“What?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.
“What?” My innocent, deer in headlights look was totally lost on him. I needed to work on that if I was ever going to be as good as my mother.
“You said something.”
“When?”
“Just a second ago.”
“Oh, What?”
“You said something— just a second ago, what was it.” Traces of anger starting to flush his neck.
“What.”
“God damn it, Star! What did you say a second ago!?” he slammed the steering wheel which caused the car to jerk again. I placed my palm against the window, not wanting a repeat of my head embracing the glass. I really wish he would quit doing that.
“What!” I nearly shouted now, trying hard to hold back a grin. My mother, on the other hand, couldn't quite hold back her laughter.
“What?” he asked her harshly.
“Exactly!” I threw my arms up in my excitement. Mom's laughter rang throughout the car, making me feel warm and fuzzy. She had that ability. With just one smile she could brighten my day. When she laughed, it's like being embraced by a giant, fluffy unicorn. Dad rolled his eyes at us and turned to concentrate broodily on driving. Mom turned in her seat and gave me a wink, her violet eyes alight with laughter. I smirked in return, then turned back to the view, feeling better than I had in ages.
I could feel a frown forming as I tried to remember the last time I was truly happy. Sure, I was amused often, and occasionally I got those warm happy feelings. But I couldn't remember the last time that happiness actually stayed, or wasn't underlined with fear. I know that as you get older happiness isn't as easy to come by, but I'm seventeen, not thirty-five. You'd think it would be a couple of years until my happiness started to dissipate.
It seemed like everything started to fade after my sixteenth birthday. Like I woke up and found a darkness in me, a side I never knew existed. All of a sudden I was just getting pissed off for no reason. Sometimes I could control it, but more and more it seems like it’s beginning to control me, which scares the hell out of me. That's why I call it my darkness. It's all-consuming, bleak. It feels like it's spreading inside of me. Like an obsidian poison working through my system. Devouring who I am. Who I was. That's what scares me the most. I'm forgetting who I am and becoming something, but I don't know what that something is.
Dad's grumble snapped me out of my bleak thoughts. “We’re almost out of town.”
“Oh, man! Don’t tell me I blinked and I missed it!” I couldn’t help but bait him. I picked my iPod back up as dad started to argue with himself. He always argued with himself. I don't think he ever won the arguments either. It eased my mind to see that even through all this madness and self-doubt that Dad was still mainly the same. I would hate it if the darkness in me began to change my family. I couldn't help but fear that in time, everything would change.
I smirked as his arguing intensified. “Let me know who wins.” I half yelled, turning up the volume of the music before he could respond.
Chapter Three
It took thirty minutes to get from town to the driveway. I knew for a fact it took thirty minutes because the timer on my phone was blinking at me with those horrifying numbers. However good I may have felt thirty minutes ago faded with each passing second it took us to travel to our new 'home'. My parents, of course, weren't horrified about that fact at all. No, they were too busy chatting about the merits of living in the country. A chill raced down my spine as I looked at the surrounding woods.
I couldn't help the sigh of relief as the car finally pulled to a stop. I was beyond sore at this point. We were on the road for days on end, with very few stops along the way. My muscles were stiff from being in such a cramped position for so long. Sure, our car was nice whenever we went to town or on small trips, but I doubted a cloud would feel good after a couple of days on the road. I was lucky I wasn't surrounded by our belongings during the trip. I would have started a rebellion if I had been.
I stretched, trying to work out as many muscle cramps as I could while watching the moving company we hired work their way through the trucks.
I braced myself. I didn't know what type of house we'd be moving into and was afraid that it would be some type of log home or ancient farm house. When my parents bought it they refused to show me a picture or to even describe it. They said they wanted me to be surprised. I hated surprises. I turned toward the house and felt my breath leave me in a giant whoosh.
It was beautiful. A cobblestone path led up to the large front door with decorative shrubs on either side. Large multi paned window reflected the late evening rays back at me, causing my eyes to water slightly. The two story house was made of a soft rose colored brick. The color should have made it look extremely feminine, but the sharp angles of the roof cast stateliness to its appeal. Almost masculine in its sharpness, balancing out the feminine details.
A glimmer at the corner of the house caught my attention. I leaned toward it and could just make out a large lake in the distance. I turned my gaze back to our new house and silently compared it to the house we had back in LA. While I loved our old house, this definitely upped the ante on awesome houses. I couldn't believe it. I looked back at my parents, almost expecting to see them holding in their laughter over the worst joke of all time. I swear I'd kill them if they had played me for a fool.
“Are you serious!?” My tone came out sharper than I intended. By their instant frowns, I knew they took it the wrong way. They looked slightly hurt, and I hated myself for that. That they would become so used to me being spiteful that they'd take everything the wrong way.
“Pumpkin, we thought you would like it.”
“Like it?” I didn't like it, I loved it.
“Yes.” Mom jumped in, fluttering her hands as if unsure how to proceed. “We thought that with everything you've been going through that you'd want a space of your own. It's not two storied, you see. There's a fully finished walk out basement, and we thought—”
“I have my own floor?”
“Look, Star. We know this isn't LA, but we're trying to—” The rest of my Dad's sentence was lost as I threw myself at them. I could feel them stiffen before they relaxed into my exuberant hug. I knew they had become so used to minimal displays of affection from me, but it still hurt that they didn't automatically embrace me.
“So—you like it?”
“Like it!? Are you serious? I love it!” I thought my happy dance was about to throw them into shock. I tried to tap down on my excitement, but it refused to be pushed aside. “I get my own floor, for crying out loud! This is awesome!” I was tempted to hug them again, but they shared a 'look', one that spelled trouble for me. I knew this was too good to be true. “Wait, what's the catch?”
Warring emotions playing across their faces. I crossed my arms and stared them down, impatiently tapping my toe against the pavement. I was about to lay into them when mom cut in with one of her placating smiles.
“We'll talk about it later, okay? Why don't we all go inside and check out the house first. She ushered us quickly inside, side stepping around movers at the carried our furniture and boxes through the house.
I was about to dig in my heels and get them to hash everything out that instant, but instead I ended up staring wide-eyed at the interior of the home. I turned in a slow circle in the middle of the entryway, trying to take in as many details as I could.
The entryway was open and airy, with a staircase ahead leading to the upper floor, and doorways on either side leading to the living room and dining room. The kitchen lay straight ahead. The rubber soles of my shoes squeaked on the tile floor as I turned. To my left, an arched doorway led into a large living room with floor to ceiling windows. The cathedral ceiling went all the way up to the roof of the house, showing deep cherry wood rafters. Sunlight filtered through the wall of windows, letting soft rose light dance upon the pale cream walls. Bedroom doors were open on the second floor, where railing along the upper hallway created a loft like feel, showcasing the living room.