“I have been listening, Star! But apparently you haven't been telling me everything! How am I supposed to help—”
“That's just it. You can't help. None of you can help me.” Tears started to form in my eyes. I willed them back, welcoming the burn that it created. “You want to know what happened to Becca? Sure, I'll tell you.” I sat back down in my chair and brought my knees up to my chest, holding them to me as I rested my head against them.
He looked startled, the abrupt change in my mood setting him on edge. At least I wasn't the only one.
“It was a couple of months after my seventeenth birthday. We were all in the cafeteria at school. I was sitting by myself, of course, and Becca was holding court three tables down from me. They were all laughing, talking about me. They made sure I could hear them.
“I tried my best to ignore them, but my rage kept growing, the darkness that went with it consumed me. All I could think about was how much Becca's viciousness spread like a fire, consuming everything in its path. How, for once, I wished she would get burned the same way she'd burned everyone else. Including me.
“I guess I must have been muttering, because a guy sitting at the end of the table heard me. I don't remember his name or even what he looked like. Next thing you know, there was screaming. God awful screaming that seemed to echo throughout the cafeteria. More people screamed and panic ensued.
“All I could hear was the screaming. I couldn't see anything through the smoke and had to leave the room because I started gagging on one of the most horrible scents I've ever smelled. I knew the smell of burnt hair, but I didn't know the second scent.
“People started running outside in an uproar. All of a sudden I heard, 'it was her! Star did it!' and I was confused. I hadn't done anything, but everyone was now turning to me, pointing at me. It wasn't until later as I was being questioned in the police station that I learned that Becca had somehow caught on fire. Ninety percent of her body was burned. Third degree. I guess the boy who overheard me had pointed me out when everybody was outside. They blamed me, condemned me. It didn't matter what I said or who I pleaded with, they wouldn't listen to me.”
I looked up into James’s eyes and didn't see any judging there. His was compassionate, reading behind my words to the pain that was deeply hidden. “That's what happened to Becca. That's why I'm here.” I stood up to leave.
“You do know that it wasn't your fault, right?”
I sent a self-condemning smile his way. “It's funny that you think that. I thought that for a long time, but now I know the truth.”
I turned away, trying to ignore his words. “What do you mean by that? Star, just wait—”
I turned toward him one last time as my hand rested on the door handle. “I forgot to finish what I was saying earlier. Tomorrow’s November third. My eighteenth birthday. Goodbye, James. I won't be seeing you again.”
Chapter Thirty-One
I stepped out of the office, a sense of freedom filling me. I started to smile, but it dropped quickly. Was fate trying to shit on me or something? Because it was working.
“Well look what we have here. I always knew there was something wrong with you. Turns out I was right.” Jenni stood on the bottom of the steps. Her blonde hair glowing in the late evening light, her blue eyes crinkling. She was enjoying this
“Well yay for you. Do I need to throw confetti or something? Just let me know next time so I'm more prepared.” I shrugged, as if her seeing me at a shrinks office was nothing out of the ordinary. “What are you doing here anyways?”
“Well, we,” she paused and glanced pointedly over her shoulder, “were bringing Mr. Morrison his dinner. He said he had to work late on something. I guess we know what that is now. Don't we, Gabe?” I froze. I knew there was a possibility that I'd end up seeing Gabe here, but at that moment the possibility seemed so small. It was my last day, the last chance.
I swallowed hard as I looked into his eyes. He was confused, and I didn't have the heart to tell him that I was one of his father's patients. Jenni took care of that for me.
“Look, baby. Just another crazy coming to see your father. I guess he can't save them all, can he?”
He cut his eyes to her and what she saw made the maliciousness in her face fall. “I've had enough, Jenni.” He turned his eyes back to me as he stepped away from her. I could almost feel their relationship going up in flames. “You okay, Star?”
I nodded my head, unable to speak past the lump in my throat. The compassion and concern in his eyes almost made me cave. I knew without a doubt that if I went to him, right now, that he'd open his arms and never let me go.
I bit back the tears that started to choke me. I couldn't do it. Not to Gabe. He deserved more than I could ever offer, even if he was the type of guy I should be with. Andrei's face flashed in my mind, but I shoved it roughly away. There was no one for me. There could never be.
“I'm fine.” I said softly. I moved down the stairs and gave him a pathetic excuse for a smile. Jenni was staring between the two of us, her eyes narrowed in thought. She must have known that he would have caught on to how much of a bitch she was eventually. I knew that no matter the cause that I would be the one the backlash fell on. Now she had ample ammunition.
I got into my car right as she was trying to patch things up with him. From the tone of his voice and how rigid he was standing, I knew it was hopeless. His body language spoke volumes.
I sped off, done with the day. I didn't have anywhere else to go except for home. It wasn't a lovely thought and I dreaded walking into that house every minute of the drive there.
It was silent, almost eerily silent. No one barged out of doorways as I slowly walked in. There wasn't any yelling, any screaming. Nothing. I walked around, listening. Still, there was nothing. I peeked into the garage and saw that Dad's car was gone. Mom's was still there, but that didn't mean that they didn't ride together. I breathed out a sigh of relief as I made it to my room.
I undressed and stepped into the scolding hot shower, letting the pain of it beat against my already worn body. I sank slowly down onto the tub floor, drew my knees up to my chest, and finally let myself cry.
Chapter Thirty-Two
I woke up to the feeling of cool fingers lightly stoking my face. I cracked my eyes open. Mom was sitting on the bed, silently sobbing. She looked tired and had aged in the past couple of months. I never noticed the small lines that lined her eye’s until this moment. The early morning sun caught on gray that was strewn throughout her strawberry blonde hair.
“Mom, what are you doing?”
Her hand automatically retracted from my face. I missed its presence. She wiped her eyes hastily and turned a smile my way. “Nothing. Just came down to wish you a happy birthday and give you your present.”
I sat up slowly in the bed, keeping my eyes on her. “Thanks, I guess.” I looked over at the clock and noticed it was barely six in the morning. I didn't know how long she'd been here.
“It's a big day today. You're finally an adult.”
“Yes, I'm sure you and Dad are ecstatic. Now you can legally kick me out.”
Her eyes widened in horror. “No, no Star. We'd never do that.”
A chuckle erupted from me. “Sure you wouldn't.” I leaned back against my headboard and drew my knees up. “Alright, so what's the present?”