Did you really think he had changed? Did you really think he meant all those things he said, those sincere-sounding things, and meant them so much that he would forget about any woman other than you?
But the problem was that I hadn’t realized that I did think those things until it was too late. I had thought myself so blasé, so indifferent, and then I saw Silas with Mercy and discovered that all along I’d been harboring the hope that something had changed. That maybe he’d arrived here in London just in time to whisk me away from this nightmare.
Oh, how wrong I’d been.
And then he had the nerve to tell me that he loved me!
A little scream of frustration tore from my throat, and I kicked at the hedges with every ounce of strength I could muster, which only resulted in getting my skirt and my new white boot tangled in the tiny, twisting branches.
“Fuck!” I yelled, tearing at the fabric. “Fuck!”
“That’s a good way to ruin a dress,” a voice said from behind me, and everything in my stomach and chest collided into a dense ball of iron, and then sunk to my feet, where it threatened to explode.
I wanted to whirl around and scream at him, or reach out and hit him. But then he was kneeling in front of me, his long fingers skillfully unhooking my skirt from its hedge prison.
“What are you doing here?” I challenged.
“Looking for you,” he replied honestly, glancing up at me with those crystalline blue eyes before looking back down to my dress. His palm moved up from my ankle to my calf to support my foot while he extricated the boot. And even through my stockings, I felt the heat of his skin like a brand. Something deep within me tightened and twisted. It was something like lust, but a much, much deeper itch than lust.
Hating my traitorous body’s reaction, I abruptly withdrew my leg from his hold. “I thought if I gave you my safe word, you would stop pursuing me,” I muttered, more to myself than to him, but he must have heard, because he finished unhooking my skirt and stood up, his expression guarded.
“You’re right,” he admitted. “But I had to see you one more time. I had to talk to you.”
“What could there possibly be to talk about?” I asked, keeping my voice cold to hide the heat that flamed in my deep in my stomach.
“I saw Mr. Cunningham,” he said, and that hateful name was like a bucket of ice water on my desire. I hugged myself and backed up a few steps.
Silas didn’t chase me, his features uncharacteristically serious. “We talked about marriage. And Hugh. And he rejected my suit entirely.”
“You asked him if you could marry me?” I asked.
“Well, if the board would support my suit for you, yes.”
“And this was after you had Mercy Atworth fucking you with her mouth. You still thought you would try to marry me.” My voice was flat, and I didn’t care. Let him think I was completely unaffected by him. Let him remain oblivious to the turbulent waves of heartache and lust he stirred in me.
“Yes.”
“Goddammit,” I swore. “Why? Why can’t you just leave me alone? Isn’t life bad enough without you coming back here and breaking my heart all over again—”
I broke off, suddenly realizing that I’d inadvertently revealed too much, and there was no hope that Silas had missed my slip, because he was now pacing steadily toward me, a dark cast to his face.
“What did you say?” he asked, his long legs covering the distance between us. I felt like a gazelle slowly being circled by a lion.
He thought he could intimidate me? Fuck him. “You heard what I said,” I said defiantly.
Something between a growl and a hiss rumbled up from his chest.
“Say your safe word, Molly,” he said, coming closer. “Tell me to stop.”
God, that face, with that chiseled jaw and those carved cheekbones and the firm, masculine lips that were currently pressed together in determination.
“What are you going to do?” I dared. “Fuck me until I say yes to marrying you? There’s not a chance in hell, especially after you and Mercy—”
“Say. Your. Safe. Word.” His voice was almost menacing, almost mean, and Lord help me, I felt my response to that dampening my thighs.
“No,” I said haughtily. “I won’t.”
He was on me then, his arms like steel bars around my back, pressing me close to him. I was forced to lift my face to see his; he glowered down at me, his eyes like the heart of a flame, hot and blue and deadly. The last time he’d looked at me like this, like he wanted to eat me alive, had been last year…
“Say it,” he demanded. “Make me stop.”
Was it stubbornness or lust that made me dig in my heels? I wasn’t sure. But I could feel his erection grinding into my corseted stomach, feel the possessive way his hands roamed across my back, until he dug his fingers into my hair and forced my head back even farther. My pulse pounded everywhere—my exposed throat, my wrists, my empty, wet cunt.
It pounded for him.
“I’m not saying it,” I said. “You can’t make me.”
“Oh, is that the game?” he growled. “I have to make you?”
He bent his head down and nipped at my throat, and my whole body sang. Sang with righteous fury and pent-up resentment, maybe, but it sang nonetheless, singing for him and him alone. The nip turned fierce—a real bite—and I hissed, raising my hands to shove him away even as my center clenched with want.
He caught my hands before I could push him, and then his mouth was on mine, searing and marking and angry. Why he was angry with me, I didn’t know, except that maybe we were always destined to be angry with one another. And then his mouth parted my own with insistent, needy force and his tongue slid against mine, licking and fluttering and plundering my mouth.
My knees seemed unable to hold my weight, and without breaking our kiss, he reached down and hooked his arm behind my legs and I was swept up into his arms. He carried me to a nearby bench and sat down, and for a moment, I felt the twin tugs of desire and disappointment. The kiss was deep and urgent and I never wanted it to end…but I couldn’t have this with Silas. This greenery and blue sky and this pleasant bench in the cooling shade—this was what lovers did and we were not lovers. We were…something else, maybe. But not that.
Then he pulled away and in the space of an instant, I caught his blue eyes, as dark and inscrutable as the midnight sky. And then I was summarily flipped over onto my stomach on his lap, my forearms braced on the bench and my feet hanging off the other end.
“Silas,” I protested, struggling, and he pressed a firm hand on the small of my back as the other worked to lift up my skirts. I realized what he was doing a second too late; his palm cracked against my ass with a noise that rang through the maze.
“No!” I shrieked. “Let me go!”
His hand on my back held me tightly in place. “You know what you have to say, Molly. Say it. Say it, and I’ll stop.”
I froze. Saying it was admitting defeat, and I hated defeat. I liked to win—I loved to win, and if Silas thought he could spank the safe word out of me, he was dead wrong. Besides, there was the way that my ass felt after the slap—warm and glowing—and the way my breathing sped up as he shifted under me and the way that my nipples tightened as his fingertips ran lightly over my thighs.
But.
But.
I wasn’t used to being spanked. Hell, I wasn’t used to being dominated at all, had never let a man run my body this way, not since Mr. Cunningham had bought my virginity from me for five hundred thousand pounds when I was fourteen.
You’d never let a man since Cunningham…until Silas last year.