Mjipa: "I seem, Your Altitude, to have spent most of the last moon being arrested on one false charge after another. What is it this time?"
"It is no violation of our Kalwmian laws that fetches you hither, but a request from the Heshvavu Khorosh for your extradition, to face charges in his own demesne." The minister turned to a Krishnan holding a scroll. "Proceed, Master Verar."
The strange Khaldonian, a Zhamanacian from his total nudity and body paint, unrolled the scroll and read: "Whereas two aliens from the alleged world called Terra, namely Percy Mjipa and Alicia Dyckman," (he mangled their names) "while guests of the Heshvavu Khorosh, may he live forever, did conspire to lay impious hands upon his sacred person, and kidnap, abduct, and carry off by force the said Heshvavu, leaving him many regakit from the city of Mejvorosh, we therefore call upon our brother Heshvavu of Kalwm to return these inhuman creatures to us, to face charges of lèse majesté, threat, assault, hostage taking, and kidnapping ..."
The scroll went on and on, citing various laws and legal precedents; but the opening paragraph gave the gist. When the envoy had finished, Chanapar said: "How say you, Master Mjipa?"
"I say that in the first place, we were not guests of the Heshvavu but his captives. Neither had he arrested us for violation of his laws, but seized us arbitrarily and locked us up as part of a bizarre experiment for which he hoped to use us as subjects.
"In the second, we did indeed lay hands upon his sacred person, since that was the only way we could regain the freedom from which, in defiance of civilized custom and diplomatic immunity, he had bereft us. We took him into the country and let him go. He should be grateful; had we wished him harm, we could easily have killed him."
"Ye see!" cried the envoy. "The alien admits his guilt! He says his assault upon His Awesomeness was justified; but nought extenuates so foul a deed. Do but once breach the sacredness of the ruler's person, and the land falls into anarchy and rapine!"
"How say you, Mistress Dyckman?" said Chanapar.
"I agree in every particular with the statement of Master Mjipa."
Chanapar stroked his antennae. "Good my sirs, a case of this weight must needs be tried before the full court. Since their calendar be crowded, I misdoubt they'll take it up in less than a full moon hence. 'Twill give the Terrans time to find an advocate and prepare their defense.
"Now, as for the interim: Master Mjipa, were you twain but common scrowles, you'd await the hearing in one of our prison cells. But since you come from Novorecife and be persons of rank and repute, we'll suffer you to remain in your present abode, on condition that you post a bond and promise never to go beyond the city walls."
"I protest!" cried Verar. "These aliens will slip away, no matter how closely watched. They're said to have mysterious powers. Who knows that they'll not sprout wings and fly away? Or make themselves invisible? My master were better pleased if ye put them in the deepest dungeon, laden with the heaviest gyves."
"Your protest is noted," said Chanapar. "Well, Master Mjipa?"
"How much bond?" said Mjipa.
"One hundred khichit of gold."
Mjipa turned to Alicia. "What's that in karda? Mental arithmetic was never my strong point."
The girl frowned. "About a hundred and seventy."
"I think we can make it, though it'll leave us a bit short." Mjipa pulled out his money belt and stacked ten-kard gold pieces until he made his bond. "May I please have a receipt, Your Altitude?"
Mjipa and Alicia hastened back to the inn. Alicia said: "It ought to be smooth sailing, since the ship leaves long before the hearing comes up."
"Huh!" said Mjipa. "You mean, smooth sailing if the government doesn't get wind of our plan to leave, and if they don't post guards over our ship."
"The minister seems friendly. He sounded as if he really wanted us to jump bail and skip."
"Maybe, but the Heshvavu might have different ideas. Policy in an autocracy is subject to change without notice. Also, if Vuzhov's gang doesn't do us in first. They'll have no trouble finding us. Verar will write a letter, saying: 'I've located them here in Kalwm City! Send the gang, and I'll lead you to their lair."'
"Oh, dear!" Alicia. "What shall we do, then?"
"What we can. And I have a debt of honor to pay to Doctor Isayin."
"What do you mean? I hope it's not something that'll get us all in the soup."
"You'll see, old girl."
"You're not thinking of trying to rescue him—"
"That's my business! The less you know about it the better. If I do, I'll see that you 're on the ship when it happens and won't be involved."
"Oh, Percy, there you go with your crazy notions of honor and chivalry again! We'll be lucky if we can get ourselves away with whole skins. Haven't you any common sense?"
"You 're nobody to talk. You 're to blame for poor Isayin's trouble in the first place, for selling him the idea of a round planet."
"But he already had a suspicion. I merely confirmed—"
"If you'd kept your little pink mouth shut, you could have done all the research you wanted, right here in Kalwm."
"Oh, you're impossible! That's no reason for risking a couple of valuable Terran lives—"
"Oh, so our lives are more valuable than those of the poor bloody natives? And who's always ragging me about looking down on the blighters? ..."
The quarrel escalated into a shouting match, at the end of which Alicia retired to her room and slammed the door. The pair spoke no more to each other that day.
VI
HYPOCRISY
Next morning, Alicia said over breakfast: "Percy, I'm sorry I blew my top yesterday and said things I didn't mean."
"Hear, hear! I'm sorry I got my monkey up, too. Let's forget it; we have a job to do this morning."
"Yes?"
"I'm going to try to persuade the Phathvum to let me visit Isayin in his cell."
"Oh, Percy, don't try any Scarlet Pimpernel stunts! If they catch you at it, what'll become of me?"
"You've got your berth on the Tarvezid, and you're experienced at knocking about by yourself."
"What shall I do while you're wheedling Chanapar?"
"Oh, you're coming with me. You can use some of that feminine charm on the minister."
"Feminine charm!" she sniffed. "A lot of hypocritical nonsense the men have forced women to learn because they're not big enough to get what they want by force. It's unfair!"
"Nonetheless, my popsy, you'll jolly well have to learn it. Our lives may depend on it. And wasn't it some American politician who said, life is unfair?"
After a silence, Alicia said:"All right, I'll come along and simper at the Phathvum, on one condition. But I draw the line at offering him my fair body. One Krishnan lover is too many."
"Good lord! I never thought of such a thing. I wouldn't let you anyway."
"What do you mean, you wouldn't let me? It's my body. I'd offer it in a flash if it were a matter of saving your life or mine."
"Mjipa: "Very well, let's not quarrel over something that won't happen anyway. Is that the condition you spoke of?"
"No; I meant I'd go if you'll take me shopping after dinner."
Mjipa exploded in a gust of laughter. "And I doubted if you were a truly feminine female! Righto, shopping it is; but remember, we don't have the wealth of Dakhaq to squander."
Leaving Minyev to guard their possessions, they rode a street car to the palace. The carman, pushing from behind, plied them with questions as he plodded: "How far away is this Terra?" "How many Terrans be there?" "Have ye two sexes, even as we do?" "Is't true that ye live forever?" "What of this belief that ye be demons, and your world one of the hells?" "My wife hath just laid her ninth egg. That's more juvenals than I can afford to rear; how can I staunch this ceaseless flow of little ones?"