"You're very kind," Solo breathed, watched her disappear into the kitchen and then looked at his companion. "Did you see what I saw?"
"I think so. We seem to be destined to run into women with one idea in mind. I would say she was wearing even less than Miss Perrell!"
"And what will you bet she's playing the same cards, for the same reasons?"
"Dazzle and distract, and then—pow!" Kuryakin made a chopping gesture, and Solo grinned.
"Only, this time, somebody else will do the pow part." He lowered his voice to a barely audible murmur. "In the right hand wall, past the couch, is a door that could be a bed room. It'll bear watching."
There was no time for more. Miss Thompson came back with a tray. "You must sit somewhere," she reproved them.
"Sorry," Solo said, and they both chose chairs which gave a view of that crucial door, Kuryakin reaching to slide a low table into place for the tray. She lowered it carefully, then stood up, deliberately giving them ample opportunity to observe her before sitting herself on the couch. She was wearing a transparent housecoat, decorated all over with Chinese dragons in gilt thread and leaving no doubt whatever that there was only her pink skinned self underneath. She smiled in complete self-assurance and began to pour.
"I suppose you're wondering what this is all about!"
"We're curious, yes."
"Well, let me be quite frank. No point in beating about the bush, is there? I know quite a bit about you two boys. And Mr. Guard. You're on the wrong side of the law, aren't you? No, don't interrupt just yet, let me tell you. I know a lot more than you think. You see, I'm not just Roger Barnett's secretary. That's the obvious thing. My real job is to keep an eye on him and on anyone who comes to see him. All sorts of wicked people would give a lot to know what he knows, where every ship and group and squadron is at any time. So I have to keep a sharp eye on anyone who calls."
"Like us," Kuryakin agreed. "You checked back. What did you find?"
"Quite a lot. Not all by myself, of course, but I have contacts. You upset Roger badly by showing him that girl's picture. By blackmailing him, that was obvious. But it wasn't until we traced you two back to John Guard that the picture began to shape up."
"What picture?"
"Now, now, Mr. Kuryakin." She smiled archly. "Let's not play innocent, shall we? I'm sure you've heard of U.N.C.L.E.?"
"Oh. Yes, I've heard."
"Well, John Guard used to belong to that, but he was discharged some time ago. Tossed out in disgrace. And he is now working for the other side, for the criminal element."
"He is?"
"You know very well!" Her coo went up a tone or two. "Why do you suppose he has that isolated house on the coast? And why did he send you two with his dirty work, instead of coming himself? Because he can't afford to leave his lookout post, and he daren't risk being recognized. I've told you, I have my ways of finding out things."
"Just what are you, anyway, Miss Thompson?"
"Naval intelligence, of course," she told him, then smiled and shared the smile with Solo. "I'm only a small cog, of course. Nothing important. And there's no need to worry, really. I mean, we can be friends. You can trust me all the way."
"Wait. Whoa! I'm a little confused just here." Solo put down his cup and sat forward. "You're saying that we are known to be associated with John Guard in some crooked deal or other, but it's all right with you? And with naval intelligence? Excuse me, Miss Thompson, but I don't get it."
"Oh dear, must we be so formal? Call me Louise. You're Napoleon and Illya, right? Of course we can be friends, if you're willing to come in with us. It was a mistake to upset Roger. I mean, he can really set the big wheels turning, make a stink. And that would never do. But there are other jobs."
"I think, Napoleon, the lady is offering us the chance to become double agents. To keep in with the baddies, but turn over our information to the goodies, to her. Louise?"
"That's right!" she gave them a dazzling smile and sat up briskly. "Of course, you'll have to tell me what it is you have on Roger, so that you won't be able to use that again, but that's all. And then you'll be with us, on our side. You see?"
Solo could see far more than she imagined. Her inadequate robe, which had only been loosely gathered around her in the first place, was now gaping invitingly. But now his mind was too full of other things.
"Surely you don't have the authority to make a deal like that on your own? You said you were just a small cog."
"That's so. I just observe and pass information along."
"You've met your chief, though, haven't you?"
"Naturally. He comes here to see me from time to time. And he pays me, of course. Let's not be so naïve as to think I can afford to live like this on my service screw." She leaned back in a deliberate pose against the cushions. "You see, there are benefits to it, if you want to be sensible."
"I think we understand," Solo declared, feeling suddenly sorry for this gorgeous moron and hating the people who were using her. "Don't we, Illya? I believe we could even give a description of your chief."
"Oh yes." Kuryakin sat up a little straighter, loosened him self ready for action. "We can tell you a thing or two, Louise. You are not intelligence, naval or otherwise. You're either very stupid or a good liar."
She came bolt upright, her face a mask of astonishment.
"You are being used," Solo told her, not unkindly. "The man you pass your reports to is a killer. You reported to him as soon as we left your office yesterday. Two men got out of a taxi just outside our hotel a short while later. Two men who, by chance, happened to look like us. They were jumped, beaten up, put in the hospital. Meant for us. He tried the same trick late last night, caught us coming home from a club. Pack of young hooligans set on us. They were unlucky. That's twice. I think he is all set to try a third time. I think he can hear every word I'm saying, right now."
She got up, her face white, her beautiful breast stormy with agitation as she stared down at the two men. "You must be mistaken. You must be!"
"I think not. I'll name him for you." Solo fixed his eyes on that enigmatic door. "Come out and show yourself, Mr. Absalom Green!"
"How did you know?" she gasped. Both men ignored her, kept their attention on that door. It didn't move. Instead a cold and crisp voice came from the direction of the kitchen.
"Don't move, gentlemen. You're quite clever but not clever enough. Do not do anything sudden. I have a nervous finger."
Solo turned carefully, to see Green standing in the kitchen doorway, a pistol in his right hand. The muzzle was rock steady, the barrel sawn off short.
"It's a modified shotgun, Mr. Solo. Made to my own order and very efficient. I'm sure you will appreciate that I am in no mood to trust anyone else's weapons these days."
"You didn't do very well with John Guard, did you?"
"I allow myself one mistake, Mr. Solo. So far I have never made the same mistake twice."
"You can't count," Kuryakin told him. "Your schoolboy warriors had two tries and failed both."
"They failed." Green's voice crackled with fury. "They have paid the price. I shall not fail." He took two careful steps forward. At his back showed a big, burly figure who slid by and moved away to one side. Then another, and then a third. Solo watched them, reflecting that they must have been stacked on top of each other in that tiny room. They were big men, coarse featured, roughly dressed in that curious badly bundled fashion that marks the seafaring man ashore. Miss Thompson came out of her shock and moved just a little. Green flashed her a glance like a rapier.