People with autism cannot read social cues. This means they never converge no matter the context. They look lonely, asocial, and "strange" in various ways. While popular culture has demonized "loners" as unstable and dangerous, this is a myth. Such individuals run a higher-than-average risk of discrimination.
Natural leaders will converge when joining others of higher status. They will not converge when meeting potential followers. This forces others to make more effort to converge. We value our relationships according to how much we invest in them. So working harder to converge makes a deeper attachment to the leader. And that builds the group, as participants converge on a single person.
Mallory acts much like a natural leader at this stage. Yet he starts to abuse and mistreat members of the group almost at once. A natural leader treats and protects the group like family. Mallory treats the group as his possession or toy. This is narcissism, one of his masks.
In extreme cases, he forces others to make extreme efforts to converge. To force a consistent dress, language, and behavior is a form of abuse. It breaks the individual’s identity and self-image. This is a pure psychopathic trait, in individuals and organizations.
The Cloak of Invisibility
Convergence establishes the nature and depth of a relationship. It generally takes time and effort to become a corporate drone. There is a way to cheat, namely "mirroring." In this, one person (the "actor") copies another person, in real time. The most obvious sign is the actor switching language and accent. We’re less likely to notice the shifts in body language and appearance.
What the actor is saying is, "we are close and you can trust me." When someone adopts your accent, it sounds like they are from your home region. It’s an invisible sound. The sure way to know if someone is mirroring you is when they show no accent (to your ears). Unless, of course, they did in fact grow up where you did.
Mirroring is a cloak of invisibility, a mask that triggers trust and relaxation. It is a core talent of psychopaths. When Mallory uses mirroring, he becomes a dangerous presence. He does it to get close to his targets.
It’s not malicious by definition. It evolved, presumably, as a defense mechanism. When you move to foreign places, the ability to mirror is a life-saver. We tend to see other people as fuzzy bundles of triggers. Mirroring lies about the actor’s past and makes it seem they have been there for years.
Shape Shifters
Mallory does not feel social emotions. This is not a bug. It is a feature. If she had social emotions, she would be unable to work. And yet, the lack of emotional responses is a fatal give-away. Her answer, evolved and carried in her genes, is to borrow from others, using mimicry.
Mallory is a superb observer. She is always hunting, untroubled by emotional filters. One thing she watches for are new types of emotional scenes. Something happens, one person responds with emotions, and then others respond in turn. She watches these dramas. Somewhere in her mind, specialized neurons capture the caricature of behavior. Facial expressions, body language, voice inflection, and way of speaking.
And she replays this on demand.
This ability makes Mallory an excellent and convincing actor. Her projection is rich and has all the right triggers. This makes it more convincing than the original.
For example, when Bob or Alice get angry, they show a loss of control. It is still tinged with some fear. Mallory records this and replays it, without the fear. The result is a perfect "anger" mask that is terrifying at a visceral level. The same for displays of love, jealousy, self-pity, fear, loneliness, guilt, affection, sincerity.
People talk of the psychopaths' "masks of normality." In fact these are masks of super-normality. Much of Mallory’s power comes from this talent, and our hard-wired responses to it.
Mallory can switch masks in a heartbeat. One second, calm. The next, intense fear. The next, brooding violence. The next, dramatic self-pity. Then, calm again.
Mimicking is a powerful tool that works on most people, most of the time. It has some inherent weaknesses and telltales. Remember, Mallory is showing prerecorded emotions. A social person starts with a mix of emotions and then expresses these.
These are some ways to tell that you are seeing Mallory’s mask:
❂ The emotional display is too pure, too intense. This is hard to see, as we’re so vulnerable to the triggers. Yet if you can step away from your own responses, you can tell the difference. Bob is wine at 12% alcohol and Mallory is spirits at 40%.
❂ The masks have no gradient. Social emotions can flash on and off, yet they have ripples and echoes. It’s part of being social. Fear leads to anger, then to guilt, and regret and remorse. Mallory’s anger mask has no gradient, no social climbdown.
❂ The mask may be of someone you know, or even yourself. It is an interesting question to ask, when you see Mallory acting out. Who are they doing now?
❂ In rare cases you may confront Mallory with a situation she has no response for. Perhaps a plan failed. You may see the "slip and recover" where the mask falls. You see no personality, just quiet, deep calculation. I’ve seen this last a split second, or hours. Then there is decision, and she puts on another mask.
❂ Sometimes Mallory will lose control temporarily, when provoked. Mallory is not emotionless. She has some authentic emotions, like hunger, fury, and glee. You can provoke her through these emotions, and then she shows her real nature. It can be a terrifying experience.
❂ When Mallory is tired, and at home, and can’t keep up the act, the mask may slip.
❂ When Mallory is over-confident, then her true emotions can show through. She may show flashes of glee for instance, when she believes a plan is working well.
The masks will fool anyone who is not aware of how this trick works. Her extreme emotional displays are not just for camouflage. They are also a whip and a hook. Strong emotional displays create strong responses. Those responses are addictive.
Mallory’s true emotions are worth understanding, and I explain more in The Dance of Emotions. She feels hunger when bored, then obsession when she finds a new target. As she starts the chase, she feels euphoria, and as she closes in she feels glee. When she moves in for the kill, she feels fury, and as she inflicts damage, she feels bloodlust. As she feeds she feels gluttony, then satiation when she’s had enough. And when she fails in a hunt, she feels blocked.
All other emotions she shows are fake.
When Mallory apologizes and shows remorse, it is an act. When Mallory stares into your eyes and says, "I promise," it is an act. When Mallory shows bad temper and burning anger it is an act. When Mallory tells you, "if you do that, I will kill you," it is an act. This can be hard to remember, so convincing is the mask. All psychopaths have the capacity for violence and yet, if they do strike, they will never warn you.
With mimicking, Mallory pushes people around like pieces on a game board. Only other psychopaths are immune, not responding to these emotional triggers.
Constructing the Narrative
Every psychopathic relationship has the same structure. At the heart, Mallory places a core of lies and promises. I call this the "Narrative". Around that, Alice wraps layers of efforts and investments, string around stone. Over time the ball becomes huge. To untangle it, and find the lies at its heart, can be difficult.