‘No! No! No!’ he blubbed, imploring her. ‘No more. Don’t! Don’t! Come on, let’s go home. I don’t want you to do this. I’m sorry, Zoe please, let’s just go.’
‘Hey, get off me,’ she protested, shocked, annoyed and clearly embarrassed. ‘Let me go!’
‘Zoe, no, you don’t have to do this. Please, you don’t have to do this.’
‘Don’t have to do this? This was your idea, remember?’ she yelled as the pair of them played tug-of-war with each other across the bed. ‘Get off!’
‘I’ve changed my mind, I’m sorry, please, let’s just go,’ he was crying. He was crying? Yeah, he was, he was crying. Tears were streaming down his face and his eyes were all puffy and red. Jesus mate, you’re going to wake up in the middle of the night and remember this day for a few years to come, I bet, I thought to myself with an inner smile.
‘Please...’ he was imploring her, crying more and more.
‘No, I’m doing it and that’s the end of... get off!’
‘I love you, I love you, please don’t. Zoe, no... boo-hoo-hoo,’ etc.
Me and Howard had stood back without saying a word but now it looked like it was time to step in. Howard gave me the nod and we both went and wrestled Scott away from her and the bed and bundled him towards the door. Scott struggled and screamed in protest and we only let him go when Zoe blocked our path and told us to leave off.
‘Let him go, it’s all right.’
Scott broke forward to hug her but she pushed him back and spelt it out plain and clear.
‘Now I’m doing this whether you like it or not, and I’m not doing this for you, I’m doing this for me. You don’t have a say in it, have you got that clear? And if you disturb us one more time I’ll be packing my bags tonight when we get home, do you understand?’ she said, finally getting his attention. ‘Now you’ve got a choice, either you can stay and sit quietly or you can go and I’ll meet you at home. What’s it to be?’
Go Go Go Go, I was chanting inwardly but Scott weren’t about to leave Zoe here alone with us and told her he wanted to stay.
‘No, I can’t have this, he’s got to go. I’m trying to run a business here,’ Howard objected but Zoe told him if Scott was forced to leave, she’d go too. I think Scott saw a glimmer of salvation with this but couldn’t work out how to exploit it so, in the end, we all resumed our positions and got back to work.
Not much to tell after that. Zoe stripped down nicely and we posed, positioned and photographed her from every conceivable angle, although the fun atmosphere from before was now somewhat spoilt by Scott’s gentle sobbing off in the corner. This didn’t do anyone any favours, least of all Zoe, whose smiles now looked papered on.
To pay Scott back for spoiling my first porn shoot, I got Zoe to do a load of pink shots (pulling herself open) and insertion stuff. We’d never use them in a million years but I just wanted to put Scott through the wringer a bit more.
When the last shot was taken, Zoe got dressed and filled out all the relevant paper work in exchange for a cheque. As she did this, Scott approached me and Howard and apologised to us for losing it in the way that he did and Howard gave him a brief lecture by way of response.
‘This is a professional industry, Scott. We’re not taking pictures of Zoe for titillation and thrills, this is how I make my living and this is precisely the reason I discourage boyfriends, husbands or any other chaperone from coming along. Not because I’ve got something to hide or because we want to force your girlfriend into doing something she doesn’t want to do, but because people who don’t work in the industry get all emotional and get in the way of professionals at work,’ he said, indicated to the pair of us.
Scott apologised again and Howard told him no harm done and shook his hand before he left. Zoe said goodbye and told us that she had enjoyed it but she didn’t know whether or not she was ready to make a career out of it just yet. She gave Howard and me a kiss on the cheek and her and Scott linked arms and left.
And as we watched them walk up the road and loop their arms around each other in reconciliation, Howard lit a fag and said, ‘Besides, if you hadn’t have been here mate, we could’ve both done your bird.’
7. Three’s a crowd
Now, I took what Howard said about us both being able to nail Zoe with a pinch of salt but it turned out he wasn’t exaggerating. Like I’ve said before, people were always asking me if I got to shag the models and the general answer was no because, by and large, I didn’t get to meet them. Most of my days were spent sat in front of a computer in the office, writing about how much I loved being taken hard up the arse by two truck drivers, while sucking off their mate on video (though I didn’t spend all day writing my biography, ha ha ha). It was the photographers who worked with the girls and, therefore, got the perks.
Take one photographer I knew: every new girl who came along to test shoot for him, he would ask them the same questions. Would they be prepared to do girl/girl? Most would say yes, that would be fine. Then he’d ask them if they’d be prepared to do boy/girl? Again, most would say yes. So then he’d pick up his camera, get his cock out and tell them, ‘off you go then’.
If the girl hesitated he’d explain that he wasn’t ‘going to fork out a load of money booking a make-up girl and a male model and reserving the studio for a day’s shooting on an untried girl who, for all I know, will probably run off at the first sight of a hard-on, am I?’ Then add, ‘come on girlie, this is a professional business so get your chops around it,’ and, hey presto, he’d get a blow-job off every girl who shot for him.
What a great scam!
And he wasn’t alone in this. A lot of photographers liked to make the most of their positions and who could blame them? Women have always used sex to get what they wanted and blokes have always used whatever they had to get sex. This was the natural order of things. It’s been going on since men lived in caves and will probably continue to do so right up until the hermaphrodites take over. The PC lobby won’t have this though and reckon we’re all equal in wants and desires but when was the last time one of them got a free one?
Me? I was just pissed off because I’ve never had anything anyone wanted.
However, all that asides, there have still been a couple of times when models have laid it on a plate for me – only for me to turn it down.
What? Are you joking? This sounds like bullshit. Nope, I’m serious and I’ll explain why and you tell me if you would’ve done any differently in my trousers.
See, the couple of times it’s been offered to me were very much under conditions and along the lines of how Howard had bade Zoe and Scott a fond farewell.
ie. ‘both of us.’
I was at a shoot a few weeks later, at Howard’s again, when Claire made me a definite ‘it’s on a plate if you want it’ pass. Claire was one of his Howard’s regular models and a sweeter, more lovelier girl you couldn’t wish to watch undress. Now, I’d been getting a few signals off her almost as soon as we started, with a bit of lingering eye contact here and a few suggestive remarks there, but I put this all down to the fact that we were just having a laugh, the wine was flowing and that Claire was very much at home with Howard. As the shoot went on though Claire’s come-ons became less and less easy to dismiss.
‘Get it out Godfrey, let’s have a look at it then. Come on, let’s see your cock.’
I’d stopped reading between the lines about five minutes earlier.
Claire was on a bed and she was playing with a selection of dildos for our Christmas issue (she had a Santa hat on) and she’d been getting a bit carried away with each of them and me and Howard had to keep telling her to withdraw them from herself so that we could take the shots we needed – Bling not being able to show penetration, you see. Well, Claire was quite full of high spirits and, in between Howard changing films, she would demonstrate them for real, right in front of me, purring away like a cat and holding my gaze until I turned away (which wasn’t happening too often).