The case of Charles Whitman[62] gives us a strong hint. Whitman’s father appears to have been a psychopath. Whitman himself showed some of the traits. Charm and small-scale criminality. On 1 August 1966, he shot 16 people, after complaining about "tremendous" headaches. A later autopsy showed a tumor pressing on his amygdala.
Like the I-Rex and the Tsavo lions, psychopathic killers live outside the system. I’d guess most are caught rapidly. That is, if a hundred psychopaths suffer the specific damage to their amygdala that turns them into killers, then ninety-nine get caught and imprisoned after one or two murders. As such they never count as "serial killers." The careers of those we know about is likely to be survivorship bias[63].
Serial killers are so scary and fascinating because they epitomize the psychopath’s predator traits. Every time we read about a serial killer we think of all our near escapes. You almost never see the psychopath’s predatory nature naked, in the daylight. Mallory hides so well. Serial killers show us Mallory naked and exposed, in broad daylight. It is a scary and yet compelling sight.
Paying the Bill
Psychopathic households live in violence, emotional and physical. Few of the victims report even physical violence[64] to the police. Let alone neglect and emotional violence, which can be hard to explain and prove. About one third of women and men alike pass through an abusive relationship. About 40% of murders of women are at the hands of their partners[65], compared to 6% for men.
I’m not claiming that violence is Mallory’s monopoly. Most violent male deaths are at the hands of other men. And most often in disputes over women, territory, or status. Male-on-male violence does not shock us. We have institutionalized it as war. We glorify it in our culture.
What I am claiming is that the abusive relationship is a psychopath’s digestive system. How it starts, how it flows, and how it ends are a evolved mechanism. It is how Mallory consumes Alice and Bob. It can be that in some cultures, abusive relationships are the norm. I’d consider these cultures to be psychopathic, like a national cult.
If you know someone who is in an abusive relationship, it is likely one of the two is a psychopath. You must take real care before making a conclusion. Psychopaths lie. They will often claim to be the victim. They will often look exactly as you’d expect a victim to look. Most often there is no visible violence. As I explained, the real victims do not like to talk about their experiences.
So the violence tends to resurface in a different form: self-harm.
A million people a year take their own lives[66], reported the WHO in 2012. For every death, there are 20 attempts. The WHO says 5% of people will try at least once to take their own lives. I think they under-counted. 20 million x 70 (global life expectancy) makes 1.4 billion, or 1/5th of the world population in 2012.
Attempted suicide is a cry for help from someone who has no other voice. For every suicidal person, how many live in long term depression? Five, ten, fifty? The WHO estimates 350 million people live in depression globally. It says, "depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide." As men tend to not ask for help[67], the real figure may be much higher.
Conclusions
I’ve explained how Mallory feeds. It is usually a slow business, yet it is violent. It often drives Alice and Bob to long term depression, PTSD, or suicide. While Mallory is not a serial killer, he is a serial abuser. His selfish use of others can result in death.
Mallory deserves his dark caricature. It’s not just that he causes such massive amounts of suffering and death. It’s that he does this pragmatically, to control his victims, and to stop them talking.
Despite this, Mallory evolved in a predator-prey relationship. Later I’ll explain how this relationship has been good, even essential, for our species. First, I will provide a set of tools for breaking yourself or another person free. If you are in a relationship with a psychopath, you must have this goal. It can seem impossible. Yet there are ways out.
We start by asking the essential question, "am I confronting a psychopath?" and I will answer this in the next chapter.
Hunting Mallory
"We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals."
The Happy Couple
Mark is in love. It’s not like him. Yet he is full of romantic energy. It washes over him and washes him away, like sea waves. He’s been seeing Florence for a few months, and they are perfect together. They clicked at once, love at first sight. Eyes meeting across the room, she strides towards him. She pokes him with a finger. "So you’re that Mark guy they tell me about." "What do they say?" he asks, flustered. "Nothing good," she says, turns, and walks away. That night, she’s in his hotel room and the next days he cannot stop thinking about her.
Apart from their age difference, and the fact he’s married, it’s perfect. Well, she’s also married, with a young child. Details, nothing can stop destiny. He’s a stubborn and confident man, works on intuition, afraid of no-one’s opinion. That’s how he made his money. That’s why Florence loves him, for his power and strength.
He tells his wife, who stares at him in shock. "How old?" she asks. She cannot believe this conversation is real. "How long have you been seeing her?" All the obvious questions. "I don’t want a divorce," he says, "just my freedom." He’d discussed this with Florence. He’s a responsible man. Abandoning his wife and kids would be shameful. The correct choice is separation.
His wife doesn’t argue, and doesn’t get angry. She has no tools to deal with this. The younger woman stealing her husband, it is such a caricature, so fatal. She wants to disappear. Money, she panics, how will she live? It’s all his money, she has nothing, except part of the house. If he cuts her off, she’ll have to beg. A life spent at home, raising the kids and cleaning. She feels powerless, mute.
Florence and Mark travel, and make their plans. They will live together, she has already chosen a house. "I don’t want your money," she tells him, and he insists. They fight over it, their first real argument, and finally she accepts. "Don’t think you can buy me," she warns. "I know men like you." He assures her, he’s different, and she relaxes again.
His friends tell him he’s looking happy, for the first time in so many years. He feels he is bouncing with energy, euphoric, and confident. Florence’s power flows through him. Only his sister scrutinizes him. She says, "you’ve lost weight, brother." He admits he isn’t sleeping enough. Problems at work, he explains.
And yes, there are problems at work. The endless corporate politics have turned against him. Florence is his rock. She helps him understand what’s going on. She warns him against trusting people who hate him and want to destroy him.
His accountant emails him, warning him he’s been spending too much money. Well, of course, the houses and the travel, it’s adding up. Everything in double now. He gets a personal loan from the bank. He buys Florence a new car. She’s angry with him for wasting their money, and they fight. Later she forgives him. The car’s OK, she says, and she takes it away for a drive.