“Tell him I’m out of the game,” he said, the door closing behind us. When our eyes met, Grayson simply said, “Business.”
Out of the game? Business? What sort of business could he possibly have at a deli?
By the time we reached the park, the sun was already setting, casting an orange glow across the horizon. Gray found a spot by the boat pond, and we shuffled through fallen leaves to a vacant bench. Two squirrels quarreled noisily and chased each other up a tree. After their chattering died down, the park was silent except for the occasional footfall of passing joggers.
“So how did you know where to find me?” I asked, determined to keep my thoughts straight.
“I have my ways,” he said low, raising his eyebrows a bit. My expression must have showed the ripple of uneasiness I felt, because he laughed.
“That sounded creepy, sorry. Your mom gave us her card. That’s how I got your last name. I asked around. Not exactly differential calculus,” he said, leaning back and slinging his elbow over the top of the bench so he was partially facing me. I huddled my hands around my coffee cup, letting the steam tickle my nose, wanting to know why he was “asked to leave” St. Gabe’s but not sure how to bring it up casually.
“You’re too polite. Don’t you want to know why I got kicked out of school?” he asked.
“I guess,” I said, surprised he’d read my thoughts. “Wasn’t sure if it was too personal a question.”
“Wren, you’ve already had your arms around me from behind. I think we’re past the ‘too personal’ stuff.”
“Ha, good point,” I said, burning up at the thought of how intimately I’d already touched him. I blew on the rim of my cup, avoiding his gaze. “Okay, then why’d you get kicked out?”
He closed one eye, wrestling with the best place to start his story, then took a deep breath and said, “I was a term-paper pimp.”
I coughed, nearly choking on the coffee. “Pimp?”
He smirked at my reaction. “No, seriously. I was a middleman. Matched people up with the right guys—I had specialists in chemistry, history, creative writing; some at Saint Gabe’s, some elsewhere. Some I did myself. I got sloppy. Someone tipped the principal off. A guy handed in a term paper that was too good. They threatened him with expulsion and nabbed me.”
“Didn’t anyone else get in trouble?”
“A few of my customers got suspended, but I didn’t rat out my suppliers. I wouldn’t do that,” he said. “That’s why they really kicked me out—because I wouldn’t rat.”
I didn’t know what to say. Here I was, afraid to be even one second late for school, and he was so willing to admit—to brag, even—about his total disregard for what anybody with a shred of conscience would know was just . . . wrong. He studied me, waiting for more of a response. He didn’t seem embarrassed or regretful at all.
“Didn’t you worry you’d get caught?” I asked.
“At the time I didn’t really think about it. I had a lot going on.”
A lot going on, like what? I wanted to ask, but did I really want to know? Maybe I would have felt differently about our chat if I hadn’t been obsessing about my own crappy school record lately. The unfairness of it all bothered me.
“But . . . you knew it was wrong.”
“Wrong is such a subjective term, don’t you think?”
I tried to laugh, but it came out flat. “No. Pretty black-and-white.”
“It wasn’t the smartest thing to do, but . . . think of it like this—in the real world, people outsource all the time. Some of my customers had jobs on top of their school workload. There was a demand; I filled it. Simple. Econ 101. At least that’s how I defended myself. They didn’t quite buy it, hence getting the boot.”
Grayson’s argument was so convincing, I was almost swayed.
“Well, it is different than outsourcing,” I said.
“Wren, Saint Gabe’s is a wild place. There are guys whose parents make more money than we’ll see in our collective lifetimes, and then there are guys on scholarships whose families are barely scraping by. The ones who can’t buy their way into college? Good grades are the strongest weapon they have. They needed a business like mine. I felt like I was helping people.”
“I guess it’s just something I would never do. I’ve waited until the last minute to write term papers, but no matter how shitty, at least they were mine.”
“Wow, you’re such a Girl Scout.”
He’d turned into the hot-dog-tossing tool again . . . or maybe he always was and his quirky car and inviting smile duped me into dropping my guard. I wasn’t that far from home; I could walk. I stood up and tossed my coffee into a nearby trash can.
“Well, um, thanks for the coffee, the ride, but I’ve got to go.”
I began walking away, then realized I’d left my bag in his car. “I need my bag.”
Grayson frowned as he poured the rest of his coffee into the dead leaves. He stood up, tossed the cup into the trash, and walked toward the car. I followed behind, taking two steps for every one of his brisk strides. When he reached the car, he opened the passenger side, stooped in for my bag, and held it out for me. My fingertips grazed his as I took it from him.
“Guess you’re thinking, Why’d I save this asshole?” he said, leaning against the car.
Our eyes met. The tool was gone. And there it was—that longing—like right after I’d saved him. What did he want from me?
“God, Grayson, no, I’m not thinking that at all,” I said, taking a step back from him.
“Then what are you thinking?” he asked, flipping his bangs out of his eyes with a toss of his head. In that second all I was thinking was how charming he looked when he did that. Wren, get a freakin’ grip!
“You hit a nerve, okay? I’m royally screwing up this semester, and I hate it but not enough to cheat. I totally feel all that bullshit pressure to get good grades. And I’m not. Not like my friends,” I said, all the stuff I couldn’t admit to Jazz and Maddie came rushing out in one long breath. “Why do we even have to be judged by rank? What does that measure? All my number says about me is that I’m average. And to top it off, I’m supposed to know what I want to do with my life, but I know I won’t ever get into Harvard, so hey, at least that’s one thing I can cross off the list.”
“You’re applying to Harvard?” Gray asked.
I huffed. “Just forget it,” I said, turning away from him. Leaves rustled beneath my feet, punctuating the rush of my exit. He trotted next to me to gain ground, then stood in my way. I tried to go around him, but he kept dodging in front of me. I stopped, staring up through the canopy of half-barren branches. The sky was a deep shade of dusky blue. It would be dark soon.
“Wren, please,” Gray said, putting his face in my line of vision, hands up in surrender.
“I have to go,” I said, ducking under his arm. He grabbed my elbow, so I spun back to face him.
“Why did you save me?”
The question stopped me. I wrenched my arm free. “You were choking?”
“I know, I just . . . but why did you step in? If it had been me, and the situation was reversed, I don’t think I would have stepped in.”
“So . . . you’re telling me you wouldn’t have saved me?”
He ran a hand across his face. “No, that’s not what I meant . . . not you, personally, I mean anyone. I wouldn’t have known what to do.”
“Sure you would have. Simple. Health 101.”
“Okay, I guess I deserve that,” he said. “I’m just saying I would have panicked. I did panic. I thought I was a goner until you stepped in.”