“Happy Birthday.” I was tempted to look up at him, oh so tempted. I bit my lip and stared down at the desk, gripping the edges so hard that my knuckles turned white. “Hey, are you mad at me?” No, I'm not mad at you, I'm just not a good person. It's best if you just stay away from me. “I'm sorry about the other day. I didn't know Jenni was such a bitch.” Kind of hard not to notice when you're on the receiving end of it. “I broke up with her. I thought you'd like to know that.”
I held my breath as my anxiety started increasing. My hand shot up, interrupting Ms. Beckingdale's lecture.
“Is there something else you wanted to add to our discussion, Miss McKinley?”
I was starting to feel sick. The darkness for once was staying put, but it felt like something else was starting to take over. “May I go to the Nurse?” I asked in a rush, already rising from my seat and grabbing my things.
“No, you may no—”
I stormed passed her, the door swinging shut behind me.
“Star!” I turned to see Gabe following me. I shook my head at him and kept going. My pace picking up until I was practically running. “Star! Stop!”
I made it to my car and was fumbling with the handle when I felt his body ram into me. “Jesus H!” I grabbed his shoulders, the momentum almost knocking me to the ground. Breathless, I looked up into his amber eyes.
“Why do you keep running away from me?”
I shook my head and tried to get out of his grip. “I'm not running away from you. I'm running away from everyone.”
“Star, you don't have to. Why won't you tell me what's going on? I'd help you if you'd let me. I'd be anything for you, if you'd let me.” He brushed my hair away from my face. The darkness tried to rise, but the sick feeling within me increased. Pushing through the waves of darkness that we're rising up.
“Look, I appreciate that, but we can't—”
“Why can't we? You must know how I feel about you. Star, I—” I felt weak against him. I didn't want this. Andrei's face kept popping up. Gabe leaned down and rested his warm lips upon mine. All I could think about was how it was supposed to be Andrei. This was wrong. Totally and completely wrong.
I jerked away from him, his hand catching on the amulet, ripping the ribbon from my neck. As it broke loose, so did the darkness. I reached back and slapped Gabe as hard as I could. The darkness following my hands point of contact as the clinking sound of the amulet hitting pavement reverberated through my mind.
“Don't fucking touch me!” I screamed as I watched the darkness surround him, lifting him and finally throwing him into another car. He sat there, stunned. I felt my eyes turn quickly from violet to pure, liquid silver. There seemed to be a pulse in the center of my chest. With each pulse of energy, time seemed to slow. I could almost hear the energy and the darkness building within me. I closed my eyes. I was tired, so tired of all of this. I didn't want this. It wasn't me. I didn't want to fight anymore.
“I give up.” I whispered as my knees gave out on me sending me falling to the pavement. My palms scraped against the course grit of dirt, imbedding in my hands. There was a pause, and with one final pulse all hell released.
I screamed up into the sky. It felt like someone had shattered me. Pain pierced every aspect of my body. Tears streamed down my face, mixing in small puddles with the blood that began seeping from my palm.
The sky darkened and lightning flashed in the distance. The ground shook with the toll of thunder as everything within me released, whipping out around me like a thousand whips, effecting everything. Gabe's look of horror spurted me into action. I ran.
Chapter Thirty-Four
The trees whipped by my face in a sporadic blur. The greens and browns were muted in the storms darkening wrath. My lungs were on fire but I didn't stop. I couldn't stop. I had to escape, yet I knew that no matter how far or fast I ran, I could never escape this. It was me, this storm was me. It always was.
I found myself running through the back door of my basement. My haven. The storm continued to rage outside as I stood dripping wet, shivering within the safety of my home.
I paced the floor, tears streaming down my face, my mind racing a million miles a minute. It was me. It had always been me. Every incident, every accident. Everything was my fault. I caused it. I had caused all of it. The darkness that I had become so used to was consuming me, turning me. I felt like screaming. I felt like curling up upon myself and holding on until I didn't feel like I was going to shatter anymore. I didn't understand this, any of this.
I had read the journal, but it was all impossible. Nothing Sarah had written about seemed even remotely similar to what I was going through. She made it sound so beautiful, so fulfilling. Whatever had a hold of me, was inside of me, was none of those things. There had to be more. There had to be something I was missing.
I fumbled helplessly with the journal. Ripping a page in my haste to get to the end, to see what was left. I held it in my trembling hands. My entire body was shaking. I felt like I was going to fall apart.
The Year of our Goddess, 1691
The Prophecy, as told by our Goddess's favorite.
'A child will come to pass,
One who's beauty and strength will rival those of the bloodlines.
One who's strength and courage will be that of many men.
She will be his release,
And she will be his demise.
Through sunrise and sunset, she will be tested.
If she embraces that which resides in her, she will be the savior of all of us.
If she denies that which resides within her, she will condemn us all.'
I knew this day would come. The Prophecy has been passed down through the line of Priestesses before me.
A warning of the child to come.
A child that within her lies the blood of the most powerful witches and warlocks of history.
A burden that she will have to carry alone.
I had hoped that The Prophecy would not come to pass with myself as a witness. I had prayed to the Goddess that my daughter, and those that come through the ages, would be spared.
I prayed, Goddess, how I prayed, but I was never answered.
So here I sit, heavy with child, knowing that I will never be able to hold her in my arms. I will never be able to watch her grow, see her accomplishments and failures. I will never be able to see her fall in love, and watch as that love becomes another child.
Though the Goddess refused my reverent wish, I was given a respite. I have seen the future. I have seen where The Prophecy will conclude. I have seen you, Starlette.
I re-read the passage, my frantic mind grasping at some connection to what was happening. I felt light headed at the knowledge that she knew. This past ancestor of mine knew what was happening to me. What was destroying me? I didn't care if it sounded insane. Everything about my life was insane, what was one more.
It will all end with you, my dear child.
I cannot express how sorrowful it makes me feel to know that one of my family will be burdened with this.
But I take heart in the knowledge that you have the strength within you to succeed.
And you need to succeed, Starlette. There is no other option.