“I’m leaving tonight for Seattle to pick up clean clothes, then I’m heading for Montana in the morning,” he said. “I just wanted to come by and wish you well. You deserve a little happiness.” He looked pointedly at John.
“I’m making it my number-one priority,” John said, bringing her hand up to his lips. The simple, romantic gesture moved her.
“Give my best to Miranda,” Rowan said as Quinn turned to open the door.
He glanced over his shoulder and she couldn’t read his face. “I will.” He left.
“Did I miss something?” John asked.
“No. Just Quinn being arrogant and stubborn.” And Miranda, she thought.
“I figured that out working with him these last weeks.” John smiled. “But he’s a good guy.”
“Yeah, he is. One of the best.”
John leaned over and kissed her lightly on the lips, then kissed her hand again.
“I hear you have a cabin in Colorado. Believe it or not, I’ve never been to Colorado. Tess is taking a civilian job with the FBI in Washington, so there’s no reason for me to hang around L.A. Besides, I just have this little studio with nothing but a bed and radio. What say you and I head off for a little R amp; R? Indefinitely.”
Rowan sighed and closed her eyes.
She loved John. And for the first time since she was ten, Rowan felt like she could love someone who would be around for a long, long time.
Was it fate? Destiny? She didn’t know. But she couldn’t imagine waking up alone in bed anymore. She didn’t want to fall asleep with her Glock as her only companion. She wanted more. A friend. A lover.
A husband.
That was down the road. Their love had been forged in a hellish world created by Bobby MacIntosh. The thought of her sick, sick brother made her stomach roll over and she stifled a sob.
But Bobby was dead. And this time, it wasn’t a lie.
“Rowan? Are you okay? We don’t have to rush anything-”
John sounded so defeated, as if she might turn him away.
“No, no,” she said.
“That’s okay. I understand.”
“No!” she said more firmly. She swallowed, opened her eyes and looked at him, willing him to understand what she really meant.
“I love you John.”
“I know. You’re just not ready for-”
“Shh.” She motioned for more water. If he was going to make this difficult, she needed more fuel.
She swallowed the cool liquid and started again. “I need you.”
At first he looked skeptical, then optimistic. “I never expected to hear that from you.”
“I never expected to say it. To anyone.”
She squeezed his hand.
“Does that mean you don’t mind me joining you in Colorado?”
“I need a lot of work,” she admitted. “I still have some-problems. I don’t know if the nightmares are going to go away, or if I won’t snap at you or shut you out or-”
“Rowan!” he said, his voice sharp. “Do you think I care? I have baggage as well. You know about Denny. And Reginald Pomera. If I have a chance, I’m going to go after him.”
“I know. You’ll get your demon, John. Just like I got mine.”
“But now,” he said, his voice softer and full of the love she felt from him, “I have someone to come home to. If you’ll have me.”
“There’s no one I’d rather share my home with,” she said.
She could put everything behind her. And she would much rather wake up with John by her side-in good times and bad-than live the rest of her life without love.
“Then it’s a deal. As soon as they spring you, we’re going to Colorado. Together.”
“That sounds perfect,” she said quietly before drifting off to a dreamless sleep.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I never really understood all that went into producing a book. I thought a writer wrote it, an editor edited it, and a publisher published it. There are multiple editors, copyeditors, cover designers, marketing professionals-dozens of hard-working people who all deserve to be acknowledged for their fine work.
Everyone who had a hand in producing this book at Ballantine, thank you for making this process as easy as possible. Especially, Gina Centrello and Linda Marrow for being so enthusiastic; Charlotte Herscher for encouraging me to dig deeper; and Dana Isaacson for great advice on villains.
Wally Lind and Rick Litts from crimescenewriters were invaluable, sharing their experience, expertise, and time, especially about the prison system. If I’ve made any technical errors, it was certainly not because of them.
Trisha, you believed in me from the very beginning. Thank you for being a true friend.
Jan, Sharon and Amy, thanks for being my first readers-I’d never have finished this book without you.
Karin, Edie, Barbara, Michelle, Kathia amp; Michele for your constant support and encouragement.
I’d never have realized my dream without my fabulous agent Kimberly Whalen, who really worked above and beyond the call to make everything come together… thank you for taking a chance on me.
And of course my husband, Dan, and our kids need to be acknowledged for putting up with my late-night writing binges, quickie dinners, and messy house. You are my motivation. I love you.
