Kitty asks me every day where her mother is. I am teaching her to play the piano, and she is impatient to show Nina what she can do.
She piles music books onto the piano stool, perches on top of the pile, and bangs away enthusiastically at the keys. Her favorite keys are the ones at the top: these produce a delicate tinkling sound, so she has christened them “Mommy’s notes.” “Daddy’s notes,” on the other hand, are the deep bass ones at the bottom. I’m sorry to say, they’re a lot less popular.
I told Kitty that her mother would be coming soon and that she was bound to write to us, in any case. But the days go by, and our mailbox remains empty except for newspapers and official letters. I’m back in the old routine—work, trivial chores and worries, and never enough time. I have not been in touch with Galina and now have to do everything myself.
Whenever my foreign colleagues write about the Soviet people, they dehumanize them whether they mean to or not. I can understand why this happens—if you only scratch the surface, the people here seem like a bunch of madmen who make decision after decision that can only harm themselves.
There are no roads in Arkhangelsk and nothing to eat, and meanwhile, the government is sending money and arms to communists all over the world. Why?
Rather than helping private businesses feed the urban population, it does its best to ensure the Soviet people eat as poor a diet as possible and stand in queues as long as possible so that they grow cold, tired, and sick, and die prematurely as a result.
The state budget is spent on polar expeditions, on sending foreign journalists to the north, and on huge sporting demonstrations. The Bolsheviks have been excluded from the world Olympic movement, so in order to spite the organizers of the Olympics in Holland, the USSR decided to stage an enormous sporting event, the Spartakiad, a thousand times better than anything the bourgeois West had to offer. While the country was in the throes of an economic crisis, the government was building a 25,000-seater stadium for the Dynamo soccer team.
Foreigners find it difficult to understand why, far from being indignant at folly on such a grand scale, the Soviet people actually seem to be enthusiastically in favor of it.
What they don’t realize is that man cannot live by bread alone. Everyone in this country wants to be somebody, to have some value in the world, and to enjoy general respect. When people are disenfranchised and demeaned by poverty, their need for greatness only increases. The achievements of sporting heroes and polar explorers are looked on as common property, and people truly enjoy reading in the papers about how the USSR has rescued the explorers of Nobile’s expedition. In this way, Soviet citizens get to prove that they, as a nation, are strong, intelligent, and brave, and against that backdrop, their day-to-day problems seem less important.
I think I should write a book called A Dictators’ Manual.
I’ve already made a chapter outline:
1. Keep a Tight Grip on Power: how to get the money for the army and police in a wretchedly poor country
2. Invent Enemies Both at Home and Abroad: how to give people a plausible explanation for their misfortune
3. Entertainment for the Masses and the Fostering of National Pride: an easy method to quell public discontent
4. Propaganda and the Art of Concealment: how to arrange things so that people don’t believe what they see with their own eyes
I’ll have ten copies printed, and then I’ll sell each one to the tyrants of the world who will have to pay me its weight in gold.
The New Economic Policy introduced under Lenin is now being phased out swiftly and stealthily.
You can’t see any more signs bearing the names of private firms or shop owners. The Bolsheviks have got rid of the private traders but put nothing in their place, so it looks like this winter will be a hard one.
The country is now gripped by a cult of fervent worship of the Soviet leaders and, above all, Comrade Stalin. The rulers’ portraits have clearly taken the place of icons: their faces are pinned up everywhere.
The Party is the fount of all blessings, and therefore, anyone with any talent puts it to use for the glory of the Bolsheviks. Meanwhile, those who have no talent try to move up the ladder by protecting their leaders from all sorts of spurious dangers.
In part, this sycophancy is calculating, and in part, it is driven by our instinctive desire to attach ourselves to strong leaders. For ordinary people, this is the only way to survive when the going gets tough.
I think I should add a new chapter to my book for dictators. “Keeping Control Over Food, Fuel, and Housing: a guaranteed method to win the love of the people.”
Nina still hasn’t appeared. Not long ago, Kitty and I were reading a book and came upon a riddle about a clock pendulum:
Immediately, Kitty said, “That’s you, Daddy!” When I asked her why, she said that I can’t make up my mind. First, I go looking for Mommy; next, I say she’s never coming back; and now, I’m expecting her to come to see us.
I rang all of my friends and told them about the situation in the Church of St. Michael. We have all clubbed together and managed to lay in supplies of flour, drinking water, and anti-lice treatment. Some of the doctors from the embassies have agreed to offer their services free and have given our refugees a basic medical examination.
I don’t know why we have suddenly decided to help these people who are not connected to us with any national, social, or religious ties. Perhaps the Volga Germans were simply the first to come our way.
I spoke to some of my fellow journalists. They all feel just what I feel—an oppressive sense of helplessness in the face of a catastrophe that looms ever closer. By coming to the aid of destitute people, we are mounting a personal protest against the forces of violence and falsehood.
I took the Germans to the bathhouse, spending my very last kopeck in the process, and felt an incredible sense of elation. The Bolshevik system demands that I shut up and put up. Is everything all right in your life? Then stay where you are and don’t stick your head above the parapet. You won’t be able to change anything anyway. And while I nod and agree, I am carrying on doing what I believe is right.
My colleagues are all doing the same thing, and it amazes me to report that we have been joined by employees of the Press Department. Weinstein complained that my article about the Volga Germans was just another case of “mudslinging” and cut it, but the very next minute, he told me that he had a dacha outside Moscow with a shed that he had been meaning for some time to break up for firewood.
“I won’t be going there again this year,” he said, looking at me pointedly. “You understand what I’m saying? There’ll be nobody there.”
It’s amazing but true: even the most fervent supporters of the Bolshevik regime are prepared to carry out good deeds when they get the chance so long as there is no danger their bosses will catch them displaying a love for their fellow man.
This weekend, Weinstein’s neighbors out at his dacha observed a curious sight: a group of foreigners piling out of a couple of embassy cars, flinging off their jackets, and setting to work breaking up the old shed with sledgehammers. The logs and boards were then sawed up and dispatched in a number of consignments to the Lutheran church.
Magda, fresh from a recent trip to Central Asia, has also taken the plight of the Germans to heart. Traveling around Turkestan, she saw so many cases of ill-treated women and children that the “sin of wellbeing” has become unbearable to her.