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God I wanted to shag her so badly. She might not have been as stunning as Tanya or as cute as Cindy, and she’d need a little airbrushing around the tits before she could be printed, but she was still a looker, no question about it.

I had the film back in and was standing over her again, this time considerably closer.

‘Tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it,’ she said. ‘Make me do things.’

‘Pleasure yourself in front of me and I’ll take some pictures.’

WPC Kensington went straight into it. She whacked herself off more frantically than... well, I knew I would whenever I remembered this rainy Thursday in Tooting.

SNAP SNAP SNAP.

She was moaning like a banshee now and I was right there with her. I knew it was the wrong thing to do and that I was meant to be a professional but this was absolutely killing me. Okay, sure, yeah, it was probably a trap, but even if it was I couldn’t help but walk right into it.

‘Okay, right, listen,’ I grimaced, unbuttoning my flies, my heart absolutely smashing against my ribcage. ‘I just want to get some pictures of you with this in your mouth.’

WPC Kensington leant up and looked at my meat, then seized it like a girl possessed and stuffed it into her mouth. I’d never known such a wanton blow-job in all my life, so much so, in fact, that it made me wonder if this is how it would feel to be sucked off by a Velocirapter.

‘Oh God, yes!’ I called to the heavens as she worked me like a suction pump. SNAP SNAP SNAP.

WPC Kensington was so short of breath that it took her three attempts to tell me to take some pictures of me fucking her. I pushed her back on the bed as she ripped the shirt off my back and yanked my trousers and pants down, painfully twanging the old fella. As I climbed aboard I felt an overwhelming sense of relief that I was finally going to get to experience sex, rather than disappointment.

However, I should just say that the mind can play funny tricks on you. I know it sounds stupid, but even at this point, with me rogering her bandy, I still wasn’t one hundred per cent convinced that I was actually going to get to shag her properly. I’d gone through such a cruel drought (Tanya and Cindy aside) and known so many last-minute knockbacks that my mind refused to take for granted the fact that we were now having sex. I continued to SNAP away just for show and it was only when I told WPC Kensington that I was having difficulty taking pictures with her moving about so much and she replied, ‘Well put the fucking camera down then,’ that I finally accepted the facts.

‘Oh yeah give it to me! Give it to me hard!’ she was yelping, slamming me in and out of her for all she was worth. ‘Now from behind.’ ‘Now with me on top.’ ‘Now up against the wall.’ ‘Now me doing you with this.’

‘What?’

I’d never known anything like it. Yes, it had been a long and arduous drought and yes, I’d pined for sex more times that I cared to remember, but by jove, it caught up with me with a vengeance.

She was insatiable. That was the only word for her, absolutely insatiable.

I had gouges out of my back, bite marks on my nipples, cuts and bruises all over and a black eye before the night was out. We must’ve done it every which way but loose, and then done it loose, for there was nothing left taut on either of us by eleven, and I put in the performance of a lifetime.

I don’t know what her home life was like but she was the dirtiest girl I’d ever known. She told me that she just couldn’t bring herself to do these things with her boyfriend because she’d be too embarrassed all the rest of the time, but with me, a low-life scumbag pornographer, she could do or say anything because I didn’t matter to her one little bit. I was just a fuck.

Then she asked if I wanted to wee on her face.

‘Er... not really,’ I told her. ‘Besides, I can never go when someone’s watching me.’

‘Let me know if you change your mind,’ she said as she attempted to coax one last fight out of my battle-weary cock.

And she got it too, though it weren’t much to write about, so I won’t bother.

Just before midnight she showered, gargled and thanked me for a spectacular evening (her words, not mine), then asked me what I was going to do with the pictures. I told her to photocopy her birth certificate and passport and send me a copy along with a letter confirming her address and telephone number so she could be contacted by Jackie or Mary for verbal confirmation.

‘We have to go all through that?’ she asked, reluctantly.

‘I’m afraid so,’ I told her.

‘I’m not sure I want to give out my details and I certainly don’t want anyone ringing me at home. Can’t you just slip a couple in somewhere discreetly?’

It would be difficult now that I’d lost my job (though I didn’t tell her this), but possible if a few of the boys were willing to do me a favour or two.

‘I’ll see what I can do. Now you take care.’

Well, it might be breaking the rules but how could I refuse a woman who’d only minutes earlier had had my spuds in her mouth.

19. Court rogering

You know, I always wondered if there was a God upstairs who looked down over of us. Well, now I know for a fact there is – and he has a really creative sense of humour.

‘Okay, I’ve spoken to the clerk and told him that you’re all here so we just have to wait for our case to be called. Don’t go wandering too far away because if we miss our turn we’ll get bumped to the end of the day’s business,’ Samantha told me, Tanya and Cindy.

You may remember that I’d met Samantha before. She was my femmy solicitor friend from the Philip Goss party and I was the evil skin trader. Well here she was now representing me and two of the women I exploited. She didn’t choose to take us on, moreover, she was ‘asked’ to by her boss as she was the firm’s only woman and it was felt a female representative might look better to the bench. I know this because she told me three days earlier when we all went to see her. But hey, you know, what could she do? I suppose she could’ve claimed a conflict of interests and explained to the senior partner that representing such a person went against her high moral principles but, considering she’d sucked her senior partner off more times than he’d had hot and salty dinners just to get the job, I don’t suppose that would’ve cut much mayonnaise. Besides, solicitors didn’t have to like their clients and I doubt there were too many that did.

‘Isn’t she that bird you were chatting up at that party?’ Paddy asked, as Samantha walked away. Paddy, Matt, Hasseem and even Hazel had all come along for support. Also, Paddy had a little camera with him and he figured he’d try and get a few shots of Tanya and Cindy quickly whipping their bits out when no one was looking and get a spread out of it for the mag. Unbelievably, Tanya and Cindy agreed (for a fee) and had already slipped out of their panties and done a couple of shots on the steps outside.

‘Yeah, that’s her,’ I replied.

‘Nice arse,’ he commented. ‘You reckon I can get a couple of shots of her with the girls?’

‘What for Ace? Oh yeah, I’m sure she’d love that,’ I replied sarcastically.

‘You never know,’ he said.

‘Ask her anyway. It’ll be a laugh whatever.’

‘All right, hang on here, I’ll go and have a word,’ he said and I watched him jump up out of his seat and go after her. I was looking forward to seeing her reaction but at that moment I was distracted by someone walking past who I knew would be well up for anything I could think of.

‘Hello. WPC Kensington, isn’t it?’ I said, outstretching my hand. WPC Kensington shook it and gave me a polite smile.

‘Hello Godfrey, how are you?’