All the following day I kept thinking about this incident. That night, after I’d prayed the evening prayer, I sat Sha‘ban down in front of me and had him share some food.
“This matter with Umm al-Banin and her brother is reaching a crisis point,” I said. “If I get involved, all sorts of rumors will start flying. What do you think?”
Sha‘ban sat there in silence till he had emptied his mouth. When he started talking, it was as if he had been saving his words for some time in anticipation of the right moment.
“Sir, the rumors have been flying ever since your first visit. I’ve been keeping the various bits of slander and sarcasm from you so as not to upset you too much. The best thing I can see for you to do is to marry her.”
“Marry her? Are you out of your mind? I’m almost sixty, and she’s not even thirty yet. Does that make any sense?
“There are a number of reasons why it makes sense. Just consider: firstly, you’ll put a stop to all the slander and abuse; secondly, you’ll be able to exert authority over her disaster of a brother; thirdly and most important of all, the woman is very fond of you and respects you. At first she admired you, but now she loves you. Go ahead and ask me, I know exactly what she has told me and in the clearest of terms. By God, no one loves you as much as she does. As far as the difference in age is concerned, my Master is well enough acquainted with the life of Our Lord, the Prophet, to render that irrelevant.”
Something else occurred to me too: if I married her, then maybe, with God’s permission, I would be able to fulfill my dearest wish for children. That way I could guarantee that my prayers for the very same thing on her behalf would not be wasted!
She certainly deserved to have a companion; indeed, she was worthy of everything that is good. She could take the place in my heart that had belonged to my first companion in mind and virtue, my first wife who had been swallowed up by the sea along with my children. Sha‘ban’s words had made that much clear to me. I asked him if he was sure she would not reject my offer of marriage.
“Reject your offer?” he replied in amazement. “If it were not for the bounds of propriety, modesty, and custom, she would have come running to ask for your hand. My dear blessed pilgrim, put your trust in God and fulfill your religious obligations as the law stipulates.”
Before doing anything else, I decided to settle the problem of Umm al-Banin’s brother by doing something decent for him. My notion was that he was really a poor wretch in need of some sympathy and help. I asked my servant to bring him secretly to a place in the Qarafah graveyard close by Hammu’s tomb. And one day, just before sunset, that is precisely what happened.
When I took a close look at his face, which was not made up this time, I could see for myself how downtrodden and desperate he looked, for reasons I did not know. He may have been a young man, but his body looked emaciated and his expression was one of total despair, the look of someone about to be hanged. Since I had previously had to deal with all manner of Arab tyrants and rogues and had sometimes even managed to win them over, I had assumed that it would be fairly simple for me to straighten him out. But this situation now seemed a lot more complicated. The young man was clearly disturbed and sick; there was no room for doubt on that score. Homilies about proper behavior would be no more use than entrusting him to the care of doctors specializing in psychological disorders. The worst crime of all would be to yell and scream at him or to chase after him like some rabid animal; that would only manage to extinguish the remaining vestiges of that light which burns inside every human being. The best way to keep that light burning and even improve its brightness was to nurture it carefully with kind glances and gentle words. Then maybe it would blossom and grow.
I asked the young man what his name was and how he was feeling. He responded in a clear, gentle voice. I questioned him about Fez and its inhabitants, and he replied in terse phrases. He outlined for me the rampant corruption and harsh existence that had led many young people to leave and other folk to develop all kinds of stratagems and uncouth behavior. He added that such circumstances did not exempt well-educated people like himself nor even professional tradespeople.
The young man clearly seemed a lot more relaxed, something that Sha‘ban may have helped bring about. Seizing the opportunity, I broached the topic of marriage.
“What would you say, Sa‘d,” I asked him quite openly, “about the idea of our becoming related by marriage?”
“Related by marriage? Do you have a daughter you’re offering me?”
“No! I’m the one who wants to get married. I would like your permission to marry your sister, Umm al-Banin. I’m asking you in front of the tomb of her first husband, my friend Hammu al-Hihi — God have mercy on him.”
“Umm al-Banin has spoken about you, blessed pilgrim, with a good deal of pride and admiration, so much so that it scares me sometimes. If she’ll accept you, all I can do is offer you my blessings.”
“Fine. Then, God willing, we will execute the vows and then look for ways to improve your situation.”
Clasping his shoulder, I slid a purse of coins into his pocket. His eyes gleamed with joy, and he kissed my shoulder. With that I left and headed for the stables, followed by Sha‘ban.
The beginning of Rajab in the year 790 was a date that I shall record in liquid gold and tears of joy; a date in a blessed month, one in which I felt I had been born again to find Umm al-Banin living in my own house. I had obtained two witnesses to testify to our marriage and organized a very simple wedding feast in the company of close friends and neighbors. God Almighty helped make all the arrangements very easy; even Sa‘d, her brother, calmed down and kept a low profile, as though he had come to terms with his own self.
In the light of this happy event, I have found myself in a state that I can only describe as being almost drunk on love. I am totally infatuated with my new wife and the aura she brings with her; infatuated with my own sense of vigor and well-being; infatuated with the signs of beauty wherever they appear — in the smiles of children, the singing of birds, the gentle breezes wafting over the hungry soul and the bodies of all mankind.
I am incredibly happy, O how happy!
So great is my happiness, that, if it weren’t for my Maliki beliefs and a God-driven determination never to pronounce the word “I,” I would abandon all restraint and let it take flight in a welcome to all people and things!
So great is my happiness that, if I were a better poet than I am, I would compose it on my beloved’s breast as garlands of light and passion!
As the saying goes: “Live in Rajab, and you’ll see a wonder!”
A wonder indeed is the way my entire existence has been transformed from its normal dullness and misery to circles of brightness and felicity!
A wonder indeed is the way time slips by like water between my hands!
A wonder indeed is that I no longer feel any pain in my joints, as though I never had any problem!
A wonder indeed is the return of my bodily desires after a prolonged period when I simply withdrew and abstained!
I have no doubt whatsoever that the person responsible for all these miracles and others is a woman; she it is who has lifted the curtain and served as catalyst, flooding waters, and great gift. But for her, I would still be displaying all the symptoms of depression and mourning; my desires and rights in life would all be bottled up inside me.
For all my shyness and my efforts at keeping things discreet, Umm al-Banin noticed the change in my demeanor and health. She took great pains to make me happy, and regularly prayed behind me, thanking God for His creation and blessings. Every Friday we both went to visit Hammu’s tomb and pray for his departed soul.