They started play on the Board of Origin, and at first Gurgeh thought the Empire was going to be content to rely on Bermoiya's obvious skill at Azad… but then, an hour into the game, the silver-haired apex raised his hand for the Adjudicator to approach. Together they came to Gurgeh, standing at one comer of the board. Bermoiya bowed. "Jernow Gurgey," he said; the voice was deep, and Gurgeh seemed to hear a whole tome of authority within each bass syllable. "I must request that we engage in a wager of the body. Are you willing to consider this?"
Gurgeh looked into the large, calm eyes. He felt his own gaze falter; he looked down. He was reminded momentarily of the girl at the ball. He looked back up… to the same steady pressure from that wise and learned face.
This was someone used to sentencing his fellow creatures to execution, disfigurement, pain and prison; an apex who dealt in torture and mutilation and the power to command their use and even that of death itself to preserve the Empire and its values.
And I could just say "No', Gurgeh thought. I've done enough. Nobody would blame me. Why not? Why not accept they're better at this than I am? Why put yourself through the worry and the torment? Psychological torment at least, physical perhaps. You've proved all you had to, all you wanted, more than they expected.
Give in. Don't be a fool. You're not the heroic sort. Apply a bit of game-sense: you've won all you ever needed to. Back out now and show them what you think of their stupid "physical option', their squalid, bullying threats … show them how little it really means.
But he wasn't going to. He looked levelly into the apex's eyes and he knew he was going to keep playing. He suspected he was going slightly mad, but he wasn't going to give this up. He would take this fabulous, maniacal game by the scruff of the neck, jump up on to it and hold on.
And see how far it would take him before it threw him off, or turned and consumed him.
"I'm willing," he said, eyes wide.
"I believe you are a male."
"Yes," Gurgeh said. His palms started to sweat.
"My bet is castration. Removal of the male member and testes against apicial gelding, on this one game on the Board of Origin. Do you accept?"
"I—" Gurgeh swallowed, but his mouth stayed dry. It was absurd; he was in no real danger. The Limiting Factor would rescue him; or he could just go through with it; he would feel no pain, and genitalia were some of the faster regrowing parts of the body… but still the room seemed to warp and distort in front of him, and he had a sudden, sickening vision of cloying red liquid, slowly staining black, bubbling…. "Yes!" he blurted, forcing it out. "Yes," he said to the Adjudicator.
The two apices bowed and retreated.
"You could call the ship now if you want," Flere-Imsaho said. Gurgeh stared at the screen. In fact he was going to call the Limiting Factor, but only to discuss his present rather poor position in the game, not to scream for rescue. He ignored the drone.
It was night, and the day had gone badly for him. Bermoiya had played brilliantly and the news-services were full of the game. It was being hailed as a classic, and once again Gurgeh — with Bermoiya — was sharing news-leaders with Nicosar, who was still trampling all over the opposition, good though it was acknowledged to be.
Pequil, his arm still pinned up, approached Gurgeh in a subdued, almost reverent way after the evening session and told him there was a special watch being kept on the module which would last until the game was over. Pequil was sure Gurgeh was an honourable person, but those engaging in physical bets were always discreetly watched, and in Gurgeh's case this was being done by a high-atmosphere AG cruiser, one of a squadron which constantly patrolled the not-quite-space above Groasnachek. The module would not be allowed to move from its position on the hotel roof-garden.
Gurgeh wondered how Bermoiya was feeling now. He had noticed that the apex had said «must» when he stated his intention of using the physical option. Gurgeh had come to respect the apex's style of play, and, therefore, Bermoiya himself. He doubted the judge had any great desire to use the option, but the situation had grown serious for the Empire; it had assumed he'd be beaten by now, and based its strategy of exaggerating the threat he posed to them on that assumption. This supposedly winning play was turning into a small disaster. Rumours were that heads had already rolled in the Imperial Office over the affair. Bermoiya would have been given his orders; Gurgeh had to be stopped.
Gurgeh had checked on the fate the apex would suffer in the now unlikely event it was he and not Gurgeh who lost. Apicial gelding meant the full and permanent removal of the reversible apex vagina and ovaries. Thinking about that, considering what would be done to the steady, stately judge if he lost, Gurgeh realised he hadn't properly thought through the implications of the physical option. Even if he did win, how could he let another being be mutilated? If Bermoiya lost, it would be the end of him; career, family, everything. The Empire did not allow the regeneration or replacement of any wager lost body parts; the judge's loss would be permanent and possibly fatal; suicide was not unknown in such cases. Perhaps it would be best if Gurgeh did lose.
The trouble was he didn't want to. He didn't feel any personal animosity towards Bermoiya, but he desperately wanted to win this game, and the next one, and the one after that. He hadn't realised how seductive Azad was when played in its home environment. While it was technically the same game he'd played on the Limiting Factor, the whole feeling he had about it, playing it where it was meant to be played, was utterly different; now he realised… now he knew why the Empire had survived because of the game; Azad itself simply produced an insatiable desire for more victories, more power, more territory, more dominance…
Flere-Imsaho stayed in the module that evening. Gurgeh contacted the ship and discussed his forlorn position in the game; the ship could, as usual, see some unlikely ways out, but they were ways he'd already seen for himself. Recognising they were there was one thing though; following them through on the board itself in the midst of play was another matter. So the ship was no great help there.
Gurgeh gave up analysing the game and asked the Limiting Factor what he could do about ameliorating the bet he had with Bermoiya if unlikely though it was — he won, and it was the judge who had to face the surgeon. The answer was nothing. The bet was on and that was it. Neither of them could do anything; they had to play to a finish. If they both refused to play then they would both suffer the bet-penalties.
"Jernau Gurgeh," the ship said, sounding hesitant. "I need to know what you would like me to do, if things go badly tomorrow."
Gurgeh looked down. He'd been waiting for this. "You mean, do I want you to come in and snatch me off here, or go through with it and be picked up later, with my tail but not much else between my legs, and wait for everything to regrow? But of course having kept the Culture sweet with the Empire in the process." He didn't try to disguise the sarcasm in his voice.
"More or less," the ship said, after the delay. "The problem is, while it would cause less of a fuss if you did go through with it, I'll have to displace or destroy your genitals anyway, if they are removed; the Empire would have access to rather too much information about us, if they did a full analysis."
Gurgeh almost laughed. "You're saying my balls are some sort of state secret?"
"Effectively. So we're going to annoy the Empire anyway, even if you do let them operate on you."
Gurgeh was still thinking, even after the delayed signal arrived. He curled his tongue in his mouth, feeling the tiny lump under the soft tissue. "Ah, fuck it," he said, eventually. "Watch the game; if I've definitely lost, I'll try and hold out for as long as possible; somewhere, anywhere. When I'm obviously doing that, come in; zap us off here and make my apologies to Contact. If I just cave in… let it happen. I'll see how I feel tomorrow."