Gordon had not bothered to answer, knowing it would irritate Powhatan. Anyway, he was in a hurry. He still hoped there was time to get back and stop the Scouts before they performed the worst idiocy since the Doomwar itself.
Powhatan kept probing, though. The man sounded genuinely puzzled. And he was unaccustomed to being put off. At last, Gordon found himself actually speaking put in Dena’s defense,
“What kind of ‘common sense’ would you have had someone knock into her, George? The logic of the colorless drabs who cook meals for complacent men, here in the Camas? Or perhaps she should speak only when spoken to, like those poor women who live as cattle down in the Rogue, and now in Eugene?
“They may be wrong. They may even be crazy. But at least Dena and her comrades care about something bigger than themselves, and have the guts to fight for it. Do you, George? Do you?”
Powhatan had looked down at the floor. Gordon barely heard his reply. “Where is it written that one should only care about big things? I fought for big things, long ago… for issues, principles, a country. Where are all of them now?”
The steely gray eyes were narrow and sad when next he looked up at Gordon. “I found out something, you know. I discovered that the big things don’t love you back. They take and take, and never give in return. They’ll drain your blood, your soul, if you let them, and never let go.
“I lost my wife, my son, while away battling for big things. They needed me, but I had to go off trying to save the world.” Powhatan snorted at the last phrase. “Today I fight for my people, for my farm — for smaller things — things I can hold”
Gordon had watched Powhatan’s large, hard-calloused hand flex, as if straining to grasp life itself. It had never occurred to him until then that this man feared anything in the world, but there it was, visible for only the briefest moment.
A certain rare kind of terror in his eyes.
At the door to Gordon’s guest room, Powhatan had turned, his chiseled face outlined in the flickering light from the tallow candles. “Me, I think I know why your crazy woman is pulling whatever mad stunt she’s cooked up, and it doesn’t have to do with that grand ‘heroes and villains’ bullshit she wrote about.
“The other women, they’re just following her because she’s a natural leader in desperate times. She has them swept along in her wake, poor girls. But she…” Powhatan shook his head. “She thinks she’s doing it for the big reasons, but one of the small things lies beneath it all.
“She’s doing it out of love, Mr. Inspector. I think she’s doing it for you alone.”
They had looked at each other, that last time, and Gordon realized then that Powhatan was paying the visiting postman back with interest for the unasked-for guilt he had been delivered.
Gordon had nodded to the Squire of Sugarloaf Mountain, accepting the burden — postage prepaid.
Leaving the warmth of the coals, Gordon felt his way over to the horses and carefully checked their lines. All seemed well, though the animals were a little jumpy still. After all, they had been driven hard today. The ruins of the prewar town of Remote lay behind them, and the old Bear Creek Campgrounds. If the band really flew tomorrow, Calvin Lewis figured they might make Roseburg by a little after nightfall.
Powhatan had been generous with provisions for their journey. He had given of the best of his stables. Anything the northerners wanted, they could have. Except for George Powhatan, of course.
As Gordon patted the last nickering horse, and stepped out under the trees, a part of him was still unable to believe they had come all this way for nothing. Failure tasted bitter in his mouth.
… rippling lights… the voice of a long-dead machine …
Gordon smiled without amusement.
“If I could have infected him with your ghost, Cyclops, don’t you think I would have? But you don’t reach a man like him as simply as that! He’s made of stronger stuff than I was.”
… Who will take responsibility… ?
“I don’t know!” he whispered urgently, silently, at the darkness all around him. “I don’t even care anymore!”
He was maybe forty feet from the campsite now. It occurred to him that he could just keep on going should he choose. If he disappeared into the forest, right now, he would still be better off than sixteen months ago when, robbed and injured, he had stumbled upon that ancient, wrecked postal jeep in a high, dusty forest.
He had taken the uniform and bag only in order to survive, but something had latched onto him that strange night, the first of many ghosts.
At little Pine View the unsought legend began — this Johnny Appleseed “postman” nonsense that had long since gone completely out of control, thrusting upon him unasked-for responsibility for an entire civilization. Since then his life had no longer been his own. But now, he realized, he could change that!
Just walk away, he thought.
Gordon felt his way in the pitch blackness, using the one forest skill that had never failed him, his sense of path and direction. He walked surefootedly, sensing where the tree roots and little gullies had to be, using the logic of one who had come to know woodlands well.
It required a special, remote kind of concentration to move this way in the near-total darkness… a zenlike exercise that was elevating — as detached but more active than that sunset meditation two days ago, overlooking the roaring confluence of the Coquille. As he walked, he seemed to rise higher and higher above his troubles.
Who needed eyes to see, or ears to hear? Only the touch of the wind guided him. That and the scent of the red cedars, and the faint salt traces of the distant, expectant sea.
Just walk away.… Joyfully, he realized that he had found a counter incantation! One that matched and neutralized the rippling of little lights in his mind. An antidote to ghosts.
He hardly felt the ground, striding through the darkness, repeating it with growing enthusiasm. Just walk away!
The exalted journey ended abruptly, jarringly, as he tripped over something completely unexpected — something that did not belong there on the forest floor.
He tumbled to the ground with barely a sound, a puff of snow-covered pine needles breaking his fall. Gordon scrambled around, but couldn’t make out the obstacle that had brought him down. It was soft and yielding to the touch, though. His hand came away sticky and warm.
Gordon’s pupils should not have been able to dilate wider, but sudden fear did the trick. He bent forward and the face of a dead man came into sudden focus.
Young Cal Lewis stared back at him in a frozen expression of surprise. The boy’s throat gaped, expertly slit.
Gordon scuttled backward until he came up against a nearby tree trunk. In a daze he realized he hadn’t even taken his belt knife or pouch with him. Somehow, perhaps because of the spell of George Powhatan’s mountain, he had let that deadly sliver of complacency slip in. Perhaps his last mistake.
In the dark, he could hear the rushing waters of the middle fork of the Coquille. Beyond lay the enemy’s home ground. But right now they were on this side of the river.
The ambushers don’t know I’m out here, he realized. It didn’t seem possible after the way he had been moving around, mumbling to himself obliviously, but perhaps there had been a gap in their closing circle.
Perhaps they had been preoccupied.
Gordon understood the principles well. First you take out the pickets, then, in a rush, swoop down on the unsuspecting encampment. Those boys and old men sleeping by the campfire did not have George Powhatan with them, now. They never should have left their mountain.