavenly afterlife as she could imagine. To feel such closeness to another physically, and to have that magnified emotionally…she didn’t know how to feel. In sharing her body, Erin suspected she’d also shared her heart, something she’d never thought to experience outside of her own family.
For all that Anin had relayed details about sexual intercourse to Erin, she’d never explained the hunger, that fiery sensation of what Erin now knew to be lust, or the emotional upheaval that came from succumbing so fully to another. With Rafe, Erin didn’t want to submit, she needed to submit. And that giving made her feel a part of him. She’d thrilled to the quick when he’d demanded her obedience and given her pleasure. Odd that Anin had never mentioned the same feelings with Synster, when Erin knew how very many times the two had copulated.
As Erin thought about Rafe, her loins tingled, and amazed she could feel lust in such a tired state, she smiled. Perhaps she wasn’t as different from natural women as she’d once thought. Obviously, her ability to attract others and call upon certain preternatural skills made her different. But if Erin could feel sexual hunger and, to an extent, what she thought might be true affection for another not her family, then maybe she could fit in with society as a whole once she put this mess behind her.
Sadness hit her hard, and she felt a pain in her chest. Rubbing the ache, she realised that
‘this mess’ included Rafe. In order to have a real life, she could never see him again. Since killing him wasn’t an option—she wanted to cry just thinking about it—she would have to move herself and her siblings to a remote planet, maybe even an asteroid, and live out the rest of her life there.
She could still enjoy freedom, and the knowledge that Anin and Ryen now had the ability to live freely as well brought her joy. But for some reason, thoughts of a life without Rafe bothered her more than she could bear.
And maybe this is why Canunn forbade sexual intercourse. Perhaps, the logical part of her mind argued , this attraction you feel for another male is what most females feel for someone they’re compatible with. Anin doesn’t feel anything for Synster, but maybe if she found someone like Rafe, she’d have similar feelings of despair and anxiety when finished mating.
Erin dearly wished she had another female to confide in, but she’d promised Anin and Ryen no communications until she’d destroyed Blue Rim. They remained in a safe place for the moment, with Ryen guarding Anin every second of the day. Taking her from Synster had been difficult, and without a Handler, Anin didn’t know how to behave. But slowly, Ryen was teaching her to be more independent. Personally, Erin didn’t see her sister ever being able to live on her own, but with Ryen and Erin with her, she wouldn’t have to.
Sudden thirst overwhelmed Erin’s thoughts, and as her body adjusted to this new rest period, it made its needs known. After tending to her bodily functions, Erin used the nearby stream to clean herself as best she could. She ate sparingly of the small stash she’d taken with her, and used only minimal drinking water. The microbes in the river would cause havoc with her digestive tract, a flaw Canunn had never been able to fix, though he thought he had.
Erin and her siblings had kept silent about their sensitive stomachs, not wanting to handle more of the disgusting tests that might have plagued them had Canunn known of their persistent intolerance for the microbes. And thank the universe for that.
Erin returned to her spot at the tree and found herself blinking to stay awake, uncomfortably aware she needed rest. But certainly the miles she’d put between herself and Rafe gave her the time she’d need to recuperate. Regardless, her body wouldn’t move without a break. She needed to rebuild her lost energy stores.
Stubbornly resisting sleep until she couldn’t function a moment more, Erin sighed and finally succumbed to slumber, thoughts of Rafe’s touch bringing a smile to her face. In her dreams, he stroked her forehead, her chest, her wrists. With loving hands, he tied her up and had his way with her. And the fantasies she never knew she had just kept coming…
Rafe stared down at her Erin with concern until he registered the pattern of sleep in her breathing. Apparently, the pace she’d pushed herself to had put her in a deep, even sleep. He gently removed her long jacket and set it down on a smooth portion of ground next to her.
Taking a small piece of cloth from his bag, he wet it in the stream and ran it over her perspiring face and neck, combing his fingers through her silky red-black hair as he laid her down on her jacket and away from her uncomfortable looking position against the tree.
This close, and since he was looking for it, he could see the absence of imperfections in her features that one might classify as ‘unnatural’. No one had skin so smooth, creamy and sparkly. A body so incredibly perfect, both athletic yet shapely. Flor, but just looking at her made him hard, his wired-body not understanding it needed rest and not sex with Erin.
In sleep she radiated peace, and as he touched her, she surprised him by sighing his name. He narrowed his gaze, wondering just where he stood with her. She’d been eager enough to leave him before, yet he featured in her dreams?
Her lips parted on another breath, and her breasts drew his gaze like a magnet. Without the encumbrance of her jacket, he could see the firm mounds he hadn’t given his full attention to, a situation he meant to rectify.
Rafe dug in his pack for some food for himself, as well as the rope and oil he’d purchased at the trade tower. As he ate and drank, he studied Erin, wondering why this woman, of the multitudes he’d met in his lifetime, affected him so deeply. He didn’t really know much more about her than her body and that she was in a world of trouble. But he understood his need to help her. For all that she possessed an uncanny strength, when Erin looked at him, he saw the vulnerability in her multihued gaze she tried to hide.
It couldn’t have been easy being raised in a laboratory…unless she had parental figures? Frustrated at how little he actually knew, Rafe resolved to get answers. He wanted to know more about her. And once she woke, he wouldn’t stand for anything but the truth.