CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
We sailed into Jokja water a few weeks later, on calm seas and high winds. A trio of royal ships were waiting for us, the Jokja flag fluttering against the bright blue sky.
“What the hell?” I asked. Me and Marjani were up at the helm, looking out for the sparkle of Arkuz on the horizon. Marjani smiled.
“Saida,” she said.
“You sure? I dunno, I usually see navy ships, I either fire the cannons or run.”
Marjani laughed. “I don’t think either of those actions will be necessary.”
We sailed up alongside the closest of the navy ships. The crew lined up along the railing and shouted and waved. Marjani shouted and waved right back.
The captain showed up, his green sash rippling like the sea. He gave us a wave. “We’re here to accompany you back to land!” the captain shouted, his voice rising and falling on the wind.
“Why?” I shouted back. “So you can arrest us?”
Marjani smacked me on the arm.
The captain shook his head. “By orders of the queen!” he shouted back. “She wanted to see you safely returned, and your boat docked with the royal fleet.”
When I looked over to Marjani she was glowing.
“Royal fleet, huh?”
“That’s why I’m handing her over to you,” Marjani said. “I don’t imagine this ship sitting well next to a bunch of Jokja schooners.”
I laughed at that, but really my stomach was turning somersaults at the thought of Marjani giving me the ship. She hadn’t made it official yet, hadn’t told the crew or nothing. I still didn’t see how this could go too well.
It took another hour to sail to the Azende Palace docks and get the ship tied down. Just as we were finishing up, a pair of palace guards showed up on deck and snapped their blades into a salute the way they did up at the palace.
“Can I help you?” Marjani asked.
“The Queen sent us,” the older guard said. “We’re here to watch over your ship.”
“Don’t need you,” I said. “Some of the crew’ll be happy–”
“Ignore her,” Marjani said, and she had that glow again. I wondered if that was what I looked like every time Naji came around. I hoped not. “We’ll be happy to make use of your services.” Then she turned to me. “Go tell the skeleton crew they have free run of the city. But,” and she touched me lightly on the arm, “they have to be back here at sunset, same as the rest.” She smiled at me, and the rest of that sentence hung unspoken on the air. For the exchange.
I sighed, but I did as I was told. The crew was certainly happy about it.
Marjani was waiting for me on the dock along with Naji and another pair of palace guards.
“Let me guess,” I muttered, “more accompaniment.”
“Life at court,” Marjani said. “You’d get used to it, I imagine.”
“It wasn’t this bad before.”
Marjani shrugged.
We made our way through the palace gardens and into the queen’s sun room. She was pacing in front of the big open windows when we walked in, the sunlight setting all her jewels to sparkling. When she saw Marjani she cried out, lifted up her skirts, raced across the length of the room, and caught Marjani in her arms.
“Jani,” she murmured, burying her face in Marjani’s shoulder. “The fortuneer said you were drowned – she saw a wave crash over your boat. I sent out men to look for you, but we hadn’t heard – and the sentries were only there on the off-chance–”
Marjani cupped Queen Saida’s face in one hand and kissed her, gentle and soft. Saida gazed at her, tears sparkling on the ends of her lashes. For a moment, no one in the sun room moved.
“I really thought you were dead,” Queen Saida whispered. “And it was like when you left before, only worse, unending–”
“I’m not dead,” Marjani told her.
“It’s going to be like this every time you–”
“I won’t be leaving again,” Marjani said.
Queen Saida pulled away, stared at her. “I thought you were a… a pirate now.”
Marjani smiled. And then she shook her no. “No, I was never a pirate. Not really.” A long breathless pause. “I’m staying.”
My guts twisted up when she said that, not cause of her making me the new captain but because I wanted Naji to say those words to me more than anything, “I’m staying”, and he wouldn’t, I knew he wouldn’t. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye: he stood very still, his face a mask even though it was uncovered.
“You’re staying?” Queen Saida trembled. “You’re really staying?”
“Really. I’m really staying.”
“Oh, Jani, this is marvelous news!” She threw her arms around Marjani’s shoulders and kissed her. “I’ll tell the kitchens right away. We should have a feast–”
“I doubt the kitchens will be able to prepare a feast in the next few hours,” Marjani said. “And even if they could, it would be far too much work–”
Queen Saida ignored her; she just turned to one of her pretty attendants and said, “Send Najala up to meet with me. I want to discuss the menu.”
“Of course you do,” Marjani murmured, low enough that only I could hear her.
“Aw c’mon,” I said. “Not many of us get feasts thrown in our honor.”
“Yes, I suppose that does make the two of us members of a very particular club.”
I laughed. Marjani just shook her head.
But then Naji caught my eye, and my good mood evaporated. His expression was like the night sky during a full moon, dark dark dark, but in some ways bright enough to cast shadows.
I could feel Marjani looking at me. I knew she knew something was wrong. But she didn’t say anything, and Queen Saida was calling her away for preparations, and I slipped out of the sun room and down to the garden.
Naji knew not to follow.
The feast wound up being postponed, cause, like Marjani said, the kitchens didn’t have time to prepare everything to Queen Saida’s liking. All that meant was that Naji and me couldn’t stay for it. He needed to leave, needed to go back to the Order, back to Lisirra. And truth was I didn’t much want to stay in Jokja any longer anyway. Partly because seeing Marjani and Queen Saida made me sad, but partly too because of the way I’d missed the sea so bad during all my times on land. Papa used to talk about it with Mama, the way the sea meant more to him as he got older. Mama always said it was because of the sea’s magic, that he was finally feeling it.
And maybe I was finally feeling it too. I’d saved Naji with the sea’s magic. I’d saved him, just so he would have to leave me again.
I stayed out in the palace garden all afternoon, listening to the jungle creeping up along the other side of the fence, chatting with the guards as they changed positions, taking cover underneath the banana trees when the rains came. Naji never came around. I told him not to, in the whispers that still bound us together by blood and magic. I told him I wanted to be alone for a while, to think. And he honored that.
Although in my thinking I did, at one point, see just how well we were connected. I thought maybe it would come in handy, once he left and I sailed off to the merchant channels or the ice-islands or Qilar. It was during the rainstorm, and I was stretched out in the grass, rain beating against the wide, flat banana leaves. Everything smelled like soil. I closed my eyes and reached out with my thoughts. It didn’t take long.
He was in the palace library, pouring over some old Jokja text. I saw him like I was standing in the doorway, but he didn’t look up, didn’t greet me, at least not in the physical. Instead, I heard his voice in my head.
I thought you wanted to be alone.
I am alone. So are you.
For all I knew he was still reading that stupid book, but when I thought that he smiled. Just for a second.
Not so alone, he told me. You’re here.
Not really.