whichstill smelled like Boris barf.
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Why didn't I bring anyFebreze with me? WHY?
Anyway, the barf smell kind of ruined the mood. Besides, you couldn't even see any stars, it was
drizzling so much.
Oh, no.The "lights out" bell. We have to turn out our flashlights now, and go to sleep. I don't know how
anyone can be expected to sleep out here in the wilderness. There are all sorts of weird noises, like
hooting owls and crickets and stuff. At least we don't have to worry about bears, though. Lars opened
his duffel bag and pulled out a pup tent, complete with an inflatable air mattress, and set it up right in front
of our door. While this will make going to the Port-O-Lets in the middle of the night slightly difficult- and
will also, sadly, discourage any nocturnal visitations from boys it makes me happy to know that Lars is
out there with hisGlock9 mm and hisnunchaks ...even if he, like the rest of us, can't sleep due to the
incredibly noisy owls.
I missManhattan already. What I wouldn't give to be lulled to sleep by the dulcet tones of a car alarm.
Sunday, March 13, Noon, the dining tent
Oh, my God, every inch of me is sore. It is no joke trying to sleep on the ground. And the sides of our
tents kept flapping all night, and I thought it was the Blair Witch trying to get in.
Plus when we woke up, everything was drenched with dew.DEW. There is no dew inNew York City .
Pigeons, maybe.Lots of rats.But no dew.
Dew is my new enemy. Although thanks to it, my hair no longs smells like Boris's barf. Now it just
smells like...dew.
It doesn't help that I've done all morning is hold up wood frames. Apparently I am hopeless at
hammering, sawing, drilling, and pouring cement. Good thing I came all the way toWest Virginia to find
that out.
So I was in charge of holding up the woods frames while other people hammered them in, a task that
requires no skill whatsoever, just plenty of upper body strength... which I am, of course, lacking, but I
am not about to admit it to anyone.At least, not out loud.
Still, those frames are HEAVY! I mean, building houses is not easy.
Thank God for Michael, Lars, Dr. Gonzales, and PeterTsu . I don't mean to be sexist, but at this point in
the building stage, the guys are definitely doing a better job than girls although Tina has proven to be
pretty adept with the nail gun (lucky duck). I am pretty sure she is just doing it to look good in front of
PeterTsu , who has surprisingly shapely forearms as Lilly was quick to point out and film for posterity.
Peter is almost as hot asMulan's boyfriend, and he has the added bonus of not being a cartoon character.
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Nobody could be hotter than my boyfriend, though. I just wish it were sunnier out so Michael would get
all sweaty and have to take his shirt off. That would make building houses WAY fun.
Well, that and actually knowing I was contributing to its construction in some meaningful way.
Anyway, our house is going up more quickly than anyone else's, despite our great handicap: Boris.
While I am in no real way helping to build our house, at least I am not making things worse, the way
Boris is. So far he has had two asthma attacks thanks to all the sawdust, and dropped a cinderblock on
his foot (it will be all right, it is just bruised, Dr. Gonzales says). We have now assigned him to keeping
Mitchel and Stefano from wandering too close to the chain saw, and refilling everybody's Gatorade
containers.
Oh, yeah. I know why Gatorade is so important now. Building a house is VERY tiring. You have to
replace your electrolytes constantly.
Mr.Harmeyer says beer is better for replacing electrolytes than Gatorade, but Dr. Gonzales pointed out
to him that alcohol dehydrates the body very quickly, and after that, Mr.Harmeyer shut up.
Lilly, who has been filming our progress with the framework of the house, insists that this new
documentary is going to rival her most celebrated work of all, "Travels With Lana's Coccyx Bone"
(witch Lilly shot, using somewhat crude animation, after Lana Weinberger's coccyx bone broke off and
disappeared into her bloodstream, thanks to a fall from a badly spotted basket toss. "Travels" showed
Lana's coccyx bone moving through Lana's body, carrying a little suitcase and visiting with the other
bones and stuff).
Lunch is salad, cornbread, mashed potatoes, and pork tenderloin sandwiches. I am just having salad and
mashed potatoes. I am sick of corn already, though I understand that it is a staple of theWest Virginia
diet, like bagels and lox are inNew York .
Sunday, March 13, 9 p.m., the tent
Too tired to give full account of day.Just held up more wood frames.For hours.
Dinner: salad, Tater Tots, hamburgers, corn. Just ate salad and Tater Tots. Sight of corn makes me want
to puke.
Fell asleep during inspirational speech by Dr. Gonzales.Woke up with head on Michael's shoulder. He
was very nice about it. Hope I didn't drool.
Can't believe I am too tired even to make out with own boyfriend.
Amgoing to sleep right now, too exhausted to wait for lights out.
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Monday, March 14, Noon, the dining tent
Woke to full-on rain.Wet wipes instead of showers for everyone. That's okay, my muscles would have
been too sore to carry my five-gallon solar shower bag to shower area anyway. Besides, I'm freezing
the dew soaked through my sleeping bag, right down to my pajamas. I feel like I've already had a
shower.
Fortunately wehad already framed in the roof of theHarmeyer's house.Spent morning applying gypsum
board to interior walls.Will shingle roof later if rain lets up. May be getting better at this house-building
thing, hammer only went through gypsum board five times. Mrs.Harmeyer says that's okay, she can hang
pictures over holes. But Michael says no, we will plaster over them.
Lunch is turkey sandwiches, potato salad, Jell-O, and corn chips.Ate potato salad and Jell-O.
Aw,geez , back to work.
Monday, March 14, 10 p.m., the tent
Too tired to write much.Rain let up and I spent afternoon on roof shingling with Lilly, Tina, and PeterTsu
. Only fell off roof once. Landed on Boris, so that was all right. Michael, Lars, and Dr. Gonzales installed
the plumbing. Mrs.Harmeyer cried when her toilet flushed for the first time. It was a deeply moving
moment.
After dinner salad, fried chicken, creamed corn, and rolls (only ate salad and rolls) Michael
surprised me by volunteering the two of us to "inventory the tools" in the supply tent.
I wasn't really sure how I felt about that, on account of the whole wet wipe situation. I mean, what if I
SMELLED?Made Trina smell me real quick. She said I smelled okay. But who knows if her nostrils are
as sensitive as Michael's????
Worried the whole way to supply tent that Michael would try to kiss me,then be repelled by possibleb.o