I was amazed at his concern. He had had musicians brought to the house in Melun, because he had heard that when my father became uneasy and showed signs of another lapse, he could be soothed by music.
When Melun fell, the next objective was Paris.
I wondered how I should feel, riding into our capital side by side with its conqueror. Henry was uneasy too; he thought there might be certain hostility, and for that reason he chose to go on in advance. He said he did not want to put me in any danger; and before I entered the city he must make sure that all would be well.
So it was with my mother beside me that I rode into Paris. I was amazed at our reception. Banners hung from the windows, wine was running from the conduits in the streets and the cheers were deafening.
I was relieved. They bore me no resentment for having joined the conqueror, and I knew that their greeting was not given out of fear but love for me.
So we spent Christmas in Paris and we were happy. Surely, I thought, this must be an end of hostilities. What more did he want? I was bold enough to ask him.
“France is mine,” he said, “and what pleases me most is that I have made my French Princess Queen of England. But you will learn, little one, that there is often as much strife in holding what one has gained as in taking possession of it. To have is important, but it must not be forgotten that one must hold.”
However, for that Christmas we gave ourselves up to pleasure. He could be as merry as any. We danced and sang; we played the harp together.
It was a wonderfully happy Christmas.
I might have known it could not last.
My friend Margaret, Duchess of Clarence, told me that the English were getting restive. They were not pleased that their King should desert them and spend so much of his time away from his own land. Conquests were all very well and when the conquering heroes returned they could be certain of a rapturous welcome, but Henry was first and foremost King of England, and that should not be forgotten.
Margaret said: “I heard news from England. Humphrey of Gloucester is Regent while the Duke of Bedford is in France and…well, it is not that the people do not like Humphrey…but he is not like Clarence or Bedford. He likes a little riotous living. He frequents the taverns. He is overfond of women. Mind you, he is full of energy and has great charm. He is something of a scholar, too. He is an odd mixture of a man. But…he is very ambitious. I have always fancied that he is a little envious of Henry…oh, full of admiration, of course, but in my opinion he is deeply discontented because he was born his father’s youngest son instead of his eldest.”
“He sounds a little…dangerous.”
Margaret lifted her shoulders. “One to be watched,” she suggested.
Margaret was right. Messengers came from England. There were letters for Henry, and he shut himself in with them for some little time.
It was not long after that that he talked to me. It was night, and we were alone. He put his arms around me and said: “How do you fancy a sea voyage?”
I looked at him in astonishment and he went on: “The Channel is not at its most inviting in the winter, but crossing it is a necessity, I fear.”
“You mean…England?”
He nodded. “And soon.”
Everything was “soon” in Henry’s mind. He could never brook delay. Once he had made up his mind, the deed was as good as done.
“I must return,” he said. “I have been away too long. When all is said and done, England is my first responsibility.”
“And France?”
“I am going to appoint your mother Regent.”
“My mother!”
“I think she is devoted to your interests.”
I looked at him in astonishment and he went on: “Because they are hers. Moreover, it will be in name only. My brother John will remain in France. He will be in charge of everything.”
“But my mother …”
“Kate,” he said solemnly, “conquerors are never popular with the conquered. They are treated with honor only because the alternative would be too painful. A conquered people should be treated with care. They have been deeply humiliated by the conquest. The wise conqueror lessens the humiliation wherever possible. So I shall call your mother Regent and my brother John will, of course, make sure all goes well for us.”
“You trust John?”
“Absolutely. I am fortunate in my brothers. Thomas…dear Thomas…and John…good John and…er…Humphrey …”
“Humphrey is now looking after affairs in England for you.”
“Humphrey is the youngest.” He smiled affectionately. “He can be a little wild. I understand that.”
“As you were once,” I said.
“As I was once. It helps me understand Humphrey. He is a little like me. He will grow out of it.”
“You grew out of it when you became King. Humphrey will not have a crown to change him.”
“I should have grown out of it in any case…as he will. But…at the moment I must go back. I know all will be well here in John’s hands and very soon we shall return to France.”
I was excited at the prospect of going to England. For one thing, I should escape from my mother. I should indeed feel a few regrets to part from my father; but I was young and wanted new experiences. I was fast falling in love with my husband and the new life he offered; and to be with my father was a continual sadness, for one could not help sharing something of his sorrows and therefore one’s happy exhilarating existence must be tinged with the sadness of his.
As I said, Henry could not endure delay. We were going to England; therefore we should set out at once. It was winter, but, to Henry, that was of little consequence. He would have preferred spring, of course; but this happened to be winter and that was when we should go.
The Duke of Bedford had arrived with 6,000 men to escort us to Calais.
I liked my brother-in-law, John, as soon as we met. He was more like Henry than any of the others, not so much in appearance as—I was to discover—in character. He was a clever man, but slightly less clever than Henry; he was shrewd, brave, clear-sighted and resourceful. But it seemed to me that with all these qualities he just slightly failed to equal Henry. I think, too, that he was clever enough to know this, and I liked him for that. Henry was his hero and he was content to serve under him.
Humphrey was clever, but the difference between him and John was that John realized his limitations in regard to Henry; Humphrey did not, and all through his life he would tell himself, I would have equaled my brother Henry. The only reason I did not is that I had the misfortune not to be born my father’s eldest son.
I felt I was beginning to know my new family, and the experience was agreeable. My friendship with the Duchess of Clarence was now to be repeated with the Duke of Bedford.
We reached Amiens, where I was lodged with the bailiff. Several of my countrymen and-women came to see me there. They brought me presents and wished me well. It was comforting to know that they still held me in high regard. In fact, I think many of them were delighted to be at peace and were grateful to me for helping bring that about. There is no greater destroyer of happiness than war, when lands are devastated by ruthless soldiery and cities destroyed. Oh yes, it was a great relief to these people that the war was largely at an end, and their Princess was happily married to Henry of England.
We embarked at Calais. I do not want to dwell on the discomforts…I might even say torments…of that strip of water which had to be crossed. It is best forgotten. Henry, of course, was unaffected; but that did not mean he had no sympathy for those who were not. My relief at sighting the white cliffs of my new country was intense.