They called her the Painted Lady, he seemed to recall, and he could see why. She was heavily, almost theatrically, made-up: had she once been on stage? He thought he'd heard that about her too. She was accompanied by an orange dwarf, who carried a fat, translucent Persian cat asleep in a gilded cage. But for all the trappings, the most striking thing about her was her eyes – dark, liquid and penetrating.
Those eyes transfixed him like javelins as Blue made the introductions. Madame Cardui reached out a slim hand writhing with serpent rings, smiled to show fine scarlet teeth, gripped his hand firmly and said, 'It is such a pleasure to meet you, Gatekeeper Fogarty. Deeah Princess Blue has told me much about you. May I present my servant Kitterick?' She nodded benignly towards the orange dwarf.
Fogarty, thunderstruck, said nothing. And continued to say nothing as she repeated the story she'd told Blue about the threat of assassination facing someone in the royal household. In fact, the only thing he did say before she swept out of the room at the end of the audience was, 'Madame Cardui, what is your given name?'
She had fixed him again with those wonderful eyes and said in that wonderful voice, 'Cynthia, Gatekeeper Fogarty. My given name is Cynthia.'
Then she was gone and Fogarty stood trembling in her wake. Thank God he'd hidden that from Blue and Pyrgus.
It was ludicrous to have that sort of reaction to a woman at his age. It was ludicrous to have that sort of reaction to a woman at any age. He didn't recall having had it before. Not when he was a kid mooning over some pimply first love he couldn't even remember now. He didn't have it when he met Miriam, the woman he married in his twenties. Admittedly Miriam had been a bit of a moo, but still…
The question was what was he going to do about it?
He knew what he'd have done about it when he was really the age he felt right now. He'd have climbed on the hog and rode out after her like the Lone Bloody Ranger. He'd have grabbed her and kissed her till her ears dropped off. And if she was seeing someone else he'd have beaten him to a pulp.
Wouldn't do now, of course. He was Gatekeeper now, the most respectable, responsible job he'd ever held. Couldn't just take off chasing skirt. More to the point, he was eighty-seven and his days of beating rivals to a pulp were long gone. Unless, of course, he used a cricket bat. Idly he wondered if she had anything going with the dwarf.
He was coming out of the bathroom when somebody started hammering on his front door. Fogarty froze. Nobody was supposed to get anywhere near his home without triggering the security system. There were guards as well – Pyrgus had insisted on that – but even if somebody managed to slip past them, the devices he'd set up would have alerted him long ago. But somebody had got past his guards and his security and was at his door now, in the middle of the night.
Fogarty walked to the bank of view screens he'd installed in his living quarters. The remote periphery looked clear, except for his cloaked guards who showed up as reassuring green shapes. The middle ground was clear as well – a few foxes and rabbits (or what passed for foxes and rabbits in the Realm) but nothing to worry about – so it wasn't any sort of mass attack.
His eyes flickered to the screens that showed his front porch. A tall, hooded figure was reaching out a gloved hand to knock again. There was no obvious sign of weaponry (although the cloak could have hidden anything) but at least the figure was alone. All the same, not even a lone visitor should have passed the guards unnoticed. And nobody, but nobody, should have beaten his security devices. The expected assassination attempt? Blue thought the target must be Pyrgus, but word was the victim would be someone in the royal household. That could still be Pyrgus, but it could also be Blue herself or any one of a dozen senior servants and advisors, including himself.
Would an assassin knock on your front door?
Fogarty's eyes narrowed as he tried to think it through. Everybody knew assassins didn't just come calling at your door: they snuck in the back or through your window or down your chimney. Or they used a transformation spell to disguise their appearance, make them look like a friend or somebody harmless. The clown outside didn't look like a friend, he looked like an assassin. The hood hid the face, the cloak hid the weapons. But why would an assassin want to look like an assassin and walk right up to your front door? Unless he was an extremely cunning assassin who knew that nobody would believe somebody who looked like an assassin and came knocking at your door could possibly really be an assassin. Except that -
Fogarty gave up the attempt and took a cricket bat from the cupboard beside the front door. He'd have preferred his old shotgun, but since he'd used it to kill the Purple Emperor, he thought it was undiplomatic to keep carrying it. What was he going to do – keep explaining he'd been possessed by a demon at the time? Besides, a cricket bat didn't often kill people if you knew what you were doing; and you could use it to break their fingers during the interrogation afterwards. The interrogation afterwards was important. You could find out who sent them and if there was anybody else after you. He hefted the bat and opened the door. 'Good evening, Alan,' said Madame Cardui. 'I thought at our age it might be best to dispense with the preliminaries.' She glanced at the bat as she swept past him. 'Oh, good – shall we be playing games?'
Blue awoke sleepily to find someone was shaking her. Blearily she focused beyond the lamp he was carrying. 'Pyrgus, what are you doing?'
'Hairstreak's sent the Duke of Burgundy to see me,' Pyrgus hissed urgently. 'I need you to tell me what to do.'
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE
Henry had an utterly, totally brilliant idea, one so obvious he wondered why he hadn't thought of it before. Since he couldn't find where Aisling had hidden his portal control, he could at least go and see if Mr Fogarty had another one! It was night now and his mother would have gone ballistic if she'd thought he was visiting Mr Fogarty's home after dark. But his mother could no more remember who he was than could his sister, so there didn't seem a lot to stop him.
He pulled on a mac since it had started to rain and caught the last bus out. If he didn't find another control, he could always stay the night and catch the first bus home tomorrow. For all his problems with them, lethe cones had their advantages. And he still had four left.
By the time he was walking down Mr Fogarty's road, a lot of his confidence had evaporated. The trouble was, all he could think about was Blue and how she had to be wondering why he wasn't with her now she needed him. With his luck, there would be no second control and it would be months before he got to the Faerie Realm.
His luck turned out to be exactly as he has expected. He searched Mr Fogarty's house from top to bottom without finding so much as a hint of a portal control. He was wondering if he should bang his head against a wall when he had his second utterly, totally, wonderfully brilliant idea within three hours.
He went straight to the desk in the bedroom and rooted till he found Mr Fogarty's notebook.
The notebook was fascinating. There were technical sketches for all sorts of devices – including something called a Wishing Machine – all labelled in Mr Fogarty's small, neat hand. Many of them were clearly unfinished, some were jottings for machine parts and circuit boards, and quite a few made no sense to Henry whatsoever, although he tried to put that little discovery out of his head as soon as it occurred to him. If he couldn't make sense of the plans he was looking for, he was in real trouble. And if he couldn't find the plans at all, he was in bigger trouble still.
About a third of the way through the notebook, Henry found the plans he was looking for.
The drawing wasn't labelled 'portal control'. It was headed 'psychotronic reality disruptor' with the 'disruptor' crossed out and replaced by the word 'realignment'. It was the psychotronic bit that caught Henry's attention. He remembered Mr Fogarty mentioning something about his portals using a psychotronic trigger and pumped electricity. There was nothing about pumped electricity on this page, but the psychotronic bit looked promising.