on Khaiate soiclass="underline" talk and rumor, drunken rhetoric likely to come to nothing.
The greater mass of the utkhaiem were already gathering their best robes
and most garish jewelry in preparation for the journey south to
Saraykeht to greet the returning fleet and see this Galtic girl who
would one day be Empress. Maati listened to it all, his frown deepening
until his mouth began to ache.
"It doesn't change anything," he said. "Otah can sell us to our enemies
if he wants. It doesn't affect our work here. Once we have the grammar
worked through and the andat back in the world-"
"It changes everything," Eiah said. "Danat is marrying a Galt. The
utkhaiem are either going to line up like sailors at a comfort house to
follow the example or resist and restart a war we'll never win. Or
worse, both. Perhaps he'll divide the utkhaiem so deeply that we turn on
each other."
Maati took the tea from the fire and filled his bowl. It was bitter and
overbrewed and scalded his tongue. He drank it anyway. Eiah was looking
at him, waiting for him to speak. The fire danced over the graying lumps
of coal.
"The women's grammar won't matter if the world's already passed us by,"
Eiah said softly. "If it takes us five more years to capture an andat,
there will already be a half-Galt child on its way to becoming Emperor.
There will already be half-Galt children born to every family with any
power, anywhere in the cities. Will an andat undo that? Will an andat
unmake the love these fathers feel for their new children?"
If it's the right one, yes, Maati thought but didn't say. He only stared
down into his bowl of tea, watching the dark leaves staining its depth.
"He is remaking the world without us," Eiah went on. "He's giving his
official seal to the thought that if a woman can't bear a child, she
doesn't matter. He's doing the wrong thing, and once a wound has healed
badly, Uncle, it's twice as hard to put right."
Everything she said made sense. The longer it took to bring back the
andat, the harder it would be to repair the damage he'd done. And if the
world had changed past recognition before his work was complete, he
wasn't sure what meaning the effort would have. His jaw ached, and he
realized he'd been clenching it.
"So what then?" Maati said, taking a pose that made his words a
challenge. "What do you want me to do I'm not doing already?"
Eiah sat back, her head in her hands. She looked like Otah when she did
it. It was always unnerving when he caught a glimpse of her father in
her. He knew what she would say before she spoke. It was, after all,
what she'd been steering him toward from the conversation's start. It
was the subject they had been arguing for months.
"Let me try my binding," Eiah said. "You've seen my outlines. You know
the structure's sound. If I can capture Returning-to-NaturalEquilibrium ..."
She let the words trail away. Returning-to-Natural-Equilibrium, called
Healing.
"I don't know that," Maati said, half-ashamed by the peevishness in his
voice. "I only said that I didn't see a flaw in them. I never said there
wasn't one, only that I couldn't see it. And besides which, it might be
too near something that's been done before. I won't lose you because
some minor poet in the Second Empire bound Making-Things-Right or
Fix-the-Broken or some idiotically broad concept like that."
"Even if they did, they hadn't trained as physicians. I know how flesh
works in ways they wouldn't have. I can bring things back the way
they're meant to be. The women that Sterile broke, I can make whole
again. If we could only-"
"You're too important."
Eiah went silent. When she spoke again, her voice was heavy and bitter.
"You know you've just called all the others unimportant," Eiah said.
"Not unimportant," Maati said. "They're all important. They only aren't
all irreplaceable. Wait, Eiah-kya. Be patient. Once we have a grammar
that we know can work, I won't stop you. But let someone else be first."
"There isn't time," Eiah said. "We have a handful of months before the
trade starts in earnest. Maybe a year."
"Then we'll find a way to move them faster," Maati said.
The question of how that might be done, however, haunted him the rest of
the night. He lay on his cot, the night candle hissing almost inaudibly
and casting its misty light on the stone ceiling. The women, his
students, had all retired to what quarters Eiah had quietly arranged for
them. Eiah herself had gone back to the palaces of the Emperor, the
great structures dedicated to Otah, while Maati lay in the near-dark
under a warehouse, sleep eluding him and his mind gnawing at questions
of time.
Maati's father had died younger than he was now. Maati had been an
aspiring poet at the village of the Dai-kvo at the time. When the word
came, he had not seen the man in something near a decade. The news had
stung less than he would have anticipated, not a fresh loss so much as
the reminder of one already suffered. A slowing of blood had taken the
man, the message said, and Maati had never looked into the matter more
deeply. Lately he'd found himself wondering whether his father had done
all that he'd wished, if the son he'd given over to the poets had made
him proud, what regrets had marked that last illness.
The candle had almost burned itself to nothing when he gave up any hope
of sleep. Outside, songbirds were greeting the still-invisible dawn, but
Maati took no joy in them. He lit a fresh candle and sat on the
smooth-worn stone steps and considered the small wooden box that carried
the only two irreplaceable things he owned. One was a painting he had
done from memory of Nayiit Chokavi, the son he should have had, the
child he had helped, however briefly, to raise, the boy whom Otah- Otah
to whom no rules applied-had brought into the world in Saraykeht and
taken out of it in Machi. The other was a book bound in black leather.
He opened the cover and considered the first page, squinting to bring
the letters clear. He could not help but think of another book-that one
brown-which had been his gift from Heshai-kvo and Seedless. Heshai's
handwriting had been clearer than Maati's own, his gift for language
more profound.
I, Maati Vaupathai, am one of the two men remaining in the
world who has wielded the power of the andat. As the
references from which I myself learned are lost, I shall
endeavor to record here what I know Q f grammar and of the
forms of thought by which the andat may be bound and the
abstract made physical. And, with that, my own profound
error from which the world is still suffering.
Half-reading, he flipped through the pages, caught occasionally by a
particular turn of phrase of which he was fond or tripped by a diagram
or metaphor that was still not to his best liking. Though his eyes