‘I was so angry with you.’
‘Then I must immediately begin to worm my way back into Your Majesty’s regard.’
‘You will not do it by standing under trees in thunderstorms.’
Lord Melbourne believed his size would prevent his doing that. One tree was all that was needed to shelter him. It was his subtle way of correcting her; she often needed correction. Her grammar was frequently faulty, and Lord Melbourne was so erudite. He noticed such things. As for herself, she was never quite sure when one should say ‘who’ or ‘whom’ or ‘me’ or ‘I’, but it was often convenient to be able to substitute ‘the Queen’ for the latter.
Then he talked lightly and easily about Canada and how Lord Durham as High Commissioner was managing. There were outbreaks of rebellion in Canada which were causing some concern to the Government.
‘Possession abroad means anxiety at home and those damned Tories are ready to exploit any situation for the sole purpose of bringing discomfort to Your Majesty’s Government,’ explained Lord Melbourne.
Victoria shivered at the use of the word ‘damned’. She had heard that Lord Melbourne was noted for his colourful oaths, but in her presence he was usually restrained; she was delighted that he could feel so relaxed as to use a mild one now and then. But she noticed that when he did it it was always in connection with State matters.
‘Lord Brougham is beside himself with glee, and if Durham fails to bring about the desired result, Brougham could ask for a vote of confidence.’
‘I’m sure the whole country has as much confidence in her Government as the Queen has.’
‘I wish I could be sure of that, ‘said Lord Melbourne fervently.
‘You dined at Holland House last night,’ said the Queen.
‘That was so.’
‘I trust that it was a reasonably entertaining evening?’
‘Your Majesty’s trust is not misplaced.’
She giggled and went on, ‘I wished that I were there sitting next to you and you could have amused me with some of your comments on the guests.’
‘A somewhat churlish occupation,’ replied Lord Melbourne. ‘For after all one is invited to these occasions to help entertain, not to criticise.’
‘But, Lord M, you are very critical.’
‘If I have the permission to correct Your Majesty I would say that I am the most forbearing man in the world.’
‘In some circumstances, perhaps. I am sure you would be very forbearing with Lady Holland.’
‘I have never had occasion to exercise that trait in my character in connection with Lady Holland.’
‘And I hope you never will be familiar enough with her to be called upon to do so. I think she has an extremely ugly mouth.’
Lord Melbourne smiled with cynical amusement. ‘Your Majesty is very observant.’
‘Yes, a vulgar mouth I should say. The Queen cannot understand why the Prime Minister finds the society at Holland House more entertaining than that at Windsor or Buckingham Palace.’
‘The Prime Minister cannot understand why the Queen imagines that he does.’
‘He goes there far too often.’
‘Not as often as he is at Buckingham Palace and there are some who say that he is there far too often.’
‘Naturally he has State business to discuss with the Queen.’
‘Such as the appearance of Lady Holland’s mouth, where he should stand during thunderstorms, his school days at Eton and the Queen’s in Kensington Palace.’
She began to laugh. He could always make her laugh even when she was beginning to feel a little angry about his visits to Holland House.
Lord Melbourne became momentarily serious as he often did when the conversation became a little too frivolous. The civil war in Spain, he said, was causing Her Majesty’s Government some concern. As for Portugal, that country was tottering on the edge of grave financial disaster.
‘They are far away from us,’ said the Queen.
‘No country can be completely unaffected by what is happening in another and the European situation is of vital importance to this country. “No man is an island”,’ he quoted. ‘Far less countries. We cannot afford to be unconcerned about any European situation.’
‘I know that Uncle Leopold is most concerned.’
‘Your Uncle Leopold likes to have a stir at every pudding.’
She laughed immoderately until she realised that she was laughing at Uncle Leopold, which seemed wrong.
She spread her hands and frowned at them, thinking that they would have been quite pretty if they did not get so red and swollen.
Lord Melbourne looked at them too.
‘You don’t like my rings,’ she accused him.
‘You wear far too many.’
‘Well, you see my hands get red and I think the rings hide them.’
‘They make them worse.’
‘I don’t wear them in the morning.’
‘If you didn’t wear them at all the fashion for so many rings would stop. And if you wore gloves when you are out riding your hands would not get red.’
‘I can’t get my gloves on.’
‘So you see it is a battle between rings and gloves … and you choose rings and cold hands against gloves and soft white ones.’
‘That doesn’t sound like a very wise choice.’
‘I leave your Majesty to decide.’
More laughter in the midst of which the door was opened and the Duchess came in.
Lord Melbourne rose and bowed; the Duchess nodded her feathers curtly; she looked at Victoria steadily and said: ‘I thought to find you alone.’
Victoria, coldly regal, replied: ‘No, Mamma. I am not alone. I have urgent State matters to discuss with my Prime Minister.’
Even at such a moment she wanted to laugh for the manner in which Lord Melbourne’s brow shot up told her what he was thinking: urgent matters like rings and red hands and Lady Holland’s vulgar mouth.
‘I did not realise that you were so busy,’ said the Duchess pointedly.
‘Well, you now see that we are.’
The Duchess’s rather insolent gaze swept the table and Victoria said: ‘If you wish to see the Queen it is better to make an appointment beforehand.’
Lord Melbourne took a document from his pocket and laid it on the table (for all the world, the Duchess told Sir John and Lady Flora afterwards, as though I was not there) and Victoria went over and studied it, ignoring her mother.
Uncertain, angry and tearful, the Duchess turned and went out of the room.
‘There you see,’ said Victoria, ‘she was spying on me. She will go back at once and report to That Man.’
‘She must not be allowed to walk in unannounced.’
‘I will go to see her and tell her that no one is to enter my apartments without first obtaining my permission.’
‘That, said Melbourne, ‘is the only way to settle the matter.’
The Baroness was rather angry.
‘What is it, Daisy dear?’ asked the Queen.
‘It is that impertinent Flora Hastings.’
‘Oh, that woman. In Lord Melbourne’s opinion she is most disagreeable. They call her Scotty. Whether it is a term of endearment I do not know. But I can’t imagine anyone’s finding anything endearing in Flora Hastings. What has she been doing now?’
‘Oh, just making her unpleasant remarks.’
‘About you?’
‘Sly hints at us both and of course Lord Melbourne.’
‘How dare she! And who are the Hastings? Lord M says they haven’t an ounce of brains between them. They are Tories, too.’
‘Scotty is very friendly with John Conroy.’
‘Which makes her even more odious.’
‘I’ve heard rumours that they are more than friendly.’